I declare a day of sadness! Cover your body with dirt, do not shave, and wear sackcloth for weeks in mourning! Or just come to college where these activities are "cool". After all, if there's a good way to protest, it must be ignoring all basic hygenic principles and screaming "America Sucks" all the time. Why are we sad? Because it's been weeks since Asylum *splash of urine* Outpatient's last Useless Fact! How can we atone? Damnitall, by learning about the Chimera! Yet another good monster conceived by the ancient Greeks, yet another disappointment to epic battles everywhere. Most Greek heroes didn't seem to want to trifle with their foes, and things like the Hydra, Minotaur, Kraken, Medusa, and Geryon were dispatched with relative ease. Chimera was no exception. It was whispered far and wide that this part bull, part goat, part snake, part lion abomination was immortal. It's snake part had venom that could melt steel, it's goat part was a lousy bridge player, it's lion part breathed fire, and it's bull part hogged conversations at tea parties from Athens to Troy. The chosen one in this story was a man named Bellaerphon who duped Pegasus into becoming his...mount. Weakening Chimera from the air with arrows, he killed it by using *tadah* a spear! He put a piece of lead at the end, and shoved it down Chimera's lion mouth. The breath melted the lead, and it oozed down the throat, causing it to die horrifically. However, as is so often (read: always) the case in Greek Mythology, this story ends tragically. Bellaerphon, overzealous about his victory, tried to use Pegasus to reach the top of Mount Olympus to become equal to the gods. Zeus sent a gadfly to sting Pegasus, and she bucked Bellaerphon right off. He spent the rest of his life as a cripple, singing "I have no legs" on subways, and making special interest videos for ancient Greeks who enjoyed watching paraplegics have sex. The moral of this story is never to set goals. Never try to be anything more than you already are, or attain anything that hasn't been done millions of times already. Always be content to be fat, smelly, lazy, out of shape, and disgusting. Hey, your parents love you! No...wait...they hate you. SO DO I! That's the gist!

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2002

Answers

Be gone off the Unanswered list you go!!!

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2002