THE TEN "CAT-MANDMENTS: --1. I am the Lord of thy House. --2. Thou shalt have no other pets before Me. --3. Thou shalt never ignore Me. --4. I shall ignore Thou when I feel like it. --5. Thou shalt be grateful that I even give Thou the time of day. --6. Remember My food dish and keep it full. --7. Thou shalt spend most Thy money on toys and gifts for Me. --8. Thou shalt always have Thy lap ready for Me to curl up in. --9. Thou shalt shower Me with love and attention upon demand. --10. Above all, Thou shalt do anything and everything it takes to keep me happy.

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2002

Answers

6. Remember My food dish and keep it full.

One of my kitties because quite concerned if there isn't several days worth of kibble in the food dish. Of course, then it goes stale and she isn't interested.

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2002

In "Dilbert", I have somewhat of a liking for Dogbert, but not Catbert. (I really like Dinosaur Bob.) Am I wrong?

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2002

I've just been flooded with e-mails asking why I like Dinosaur Bob. Bob is an agent of just retribution. He only gives wedgies to those who deserve them, like nerds.

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2002

Is being flooded by e-mails like a cyber wedgie?

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2002

#11. Thou shall not dress me in doll clothes and exclaim, "What a CUTE KITTY!"

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2002

Also, (Polly) thou shalt fill styro cups with water and place them in the shower so that I may knock them over for thee to fill up again.

(Soc) Thou shalt leave the closet door cracked so that I may enter therein whenever there is thunder about.

(Zucco) Thou shalt place some of thy food on a plate at my place on the table lest I jump on the table and start noshing on thine.

(Misc.) Thou shalt awake at three in the bloody morning to yowls of urgent and piteous nature when one of us decides thou has slept too long.

-- Anonymous, July 19, 2002

I'm so glad my cat doesn't talk unless someone steps on her tail.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 2002