I've been trying to get in here for a few days without any success. I was beginning to fear that Mr. Greenspun had decided to end our fun :-( I truly realized how much I'd miss our small community, though, when I started to write an e-mail to everyone from here whose address I have. I have become reliant on the caring and sharing that we do - and the story telling too!

I had decided to write e-mails because I wanted to let you all know that right now I'm hurting. My older brother died suddenly yesterday. Since his heart attack last year, he's quit smoking, changed his diet and made a point of exercising every day. That was enough to keep him going this past year, but yesterday his heart gave out. I'm sure a year of watching his granddaughter and the apple of his eye grow into a beautiful toddler and of welcoming into his life another granddaughter who became the apple of his other eye was a wonderful blessing. And he told me once that he had no fear of death - he thought it would be a wonderful adventure, but that he had no wish to seek that adventure until it sought him. So I'm sure he's happy. It's those of us left behind who mourn. We miss him. This is my big brother, the one who protected me, teased me and cared for me, and now he's gone. I have a big hole in my heart, and so does all my family. It's just a little bit smaller for being able to share it with y'all. Take care now, 'kay?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 18, 2002

Answers

For those who only check new answers page...

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 18, 2002.

Huh?

What?

Eh? (For youse Canadianainainainaina types ....)

Hmmph? (Rubs eyes, tries to wake up...)

(Grabs cup of coffee.)

Whats up?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (racookpe@earthlink.net), July 18, 2002.

Hi.

We're back!

Good to hear from you ... Wish circumstances were better at your end.

Robert

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (racookpe@earthlink.net), July 18, 2002.

((((((((((Tricia))))))))))

I wish I was there to give you the hug in person. Imagine that I am, OK? I'm SO sorry about your brother! It doesn't make sense after all of the positive changes he made. I'm thankful he got that extra year and didn't die when he had the heart attack, though. What a blessing to get to see those two granddaughters!

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. It reminds us not to take our family memebers for granted. In fact, I think I'll call my sisters today and tell them I love them. I'll also send up a prayer for YOU, my friend... I know a great Comforter.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 19, 2002.

((((((((((Tricia))))))))))

I wish I was there to give you the hug in person. Imagine that I am, OK? I'm SO sorry about your brother! It doesn't make sense after all of the positive changes he made. I'm thankful he got that extra year and didn't die when he had the heart attack, though. What a blessing to get to see those two granddaughters!

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. It reminds us not to take our family members for granted. In fact, I think I'll call my sisters today and tell them I love them. I'll also send up a prayer for YOU, my friend... I know a great Comforter.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 19, 2002.

Oops! Consider yourself doubly hugged! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 19, 2002.

Hugs and prayers from me too, Tricia.

-- (sonofdust@hugs.prayers), July 19, 2002.

Tricia, my deepest sympathies.

-- Peter Errington (petere7@starpower.net), July 19, 2002.

Oh Tricia! ((((((((((Tricia)))))))))) I am sorry you're hurting.

I know it's a blow to you and everybody else in the family. I too, wish I could give you a "for real" hug and sit and talk for as long as you'd like.

I had you on my mind several times throughout the day yesterday. . .before I saw this. Funny how that works sometimes, isn't it?

You and the family are in my prayers.

-- Brooke (Friendship@Hill.top), July 19, 2002.

((((Tricia)))

I'm so sorry to hear of your losing your brother. We are having a real flood of personal crises among our cyber family. You and your family are in my prayers.

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), July 19, 2002.

((((FRLians))))

I doubt I'll be here much in the next few days as we'll have guests and things to do before the funeral. All your caring is greatly appreciated, I can't express how much stronger it makes me. God bless you all.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 20, 2002.

Tricia, it is with sadness I read your post, sensing how close you two were, how much you shared your lives together. Like Gayla, wish I could hug you in person, but glad to know that this lil section of the internet and the connections you have made, will make a difference in your life. We all really do care about one another, in our own special way. Sometimes people in our lives don't always understand that connection, but as long as we do, that's enough. I am sure you can feel the love that is going out to you, during this sad time. We are here for you, for whatever you need dear heart. You need only ask. That is what friends are for: support and love through the difficult times, as well as the happy times. May you find peace in the days ahead, and if there is anything you need, my email is real, and so am I. Know too, that your brother's essence is still with you, in so many ways. And with the rest of the family. Yes the caring and sharing plays an important part of my existence as well. Know you are loved, and well, dear friend! May time lessen your pain as you remember the love you shared with your beloved brother. He will always live in your heart! Much love to you friend.

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), July 21, 2002.

{{hugs}}

I'm so sorry Tricia :-/

Sending well wishes your way.

-- Kritter (kritter@adelphia.old), July 21, 2002.

Tricia: I'm sorry to hear about your big brother. Please continue to picture your FRL friends sitting quietly about waiting to comfort you in any way we can. After the funeral, when you have a little breather, won't you please tell us about your brother? He sounds like someone worth getting to know. XOXO Linda

-- LindaMc (jmcintyre1@cox.net), July 22, 2002.

Oh Trish, I am so sorry to hear about this. So sorry that you will all be lonely for him.....

But I am happy for him....

Sis

-- sis (**whiterotary@netscape.net**), July 22, 2002.

Try to remember the good times with him.

-- L. (long@go.far away), July 22, 2002.

Thanks, all for your caring.

I wrote this the other night, while I couldn't sleep:

I don't remember where we went, or why, nor even when it was. I just remember riding in a car with my brother, both adults. We spoke in generalities and surface chatter until, slowly, we approached basic beliefs and creeds. "I've always thought death is the Great Adventure", he said. "I do not fear it and look forward to its embrace. Not that I'm anxious for it, there's much adventure for me here, yet. But someday, I will get to see beyond death and that is thrilling. I told someone else this before, years ago; and they wanted me to seek psychiatric help, feared that I was suicidal. I'm not, I just think that death will be a good change, not a bad one." Now he knows. Our hearts sink, the large holes he left in them feel lead-filled, but he soars in his knowledge. Have a wonderous adventure, Ed.

.

Life stops suddenly

Heads hang, eyes weep, hearts breaking

Yet with faith, joy soars.

.

Sorrow dims all light

Hope flickers, not extinguished

Flares again, in time

.

Angels glide above

Rainbow hues slide gracefully

Aurora dances.

.

Thanks again.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 24, 2002.

Tricia, I was so sorry to read your sad news. Please accept my sincere condolences. Carol.

-- Carol (carfred@hotmail.com), July 24, 2002.

That was beautiful, Tricia. I hope you got the card.

Carol, I was wondering where you were. :-)

It's about time for our traveling FRLian to return, too.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 25, 2002.

Tricia, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I know you loved him very much.

-- helen (love@you.dearly), July 26, 2002.

Trish, I was sorry to return to your sad news about Ed. It seems he and I share the same philosophy about death. And it makes me really glad for the trip I shared with my two brothers earlier this year.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), July 28, 2002.

Yup, Lon. Every moment with loved ones is a blessing to count. All too often in our society we forget that. I'm glad you had time with your brothers, and for that trip you just got back from, too. I pray you have many more moments to count.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 28, 2002.