marriage after divorcegreenspun.com : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread |
Could you please help me? I was brought up Roman Catholic however after leaving school I seldom attended church. I was married hastely in a registrars office in 1985 (my wife been a protestant and not wanting a church wedding)we had three children but were divorced on the gounds of ireconcilable differences in 1989. I have now met a wonderful woman whom I love very much and wish to marry. But this time I do not want to rush into things. We have known each other for 12mths now (10mths more than I knew my ex before we were married) and I have asked her to marry me. She said yes. my quandry is that we would like a church wedding but she is not catholic, and as I was foolishly married before without the blessing of the church where do we stand. Can we still get married in a Roman Catholic church ?
-- thomas c p lowery (tloweryuk@blueyonder.co.uk), July 09, 2002
Since your first marriage was not in Church (the Catholic Church), there should be no problems there (you may need to recieve the sacrament of reconciliation for years of living and having relations outside of true marriage). However, there may need to be certain things done which I don't know, because your to be wife is not Catholic. My advice would be to talk to your parish priest or pastor.Note: The Church will definitely bless your wedding (if you have it there), but it doesn't guarentee all bubbles and love and flowers, and it won't even guarentee your marriage will last (that is in the books; really your marriage is "till death do you part")! The Catholic Faith shared between BOTH of you on the other hand WILL guarantee your marriage to last, and it may even guarentee a few bubbles and most definitely Love (True Love). So seek not to have your marriage in Church because you think it is a good luck charm to do so. This is a Holy and very serious Sacrament that will effect your life and your immortal soul!
God bless you Thomas, and may he guide you in this most Holy and sacred moment in your life.
In Christ.
-- Jake Huether (jake.huether@lamrc.com), July 09, 2002.
I'm sorry to have to contradict Jake, but you may have some difficulty, Thomas, as the Church considers any marriage valid until proven otherwise; in your case:Catholics are bound to follow Canonical Form when marrying. (I.e. the wedding following the form prescribed by the Church.)
Dispensation from this is possible if a Catholic marries a non-Catholic.Did you formally leave the Church before you first marriage?
If so, you weren't bound by Canonical Form, and the marriage is considered valid.
If you did not, you had to follow Canonical Form, and as you did not, the marriage is likely to be considered void due to lack of Canonical Form.Of course, I may be wrong. Contact your parish priest to find out more. I won't go into the details for a marriage with a non- Catholic...
I'm off to my Canon Law exam. Pray for me...
-- -- (unknown@a.nonymous), July 10, 2002.
Hey Thomas.Do some digging around in the old threads; there's tons of them on this server that address that problem. The question is a popular one.
Good luck.
-- Emerald (emerald1@cox.net), July 10, 2002.
Hello everyone,Glad we are up and running again........Question...
A friend of mine is going to be getting married soon outside the Catholic Church. She was married once in the Catholic Church and divorced.
She still considers herself catholic, but soon to be hubby is not. She wants her future kids to be brought up Catholic.
Is she going to run into any problems with this down the road?
Thanks,
-- Kathy (sorry@nomail.com), July 18, 2002.
KathyI would think it to be an issue to be discussed with a parish priest. He is better qualified to answer this question. It can be problematic from I can see. Each diocese may have slight variations to the rules.
-- Fred Bishop (fcb@heartland.net), July 18, 2002.
Hi, Kathy.You mentioned that your friend was divorced, but you didn't mention two key things:
(1) Whether or not she had received a Decree of Nullity from the Church, and -- assuming the answer is "yes" ...
(2) Whether she got a dispensation from her bishop to be married in a non-Catholic ceremony.If the answers are "yes" and "yes," there will be no problem at all.
If the answers are "yes" and "no," then she is being very foolish and should get the dispensation.
If the answers are "no" and "irrelevant," then she cannot really be called a "practicing Catholic." She will be living an adulterous life and will be a poor role model to her future children. Even so, however, she will not be excommunicated. And when she asks for her children to be baptized as Catholics, the priest will have to consider the circumstances and make a judgment as to whether or not there is a "wellfounded hope that the child will be brought up in the Catholic" faith [Canon Law].
God bless you.
John
-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), July 18, 2002.
Hi John,The answers are no and no.
I told her I have been on this forum learning about cathlocism and though she might encounter some future problems.
She is going to look into a Decree of Nullity. I told her she should go and speak to the priest at her parish.
Thank you JOhn for your response.
P.S. Thanks to you too Fred.
God Bless,
-- Kathy (sorry@nomail.com), July 19, 2002.
Thanks, Kathy. She has a very good friend in you.
JFG
PS: The reason I wrote, "'no' and 'irrelevant,'" is that, since she lacks a Decree of Nullity, she is presumed to be still married -- so she could not even consider asking the bishop to allow her to "re-marry" in a non-Catholic ceremony.
-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), July 19, 2002.
Hi John,When my friend has children she definitly wants them baptised and brought up Catholic.
She is going to come to my house for coffee next week. I told her about the on-line catechism and the on-line Canon Law. I am going to help her look up some answers to her questions before she speaks to her parish priest. She is feeling a little guilty about not having been to church and not knowing much about her religion.
I am hoping that by reading the on-line catechism with her, she will feel a little more comfortable about seeing the priest.
My suggestion to her is to go to confession first, start attending weekly mass again, and then see the priest. Maybe then she won't feel as guilty or embarressed when the time comes to talk to the priest.
May the Lord show kindness to you, as you have to me,
-- Kathy (sorry@nomail.com), July 19, 2002.
Kathy,The only problem with your plan is that unless she remains chaste in her present marriage, she will still not be able to receive the Eucharist (even after confession). The reason is that she has to have her first marriage annulled, then get her current marriage blessed. Unfortunately, in the Church's eyes, she is committing adultery.
The above problem should not stop her from raising her children Catholic and getting them baptized (it will be up to the pastor to decide).
God Bless you and her.
-- Glenn (glenn@excite.com), July 19, 2002.
Hi Glenn,Yes, I realize she will not be able to receive the Eucharist, and I have already told her that. I don't know if she has had relations with her fiance, but the fact that she hasn't been to confession is why I thought she should not receive the Eucharist.
Her problem is that she is embarressed to go the the priest because she has been away from the church for so long. She is feeling guilty because she hasn't been a practicing Catholic.
My feeling is that it is never too late to start going to church again.
I think that if she goes to confession and begins to attend weekly mass again, she may not feel as guilty, ashamed or embarressed to talk to her priest.
Glenn, I am enjoying learning all about Cathlocism. The more I learn, the more I realize how little my Catholic friends know about their religion.
She asked for my help. I feel honored to help point her in the right direction, and with a little help from my friends here on the forum, I know that I can help her.
I should also mention that she asked me what she should do, I just made some suggestions. Whether or not she takes my suggestions is her choice.
Thank you Glenn for your input.
God Bless,
-- Kathy (sorry@nomail.com), July 19, 2002.
Kathy,Just to give her an example of returning to the Sacrament of Reconciliation so she feels comfortable, please tell her my story. My wife and I did attend 99% of Sunday Mass for the past 17 years or so. However, we also did not fully follow the Magisterium's teachings (birth control was the big one - ask JFG for my views 18 months ago!). However, after deciding to rediscover our faith, and realizing we were sinners, we both decided to receive the Sacrament. Trust me, it was very scary to admit all my sins and how long I was away from Reconciliation. However, both of us felt so relieved we both cried in our car afterwards. It was truly a joy to be fully reunited with the Church.
So tell your friend that yes, it is intimidating, but totally worth it.
Again, God Bless both of you.
-- Glenn (glenn@excite.com), July 19, 2002.
Hi Glenn,Thank you for sharing your story with me. I will share it with my friend as well.
My friend suffers from low self-esteem and insecurity issues.....somehow I think she'll find confession to be theraputic (sp?).
Confessing sins, whether to a priest or to the Lord, takes quite a load off the shoulders, don't you think. :-)
May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other...,
-- Kathy (sorry@nomail.com), July 19, 2002.
God hates Divorce....Is Sabbath day... Saturday or Sunday? What does Bible Support? Bible says Saturday is the Sabbath day., If you say Sunday...then you must contact me for further details. Hello Brothers & Sisters in Christ,
My name is Pilla Srinivas. I born on August 03, 1976. I live in India, am Christian, good-looking and single.
God is good all the times. Please pray for me and my family. If you have prayer request...contact me....
My Postal Address:
Pilla Srinivas, Jilellamudi Vari Lane, Eastern Street, Eluru-534001, Andhra Pradesh-India.
Email:
pilla_srinivas@msn.com
-- Pilla Srinivas ( Message for Christians ) (pilla_srinivas@msn.com), July 25, 2002.