I am a recently divorced woman. From the start of my marriage I felt pressured into it for various reasons ( from a dying grandmother, from my fiance, etc.) I never was comfortable with it from the beginning. I guess I always felt that if it didn't work out that I could end it. ( I almost walked away on my wedding day). I have never told anyone any of this about my feelings on that day or before my wedding day, so I'm not sure if I would really have any witnesses. The marriage was verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abusive. My ex-husband was addicted to pornography and degraded me by forcing me to watch it with him. To make a long, long, story short, I want to become Catholic and want to start RCIA classes soon. I really would like to be able to marry again and have a meaningful, sacramental marriage with someone. Is an annulment possible for me?? Thank you in advance.

-- Chris Craig (kysadlbred@aol.com), June 05, 2002

Answers

You might want to ask a couple of pre-curser questions first: If it wasn't a Catholic wedding, then it didn't count in the first place, and you wouldn't need an annulment to Mary in the Catholic Church. If it was Catholic, then I would guess your husband was Catholic (I gathered that from you saying that you want to become a Catholic). However, since he was addicted to porn, I am inclined to assume he was not a "practicing" Catholic. And if he was in a mortal sin during your Catholic wedding ceramony, then it might be that the Matrimony was null to begin with, which is cause for an annulment. Things look pretty bright for you to begin your new Catholic life, unless there is something I missed.

I hope this helps. And I will keep you in my prayers, Chris:)

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake.huether@lamrc.com), June 05, 2002.

Although it is true that Mary is in the Catholic Church, I meant to say "...marry in the Catholic Church."

:)

-- Jake Huether (jake.huether@lamrc.com), June 05, 2002.

Sorry to bring bad news, but Jake might be wrong wrt the validity of a marriage: the Church considers every marriage valid unless the contrary's proven; it doesn't matter whether it's a sacramental union in the Church or not. (Also, the validity of a marriage doesn't depend on whether one of the partners is in a state of mortal sin when entering or not. Exception of course: one of the partners is still married.)

The good news: Chris, you don't need a decree of nullity to start RCIA classes. You can even become a Catholic while you're still married from the Church's POV. Talk to your parish priest about whether a decree of nullity may be granted eventually. If you really "felt pressured into" the marriage, chances are it may be granted.

-- -- (unknown@a.nonymous), June 06, 2002.

Thanks "unknown" for the info. I'm not yet married (going to be shortly) so I don't know ALL the logistics of matrimony. I do know however that for instance a "vegas" wedding would not be concidered valid. I just wanted Chris to check a little deeper before she becomes overwhelmed. Thanks again for the correction.

In Christ.

-- Jake Huether (jake.huether@lamrc.com), June 06, 2002.

Dear Chris Craig,

Welcome to the Catholic family! I'm so pleased at your great act of faith -- realizing that it is God's will for you to enter RCIA and become a Catholic, even in these tough times when the weaknesses and sins of, not just us laity, but also some priests and bishops, are in the limelight. How I admire you!

I just wanted to say that I agree with all the facts and advice given to you by "unknown@a.nonymous." The judges (priests, laity, or both) on your diocese's marriage tribunal will evaluate the evidence that you and others present, if you enter a petition for a Decree of Nullity.

It may help you to read a short list of important facts. It was compiled by a tribunal judge, who prefaced it with these words:
"Valid marriage requires effective consent ceremonially exchanged. At times consent may have been ineffective. The following twenty reasons render consent ineffective and are recognized as grounds for ... nullity, which, if capable of being proven by credible and available testimony, make it possible to declare [that an ostensible] marriage [was actually] null and void. One or more of these reasons must be used in annulment cases that allege the ineffectiveness of marital consent."

And here is the page with the list of reasons.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), June 06, 2002.

OK...I'm not sure if the original question was answered or not, but from reading the inputs available so far, I'm confused. I'm in a similar situation, where I married in a Lutheran Church, even though I was catholic, and divorced 3 years ago and would like to get married again through the catholic church. If the last answer on the validity of the marriage does not depend on the church, then how can one marry in the catholic church if the lutheran church does not have a process of anulment, since by that church's laws, one may re-marry as many times as one wishes?

-- Jose Santos (j1santos@ucsd.edu), June 12, 2002.

Jose,

Your situation is different from the original question in that you were Catholic when you married in the Lutheran church. My guess is you will be granted a decree of nullity dur to lack of canonical form. I assume your marriage was never blessed by the Catholic Church.

You still need to approach a local Catholic priest in order to get your first marriage annulled.

-- Glenn (glenn@excite.com), June 13, 2002.

I have a similar situation as well, but fear of little resolution. I am a divorced non Catholic. I was married in the Catholic church to a Catholic woman. We filed under irreconcilable differences because we are in a no fault state. I wanted a divorce because my ex wife had at least one affair that I can prove. She is supposedly a practicing Catholic and we have two children that attend a Catholic school. I have since met an incredible woman and we are considering marriage in the future. She is very devout never married Catholic and I fear we will never, even with an anulment , be able to marry in the Catholic church. I believe that I am ready to fully convert. Is there hope? Maybe the same answer will work for others.

-- Frank Eberhard (bradybunchgang6@aol.com), September 23, 2003.

Frank, if you receive a Declaration of Nullity from a Catholic marriage tribunal, why would you be unable "to marry in the Catholic Church"?
JFG
PS: The "incredible [Catholic] woman" you have met is not yet permitted to date you (much less to "consider marriage in the future") -- because she is required to acknowledge that you may still be validly married (in God's eyes) to the woman you divorced. If you are genuinely "ready to fully convert" to Catholicism, you can demonstrate this by breaking up or changing your relationship to a platonic one.

-- J. F. Gecik (jfgecik@hotmail.com), September 23, 2003.