What do you WANT/NEED in a relationship?

greenspun.com : LUSENET : A Country Singletree : One Thread

I've thought about this a lot. And as time goes on, I have found these things are very important to me. I am not driven to "settle" for a unhealthy union, to avoid being single. I find that's a good recipe for heartache. I won't "abandon" who I am, or long term goals for a man, or anyone for that matter. I don't think that helps either person grow as individuals, and that is important to me.

So, are there certain things you want or insist on, in a relationship?

Sex, physical appearance? Intellect? Common ground? Religious or political affiliation? Long term, or no strings attached? Monetary security? Sense of humour? Communication, compromise?

What floats your boat? What turns you off?

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), June 02, 2002


WOW,"" long term or no strings? "" Does that count as a relationship or "not being single". IF its a one nighter, then NO !!! , I dont want any strings attached,, rope maybe, but not strings.

But for a L/T relationship,,,, my personnal ad would read,,,

SWM,iso SF, must have a brain. non smoker or willing to quit. Must like to stay home as well as go out occassionaly. Must have an image of time. Looks doesnt matter, as long as YOU think your pretty.

cant wait to read some others

-- Stan (sopal@net-pert.com), June 02, 2002.

Awwww, now that is sweet Stan, "you must think you're beautiful", but it doesn't matter if you are! Girls love that kind of stuff! I guess you ain't all bad, huh? *wink wink*

BTW, I smoke. heh heh.

Now, what do you mean, "must have an image of time"?

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), June 02, 2002.

"image of time" = a thought to the future and not jsut next week/next payday/next weekend ect

-- Stan (sopal@net-pert.com), June 02, 2002.

Stan...I've been happily married for 31 yrs. but I totally agree with Patty and think that was a very sweet thing to say :-)!!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), June 02, 2002.

Happiness "one day at a time", communication, compromise and self identity. And of course, A woman :>)

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), June 02, 2002.

Integrity, soundness, honesty is first! there has to be somesort of attraction but I couldn't tell you what it is. The men I have dated/had relationships with all look so differently. So I'm guessing it isn't looks so much. Kindness to everything! Gentleness, a true Gentle man. There is a huge list I'm sure! These are tops though.

-- Susan in MN (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), June 03, 2002.

What do I want in a relationship? Honesty, common ground other than children, both striving for the same goal would be great. I've been married for 22 years, and even though I still love her, we are growing apart. I have many interest, and can't seem to get her interested in anything, other than soap operas on T.V. It seems like it is a 50/50 relationship, I give, she takes. Things do seem to be getting better though, so I'll hold onto her for awhile and hope things work out. I'm looking for a simpler lifestyle, but right now I'm in the rat race, and financialy dependent on my job to make ends meet. Some day something may happen that will make a drastic change, and then I will see which is what. Maybe I'm just in a midlife crisis. Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent, and or say my thoughts. Dave

-- dave in ohio (dr43147@yahoo.com), June 03, 2002.

Hey vent away if it helps! I'm sorry to hear y'all are going through a rough patch, I hope you can work through it.

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), June 03, 2002.

Geez louise Stan....... you sure know how to melt a gal's butter! I've been married 8 years this month and though we still love each other very much my husband has gone from saying that I am bewitching and the most wonderful thing in his life to not feeling very huggy these days. Makes a gal's morale kinda go down the pooper. At least my goats love me...LOL

-- Alison in NS (aproteau@istar.ca), June 04, 2002.

You know I got to thinking about the, "thinking you are pretty" thing, and it occured to me this would sound totally different coming from a woman...

"He doesn't need to be handsome, just THINK he is." Yikes, that "You're So Vain" song comes to mind! It becomes more than being comfortable and confident in your own skin, visions of aggresive, selfish males spring to mind.

Interesting. I'm wondering how much of that is social stigma, and how much is acual male/female?

-- Patty (SycamoreHollow@aol.com), June 04, 2002.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ