Corinthian League Match 12

16 September 1995, a period of sunshine and happiness as we beat Manchester City 3-1 with 2 from Sir Les and a pen from Beardo.

Player	Status	Pts
Hislop	Started	2
Barton	Started	2
Watson	Substitute	1
Peacock D	Started	2
Howey	Started	2
Beresford	Started	2
Sellars	Substitute	1
Lee	Started	2
Clark	Started	2
Gillespie	Started	2
Beardsley	Started	4
Fox	Substitute	1
Ferdinand	Started	6
Ginola	Started	2

Premiership

Home			Away
Fumblebuck United	3	3	Fatfield Fantoms
Kegsy's Kickabouts	4	2	East Hepple Harriers
Pilgrim's Converts	3	4	Barton's Samba
Real Gone Kid	6	4	Oooarya Oooarya FC
The CosmoStars	1	2	Mortlake Mags
Unreal Whalemeat	5	1	Bokbefok
Wallsend Old Boys	5	5	Brewery Droopers
Yelli's Yobs	3	3	Dynamo Seghill

Division One

Home			Away
Garcia's Missing Finger	4	4	Fife Flyers
MinesaS&N Academicals	2	5	Douglas All Boys
Raphael's Rovers	3	4	Baltimorons
Spayne	4	4	Preston Big End
The SuperTarts	3	4	Minnesota Fatties
Wandering Athletic	4	2	Blaydon Racers
Wark This Way	3	6	Cunning Linguists
Wellfield Wanderers	4	3	Deportivo la Cramlington

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Answers

Tables

Premiership
Team	Manager	Pld	HW	HD	HL	HF	HA	AW	AD	AL	AF	AA	GF	Pts	GD
Brewery Droopers	Pete Miller	12	4	0	0	16	11	5	1	2	30	24	46	28	11
Kegsy's Kickabouts	Kegsy	12	8	4	0	42	34	0	0	0	0	0	42	28	8
Fatfield Fantoms	Pit Bill	12	6	1	3	32	30	1	1	0	5	4	37	23	3
Dynamo Seghill	jonno	12	5	1	0	23	14	1	3	2	16	16	39	22	9
Barton's Samba	Barton	12	2	2	2	15	15	3	2	1	25	17	40	19	8
Fumblebuck United	Galaxy	12	5	4	3	38	31	0	0	0	0	0	38	19	7
Unreal Whalemeat	Josh	12	4	1	2	27	24	2	0	3	18	19	45	19	2
Real Gone Kid	SellElena	12	3	0	0	14	7	2	1	6	26	31	40	16	2
Wallsend Old Boys	Hiro	12	4	2	3	35	35	0	1	2	7	9	42	15	-2
Yelli's Yobs	Yelli	12	3	4	4	35	35	0	0	1	3	4	38	13	-1
Mortlake Mags	Dan	12	0	0	0	0	0	4	1	7	30	40	30	13	-10
Pilgrim's Converts	Pilgrim	12	0	0	1	3	4	3	3	5	31	39	34	12	-9
Bokbefok	Bok	12	1	0	1	5	5	2	2	6	26	32	31	11	-6
Oooarya Oooarya FC	gus	12	0	0	0	0	0	2	4	6	38	43	38	10	-5
The CosmoStars	PeteT	12	1	1	3	8	10	2	0	5	21	28	29	10	-9
East Hepple Harriers	True	12	1	0	7	20	33	2	1	1	12	11	32	10	-12

An away win for Mortlake Mags sees them rocket 5 places up the league as it remains painfully tight at the bottom (insert Finbarr Saundersism of choice here).

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Division 1
Team	Manager	Pld	HW	HD	HL	HF	HA	AW	AD	AL	AF	AA	GF	Pts	GD
Deportivo la Cramlington	Andy	12	4	0	2	20	15	4	1	1	25	17	45	25	13
Wark This Way	Bobby	12	5	2	2	32	33	2	1	0	8	6	40	24	1
Garcia's Missing Finger	Tony Green Jnr	12	7	2	3	41	30	0	0	0	0	0	41	23	11
Minnesota Fatties	Screacher	12	0	0	0	0	0	7	1	4	35	35	35	22	0
Fife Flyers	macbeth	12	4	5	1	31	25	1	1	0	9	7	40	21	8
Cunning Linguists	Kennyboy	12	3	1	0	14	9	3	2	3	29	27	43	21	7
Douglas All Boys	Gibbo	12	3	0	5	23	31	2	1	1	15	12	38	16	-5
Wellfield Wanderers	Softie	12	3	5	3	31	33	0	1	0	2	2	33	15	-2
The SuperTarts	Steph	12	1	1	3	8	18	3	2	2	25	19	33	15	-4
MinesaS&N Academicals	Muzzainoz	12	4	2	6	35	36	0	0	0	0	0	35	14	-1
Wandering Athletic	Paul	12	3	1	3	24	25	1	1	3	13	15	37	14	-3
Baltimorons	Ciara	12	2	1	3	17	17	1	3	2	17	21	34	13	-4
Blaydon Racers	Geordie	12	0	1	1	4	5	3	2	5	31	33	35	12	-3
Spayne	Garcie	12	1	2	0	14	13	2	0	7	15	25	29	11	-9
Preston Big End	Clarky	12	0	0	0	0	0	2	4	6	37	41	37	10	-4
Raphael's Rovers	Nick Raphael	12	0	0	1	3	4	2	3	6	31	33	34	9	-3

Dancing in the streets as Preston Big End climb out of the relegation spot thanks to a desperate draw whilst Raphael's Rovers wish that their longed-for first home fixture could have waited for another week. Plenty of movement in the playoff places as the contenders jockey for position.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Dear League chairperson,

It would appear that you have not received the parcel I addressed to you personally. I will put this down to an error at the Post Office but I'm sure it will have arrived before game 13.

yours,

Eastcopse
Chairmaan
Blaydon Racers

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Apparently Mortlake Mags fans' hid their nerves while waiting for the final whistle with a rousing chorus of new terrace fave, "What's it like to play at home?"

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Have the 'morons finally figured out they need to win to move towards the right end of the table? Will they be back to losing ways by the next match in dogged pursuit of the wrong end of the table? Has anyone found the 'morons' missing defence? Where are my shoes?

Find out next week on....As The Football Turns. *dramatic music into commmercial break*

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Aye, it's party time in Preston Village the neet Softie. We may well finish up in t' Toon to do a lap-dance of honour! ;o{)

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Any idea when the Fatties will get their first home game? Not complaining like, as I doubt we'll do as well as we are away. If this continues, I'll have to rename the bliddy team to Fat @rse.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

Republicans versus Royalists eh Pit Bill! Even Stevens so far! (;o)

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

First home game of the season and I bloody lose.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002

After a severe dressing down from manager KB for loosing away matches , the cunnings show what theyre capable of by trouncing league 2nd pos wark this way 3-6 at their place.

The ban on extra marital sex seem to be working.

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2002

I think I'll give it a try and see if that 'extra sex' idea works with the Big End lads, KB! ;o{)

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2002

Our first draw of the season. A ten goal extravaganza and another valuable away point to keep our traveling fans happy. WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE, SAY WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE!

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2002

Shock home defeat for the People's Players, and an unnecessary blemish on the home record of Wark this Way. Admonishment and harsh words will be heard on the training ground in the morning!

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2002

Whats a home game Nick?

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2002