Dunno if this has already appeared up here but it made me chuckle. Apologies in advance for crap formatting etc etc

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: > * You have two cows. > * You sell one and buy a bull. > * Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. > * You sell them and retire on the income. > > AMERICAN CAPITALISM > * You have two cows. > * You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using > letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute > a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all > four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. > * The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary > to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who > sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. > * The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option > on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, > leaving you with nine cows. > * No balance sheet provided with the release. > * The public buys your bull. > > AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: > * You have two cows. > * You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. > * You are surprised when the cow drops dead. > > A FRENCH CORPORATION: > * You have two cows. > * You go on strike because you want three cows. > > A JAPANESE CORPORATION: > * You have two cows. > * You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow > and produce 20 times the milk > * You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market > them worldwide. > > A GERMAN CORPORATION: > * You have two cows. > * You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, > and milk themselves. > > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: > * You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. > * You break for lunch. > > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: > * You have two cows. > * You count them and learn you have five cows. > * You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. > * You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. > * You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. > > A SWISS CORPORATION: > * You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. > * You charge others for storing them. > > A CHINESE CORPORATION: > * You have two cows. > * You have 300 people milking them. > * You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the > newsman who reported the numbers. > > A BRITISH CORPORATION: > * You have two cows. > * Both are mad.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2002