>> > > > >> > Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around >>in pain on >> > the ground? >> > > A. Shoot him again. >> > > >> > > Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? >> > > A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his >>neck and the >> > noose. >> > > >> > > Q. Why do little boys whine? >> > > A. Because they're practicing to be men. >> > > >> > > Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? >> > > A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to >>revolve >> > around him. OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to >>listen to him >> > brag about the screwing part. >> > > >> > > Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? >> > > A. Trustworthy. >> > > >> > > Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for >>breath and >> > calling your name? >> > > A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. >> > > >> > > Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? >> > > A. Because not one will stop and ask directions. >> > > >> > > Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after >>mating? >> > > A. To stop the snoring before it starts. >> > > >> > > Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? >> > > A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. >> > > >> > > Q: What is the difference between men and women... >> > > A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. >> > > A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. >> > > >> > > Q: How does a man keep his youth? >> > > A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. >> > > >> > > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? >> > > A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" >> > > >> > > Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their >>day!! >> > > And send this to five bright men who have the sense of humour >>to find >> > this funny! >> > > >> > > P.S. AT LEAST FINDING 5 BRIGHT WOMEN MIGHT BE POSSIBLE >> > > >> > >> > > > >

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Answers

Welcome Maureen.... not bitter are you?

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Mildy amusing, I suppose Maureen ;-)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

wouldn't mildly be overstating it pete? Shouldn't you be out and about scoping out new talent (aside from the local bar scene)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

You can get an instruction manual on HTML formatting from lots of places Maureen ...

Isn't it marvellous that that your words can be so quickly - erm disseminated, by the use of telephone and internet technology, those wonderful male inventions.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

What's the matter Maureen. run out of ironing? If so, shouldn't you be getting the tea ready?

What is the feminine equivalent of a misogynist by the way?

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Anyone for another injection of testosterone?? Poor gal's awnly tryin to make some new mates

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Quite an entrance there Maureen! Welcome! Have you been `lurking`? Or have you just found out about our happy band? (:o)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Christ Nick, some of us don't know what the male equivalent of misogynist is.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

My sister's called Maureen. It's not you, is it? 'Cos if it is I'll have to find another BBS.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Why, Terry? What did you do to your sister that's turned her off men? ;-)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Ooh err! Just had a thought - anyone on here got a wife called Maureen? Cos I think you are in deep sh!t. (:oO

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Galaxy, only bloke I knew called Munroe was Matt. And he's dead. Maybe Maureen killed him.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Well......as a fellow lurker, it appears we also have Canada in common. Sympatico is one of the telco ISP's - Bell Canada I think, which would probably put young Mo in Ontario

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

So unless Sis emigrated, it ain't her. So I can stay on this BBS.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Not sure about the one 'What do you call a handcuffed man'. I can't see why they would be trustworthy. I would have thought that most men wearing handcuffs were being exactly the opposite. And that's not taking into account the criminal element either :-P

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

There isn't a female equivalent of misogynist.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Iain - are you a first time poster, or have I just not been following the BBS closely enough? If you are not a newcomer, sorry I missed your arrival - if you are, well, welcome to you too! (:o)

And on the subject, any more of you out there who haven`t plucked up the courage to take the plunge? The more the merrier you know! (:o)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Galaxy, I'm a regular lurker, but a VERY occassional poster. I am usually following the match threads along with the webcasts - but the one match where I joined in was West Ham away!! I took personal responsibility for that debacle and haven't contributed to one since!

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Flippin' 'eck. First sign of a new fella on here and Gal's straight in. Pete away for the week, is he??

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Screacher! What are you suggesting! (;o)

Iain, don`t let the W Ham match put you off, I hope you will contribute more often now.............and, err......are you married? (;o)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Sorry Iain - only pulling your leg - but in hindsight thought I might also scare you off completely! Anyway, you`re safe - I am very married and very old. (:o) Welcome aboard!

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Hey Galaxy, Don't forget that I AM a lurker - who may just happen to have an unsavoury fondness for British Shorthairs!! Don't try & change your mind now!!!

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Well you`ve certainly not missed much on here! (:o)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Linda, there is a female equivalent. It's a misandrist (a person who hates persons of the male sex), a rare word but seemingly much sought-after. The corresponding noun for the attitude is misandry.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2002