My brother has been in an abusive relationship for 20 years. She is an alcoholic and drug abuser. I have a hard time understanding why he stays. Perhaps you can help me understand.

He has just recently asked for help. He sent for the brochure 6 weeks ago (has not received it yet). He is beginning to say things like "he can't take it anymore and needs out" How can I help him? What can I say? How can I get that brochure here fast? ANy info anyone can give would be helpful. thanks

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Answers

Hi Sharon: this is my first time on this discussion; so I don't know about the brochure. But I would sure try to get him someone to talk to right away - like a pastor, even if he doesn't attend church or try your phone book for a hotline about domestic violence. If you don't see any helpful numbers, just call your local librarian - they can help you locate someone to call. I pray that you will find just the right person to talk to your brother. Cynthia

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002

Hi: I feel for your brother. If you can locate an independent or work supplied councillor it would really help. The only draw back is finding one that believes women can abuse. Don't let that stop you. Good luck. Ron (John #1 in the stories)

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2002

Why waste time with that stuff? All he has to do is leave and never have contact with her again. Yes it's that simple.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2002

I am new to this site but I can relate to domestic violene and alcoholism from being in an abusive relationship for many years. Its over now and im in the lifelong process of recovering from it. I read a book that basically saved my sanity and I can recomend it as pretty much essential reading. its called -- Getting them sober --by Toby Rice Drews. there are at least 3 volumes to this set Its a very gentle caring book and explains the cycles of abuse, why , how come, and how to handle things in a way that will actually work, Ive never read a book where the author knew and understood the crazyness and insanity so well. It covers such a wide variety of topics those involved with the crazyness will benifit from emmencely. chapters include things like, Hide the car keys? and dont get scared when he (she) threatens to drink. Its in paperback, not expensive and you can get it at just about any book store. Like I said I couldent recomend this book more. It WILL help

Getting out is not easy - Staying isnt eather --Sumr--

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2002

I hope your brother finds the help he needs.

-- Anonymous, May 24, 2002