From football unlimited:

Leeds United have become embroiled in another race-relations disaster after hiring "comedian" Stan Boardman to entertain at an official club dinner.

According to a report in today's Daily Mirror, Boardman made light of the recent assault trial involving Jonathan Woodgate and Lee Bowyer, quipping: "I see Woodgate and Bowyer are here tonight.

"I hear they went out to a club last night. When they came out, one said to the other: 'I could murder an Indian.'"

Asian student Sarfraz Najeib was viciously assaulted by a group of men in Leeds city centre two years ago. The two Leeds players were tried for the assault, with Woodgate being found guilty of affray. Bowyer was found not guilty of any charges.

The 61-year-old Liverpudlian stand-up also became involved in an incident with club member Steven Thomas, who called Boardman's act "a disgrace". Thomas, an Asian, was told: "Fucking hell, I'm being heckled by Pakis now.

"Why don't you go back to your curry house or shop in Bradford? Your elephant's waiting outside."

The 700-strong audience at the dinner, held in honour of Leeds player-of-the-year Rio Ferdinand, are said to have sat in embarrassed silence as the exchange took place.

Boardman also reportedly offended Gary Kelly, Ian Harte, Robbie Keane and Stephen McPhail with a "stream of anti-Irish jokes".

Thomas later told the Mirror that Boardman's performance was predictable. "It was tired old racist humour," he said, "but shockingly inappropriate."

However, the "comic", who made his name in the late 70s by telling topical jokes about the second world war, was unrepentant. "I don't know what all the fuss is about," he told the Mirror.

"This Indian guy heckled me so I heckled him back. He called out at me 'Sing, sing' and I said 'Is that your name, Singh?'

"He insulted me by telling me to go back to Liverpool, so I told him to go back home and told him his elephant was waiting.

"If I am heckled, I'll respond no matter who that person is."

The club have said the comedian's £4,000 fee is "under review". A spokesperson said: "The club is embarrassed and appalled by Stan Boardman's performance."

Boardman's appearance at the awards is seen as another unacceptable gaffe by Leeds in the wake of the Najieb affair. The club continued to play both Woodgate and Bowyer during the controversial trials, and according to the victim's family, failed to express their sympathy with the victim at any point during proceedings.

Leeds were also made to look foolish when, after standing by Bowyer during the trial, they landed a heavy fine on the player in the wake of his not guilty verdict, a move which led to the player tabling a transfer request which was later withdrawn.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

Answers

Frow what I remeber of Stan "they bombed our chippy' Boardman, Leeds have got exactly the sort of comic they seem to have wanted. Short of hiring Bernard Manning they could'nt have made how the feel plainer.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

I remember going on holiday to Jersey with my folks years back. Boardman was playing a local club and we went to see him. He started on the "geermans" and chip shops and asked if there were any in. Of course there was. To be honest it was really quite embarassing to hear the kind of monotonous neo-racist crap that night. Wasn't even funny. This man has made a career of saying 'geermans' in 'scouserese'. Poor.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

The scary thing is he keeps on being invited back, so someone must like him and his sense of 'humour'.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

Can I just say - NUFC need to look at the 'comedians' they hire in their pre-match hospitality suites. I mentioned on here earlier this year that a friend was a guest of the match sponsor at one of our games at SJP. The pre-match entertainment included a local comedian (dunno who) who made lots of 'jokes' about Africa, black people etc etc. My mate was pretty offended. Don't know what Dyer/JJ/Distin/Bernard etc etc would have thought if they knew.

Not quite as bad as the Boardman incident but not really sending out the right message to NUFC supporters.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

While Hall Jr. is with the club we have no chance. I have heard reliable reports of his drunken, cocaine-addled (err.. allegedly) racism offending not just fans at certain events but also scuppering more than one signing of black players where all was well until they met him.

The man's an arse.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

Fortunately I have no danger of ever finding out what goes on in hospitality suites. I go to SJP to watch football, I go to pubs for beer, I go to eateries for food and I go to comedy clubs for laughs.

-- Anonymous, May 03, 2002

Comedy Clubs for laughs? - That would presumably include SAFC!

-- Anonymous, May 03, 2002

Woops!

This made me laugh.

-- Anonymous, May 03, 2002

Careful Pilgrim! WWIII has already broken out on another thread.

-- Anonymous, May 03, 2002