May I be the first to say

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Welcome back?

-- Anonymous, May 01, 2002

Answers

Applause Please

-- Anonymous, May 01, 2002

Thank you

-- Anonymous, May 01, 2002

Was that the longest yet?

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

And I thought it was me!!!

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

Thank God. It's only us lot who tolerate each other's mad ramblings I think. Have to have an outlet somewhere!

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002


Ah yes. Mad ramblings. We're going to have to have a few of those if things aren't to go too dead in the close season. I had a moment of enlightenment on the way to the tube this morning. All the worlds wars and conflict could be radically reduced if life expectancy can increased. Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Everyone mellows with age. The average age of the population has been increasing in the western world. So have the number of wars. So a solution to the Middle East problem would be to artificially increase the standard of living and health care, thus increasing life expectancy, and the average testosterone levels in the population will fall, making conflict less likely. Now to rid the world of all known diseases...hmm..let me think a bit. ;-)

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

Well, as I recall from an old Blue Peter programme, the idea is that you become a doctor, and then discover a cure for all these nasty diseases and then jolly well let the whole world know about it, so that everybody can be cured.

Actually that wasn't exactly Blue Peter but Monty Python extracting the urinary fluid from that same programme. Ah well, nice idea I suppose.



-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

Alan: Hello children!
Jackie: Hello!
GC: Hello!
Alan: Well, last week we showed you how to be a gynaecologist, and this week on "How to do it", we're gonna learn how to play the flute, how to split the atom, how to construct box-girder bridges...
Jackie: Super!
Alan: ...and how to irrigate the Sahara and make vast new areas cultivatable, but first here's Jackie to tell you how to rid the world of all known diseases.
Jackie: Hello Alan!
Alan: Hello Jackie!
Jackie: Well first of all, become a doctor and discover a marvellous cure for something and then, when the medical world really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right, so that there'll never be diseases anymore.
Alan: Thanks Jackie, that was great!
GC: Fantastic!
Alan: Now, how to play the flute. Well, you blow in one end and move your fingers up and down the outside.
GC: Great Alan! Well, next week we'll be showing you how black and white people can live together in peace and harmony and Alan will be over in Moscow showing you how to reconcile the Russians and the Chinese. Till then, cheerio!
Alan: Bye!
Jackie: Bye bye!
GC: Bye!


-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

I've been waiting for the next programme for ages. I always wanted to know how to build a box girder bridge.

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002

lol Pete. I think it was something about jolly well getting hold of some box girders or something ...

-- Anonymous, May 02, 2002


Thanks gus, how did you know I was back?

;-)

My Canadian partner was mugged in Cape Town like :-(

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2002


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