A friend of mine was married in the Catholic church. Both were practicing Catholics. The marriage lasted 15 years and produced 2 sons. The husband committed adultery and they have been divorced almost 11 years. Neither one has remarried. The wife recently petitioned for an anullment because she wants to remarry in the Church. He has no objection to this but is choosing not to participate in the process. He feels that she will get the anullment no matter what he has to say since he was at fault for the breakup of the marriage. He can still recieves the sacrements even though he is divorced, since he has not remarried. He also participates in his children's religious lives. He is convinced that if the anullment is granted, he will lose all his religious rights. He wants his wife to have the anullment so that she can marry again in the church, but he claims that since he was at fault in the divorce he will also be found at fault in the anullment. He believes that will make him no longer a Catholic in good standing. He says that he will then no longer be able to recieve the sacrements, attend Mass with his children, or even light a candle in the Church. He claims that his name will be removed from his children's baptismal records, he will no longer be able to be a godfather to his future grandchildren, or even a sponsor in the church. He says that he knows several people who went through it and that's what happened to them. He spoke briefly to a deacon of the church but got no answers. He says that the deacon told him that if he does not participate in the anullment process and it is granted, the wife will be free to marry again in the church but he will not, until he petitions for and recieves his own anullment. I have repeatedly told him that none of these things are true, but he will not listen to me since I am not a Catholic. I have researched this subject for many hours, and can find nothing in black and white to convince him otherwise. He is agonizing over this and is even talking about leaving the church now rather than wait until he has all his rights taken away. I have told him that since he is now a Catholic in good standing, that will not change. The only thing that will change is that he will be able to marry again in the church if he should choose to do so. Please tell me that none of these things are true, so that I can convince him that he doesn't have to leave the religion that he has been a part of all his life. Thank you for any information and help that you can give me. Thaya

-- thaya mcniven (thayaruth@aol.com), April 24, 2002

Answers

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

I don't have the answers you are looking for, but I am sure there are people here who do. However, I have a question for you and this is not a "judgemental" question. I am not judging someone else's sins, I have enough of my own. But, your friend says he is a catholic in good standing and yet has committed adultrey. Is that possible, and if so, how is that possible? Is it because he confessed his sin of adultrey and was given absolution? I am just curious.

-- marylu (mlc327@juno.com), April 24, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

You mean confessions video tape and then sell back to the public ? You know, I will find it very hard to have a church that has no priest and that's what exactly what's going to happen, if these evil laws are not abolish.

-- Tony (awalker@teknett.com), April 24, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Thaya,

To my knowledge, the only thing that an annulment ruling will do is officially recognize that a marriage was not valid. Regarding his status as a practicing Catholic, none of his concerns will occur--he will be able to receive the sacraments, attend church, light a candle, etc.

An offical annulment simply means that the sacramental nature of his first marriage did not exist. His children's status won't change--they are still his children. The only change will be that he will be able to marry in the future if he chooses.

If he believes that the conditions at the time of his wedding were not validly met, he should support his wife in going through the process of the annulment. If he is not sure of the validity of his marriage, he should still talk with a priest who can educate him on what the process is. A priest can also help him understand that his fears are unfounded.

Does anyone here who has gone through the process have more input?

My simple advice for him:

1) Ask a priest to help him understand the details of the annulment process.

2) Act honestly.

3) Have faith.

Your friend is in my prayers.

In Christ,

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Is adultrey a forgiveable sin in the Catholic Church? Can one receive absolutionin the confessional after committing such a grievious sin, after all, "Do Not Commit Adultrey" is one of God's Ten Commandments?

How can one be a catholic in good standing after having committed such a serious sin? M

-- Michelle (MsMMegs@ao.com), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Christ did forgive the adultress in the Scriptures and asked her to sin no more. That is simple to understand. Yes, Confession is the route. First you need to be honest in your intentions.

-- Fred Bishop (fcbishop@globaleyes.net), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Michelle,

According to the Bible:

Matthew 12:31,32 Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. And whoever says a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come."

God forgives all sin, including adultery. We must ask God for forgiveness. In asking for forgiveness, an act of contrition prayer lays out some corrolary conditions:

1) "I will do penance." I will counter my sinful behavior with prayer, alms, and/or fasting (something Biblical).

2) "I will sin no more." If I ask for forgiveness, I cannot simultaneously plan to sin again. If I do, how could I honestly regret my previous sin?

3) "I will avoid whatever leads me to sin." If you don't want to get burned, don't step into the fire. If I know that a situation causes me to sin, I should avoid that situation if possible.

If I live with a habit of serious sin (for example, I live and maintain a physical relationship with someone whom I'm not married to), asking forgiveness must be accompanied by an attempt to reject that sinful lifestyle immediately.

May God bless you,

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Ummm, hello, adultery only applies if you married, it has nothing to do with sex itself.

-- Tony (awalker@teknett.com), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

TONY

Read -- that is precisely what is being discussed here.

-- Fred Bishop (fcbishop@globaleyes.net), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Tony:
All sins of the flesh have an aspect of adultery in them, from a moral point of view. Even masturbation, and impure thought deliberately entertained by the thinker. Any impure act whether by man or by woman breaks the 7th commandment. Furthermore, you don't have to be a married man to be in adultery. If you sin with somebody who's married, it's adultery just the same; even with a divorcee. You ought to get all your little ducks in a row, Son, before getting loud around here.

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

I still stand that adultery only has to do with marriage, I recall alot of sex slaves in the bible. I already know masterbation is a sin, society was actially dumb enough to pass a law against it, heck, they even try to prevent erections in little boys by putting spikes around there penias, they chain little girls to the bed and even hit there dog "as in pet" for licking it's crotch. If it's a sin then fine, but don't be passing your moral laws against it.

-- Tony (awalker@teknett.com), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

God has made all the moral law, Tony. You aren't teaching anybody anything. Before you can try to do that, you at least have to be coherent.

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

In case it would help you, Thaya, to have another concurring opinion, you have mine.
Everything that Mateo told you, and everything that you told your confused friend is correct. I am embarrassed that a fellow Catholic could have had such wrong ideas. I am embarrassed that a deacon wrongly told him that he himself would have to petition later for a Decree of Nullity. By contrast, I am impressed at your knowledge and at your love, expressed in doing hours of research and in taking the trouble to ask us about this.

If your friend will not accept our word and will not visit his pastor to discuss this -- but would accept an official diocesan explanation that he could read at leisure on the Internet, please let me know.

God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), April 25, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

eugene, they are moral laws for anyone who is faithfull and follows the teaching of the bible, it still doesn't make right to enforce it on others, by the way, the bible may become outlaw in europe, funny how people want to do something about prejudice, comes back and bite them on there own arse.

-- Tony (awalker@teknett.com), April 26, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Tony

What are you? Brain dead? The Bible will never die. It is stronger tan any man, any nation, any force that mankind has or has not seen yet. Look at the past and you shall see. GOD is here forever even when man declines to exist. Remember his words, "I am, the Alpha and the Omega".

-- Fred Bishop (fcbishop@globaleyes.net), April 26, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Tony has a problem. He makes the right statement, only it comes out upside-down. Dislexia of the frontal lobe. He sings a song to himself;

''Rather have bottle infronta me,
Than a frontal lobotomy. . .'' Lol!

-- eugene c. chavez (chavezec@pacbell.net), April 26, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my questions. You've been very helpful, especially Mateo and John. Yes, my friend did confess his sins to a priest and was granted absolution. Are there any people out there who have been through an anullment and know first hand what the possible repercussions are, if any? Thank you for being so kind. God bless you all, Thaya

-- thaya mcniven (thayaruth@aol.com), April 27, 2002.

Response to Will a person's religious rights be taken away by the church if found at fault in an anullment?

No, I'm serious, they say that the bible may be outlaw in UK because it incourage prejudice, I could find you the story if you want.

-- Tony (awalker@teknett.com), May 04, 2002.