Retarded brother believed dead, now found alive Family held funeral after nursing home misidentified dead man

Patty Hutchens - Correspondent

SANDPOINT _ When Mary Strickley walked into the nursing home, her heart raced with anticipation.

She was about to meet her brother for the first time. A brother she thought died 30 years ago.

"It was like the feeling you get as a child when you cannot wait to open your Christmas gifts," Strickley said.

She and her husband, Paul, instantly noticed the lighthouse mobile dangling above her brother Eddie's bed. And then the wallpaper border decorated in lighthouses. Lighthouses just like the ones that Mary and Paul had collected for years.

Without a word, the Sandpoint couple looked at each other and started laughing and crying. They knew everything would be OK. The lighthouses were a sign that God had watched over Eddie all those years when his family could not.

Strickley's family was told in 1972 that her brother, Eddie Barnes, had died. Just 7 years old at the time, Strickley's only memory of her developmentally and physically disabled brother was of sitting in a pew at his funeral. She cried as she watched the white casket that supposedly held her brother's body.

"I always said that when I die, Eddie was the first person I want to meet," Strickley said. "I had such a curiosity about him."

Then last October, she got a phone call from a family member. Eddie was alive. At the time of his supposed death 30 years ago, Eddie lived in a nursing home. His file was inexplicably switched with that of another boy who lived at the same home.

An explanation of the switch has eluded both families.

According to Gary Granger, who runs the home now, most of the people involved have either died or claim to have no recollection.

"There is not even a single staff person here now who was here at that time," said Granger, owner of Granger Group Home in Toledo, Ohio.

What is known is that the boy who died was actually another Eddie -- Eddie Schabbing. The boys were the same age and were strikingly similar in appearance.

Eddie Barnes, now 42 and disabled since birth, was cared for by his family until he was 6. With his seizures and other medical problems, an ambulance was at the family's home sometimes four to five times a week.

With five other children to care for, Mary's parents took the advice of Eddie's doctor and transferred him to a state hospital in Lima, Ohio. From there he was transferred to a state institution.

Eddie Schabbing also resided in that institution. Then, within a month of each other, they were both transferred to the same private nursing home in Toledo.

When Eddie Schabbing died, the nursing home mistakenly identified him as Eddie Barnes. Strickley's father even identified the body as that of his son. How her father made such a mistake will never be determined as he died a few years ago.

Eddie Schabbing's family has spent the last 30 years trying to uncover the truth. His mother, Marianne Schabbing-Webb, knew the boy still alive in the nursing home was not her son.

She filed a wrongful death suit against the owner of the nursing home, claiming it was really her son who had died and that the nursing home concealed his death from her. But because she could not produce a body, the case was dismissed.

The dismissal was later overturned. But, after running out of energy and money, she agreed to an out-of-court settlement of just $750.

FOX News in Cleveland first made the story public a few months ago. The station is doing a three-segment report on the case of mistaken identity.

Before Eddie Schabbing's mother died in 1999, she told her daughter, June Drake, that she knew the boy in the nursing home was not her son. She asked her to investigate it and find the answer.

In her search, Drake discovered that there was another Eddie, Eddie Barnes, who lived at the home the same time as her brother. She was shocked when she learned he still resided there nearly 30 years later, under the name of Eddie Schabbing.

When Drake went to Eddie's court-appointed guardian, Teri Derry, in January 2001, social workers were skeptical. But when a DNA test showed only a 0.3 percent chance that the Eddie in the home and Drake were family, they knew they had to help her. They, along with FOX News, have assisted Drake in her quest to find the truth.

Through public records they located Mary Strickley's brother, Gaylord, who lives in Phoenix.

At first Gaylord believed it to be an awful prank. Then the reporter gave what Gaylord believed was credible information. When he learned it could be possible his brother was still alive, he broke down and sobbed.

The Barnes family agreed to submit to a DNA test last fall. The result was 99.997 percent likelihood that they were family.

It was then that Mary and her family learned the man in the nursing home in Ohio was Eddie. Their Eddie.

He had not had a visitor in 30 years. After all, his family thought he had died, and Eddie Schabbing's family knew he was not related to them.

After hearing the news that Eddie was still alive, Strickley was joyful, but also angry for the pain this mistake brought to those she loved, including Eddie. She remembers watching her mother sit for hours in a rocking chair crying for the son she had lost.

Strickley thought of her own two boys. She could only imagine the pain her mother felt all those years. Her mother is now in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's disease.

"The one thing that brought the biggest tear to my eye was knowing Mary's mother will never know the truth," Paul Strickley said.

Mary's sister, Evelyn Bodett, told FOX News that her parents truly believed they had buried their son in 1972.

"The Mass we had for Eddie was called the Mass of Angels," she said. "My mother believed she had an angel for her son. She said the only regret that she had in life was Eddie and that she could not be his mom."

Mary and some of her siblings have no real memory of Eddie. He left home when Mary was 1 year old. The nursing home he lived in did not allow visitors under age 13. Her older siblings anticipated the day they could go see Eddie.

"As a little girl, I remember that I just could not wait to meet him," said Evelyn.

As for Drake, she felt not only her own pain, but also that of the Barnes family. After confirming through DNA testing that Eddie was not her brother, she visited him. She knew he had not had a visitor in years. She brought him Christmas gifts and wondered about his family.

In early March, it was Mary's turn for a reunion. She and Paul made their journey to Ohio.

"All I could think of the whole plane ride was that I can't wait to go hold his hand, look him in the eye and tell him I am his sister," said Mary as her own eyes filled with tears.

When Mary first saw Eddie, she was amazed at how much he looked like the rest of her family. She approached him slowly and knelt down in front of his wheelchair. She held his hand.

"At that moment we held each other's gaze," she says. "I swear he was able to make a connection with me because he actually smiled at me. There was a spark of recognition and then he took his hand and put it on top of mine."

Linda Whetsel is a social worker who has worked with Eddie for the past several years. She witnessed the reunion of Eddie and Mary. She's not sure how much Eddie was able to understand, but she said he knew it was a big moment.

"He reached out and touched her and he made a connection," said Whetsel. "It is wonderful that he is going to have family now. This will enrich his life in a lot of ways and probably in ways I don't even know."

Mary Strickley was overjoyed watching Eddie interact with his caregivers. He's in a place he has called home for 30 years, and it's clear that these people had become his family.

Stickley's four other siblings live in different areas of the country. While they would all love to have Eddie close to them, they think it is best that he remain where he is. One brother lives nearby and can visit Eddie more than the others.

For the first few months after learning Eddie was alive, Strickley was full of anger for having been robbed of her brother for 30 years. But the minute she held Eddie's hand, it all changed.

"There is no sense in trying to blame someone," she said. "The person currently running the home was 12 years old when this whole mix-up occurred. Why hold him responsible?"

So instead of casting blame, Strickley is rejoicing.

On her final visit with her brother before returning home, Eddie leaned back in his wheelchair and looked at his sister. She caressed his head.

"I told him he is God's angel and we will always be there for him. I told him we will be back to see him and to remember that God loves him and he is God's child," she said.

As she spoke those words, she saw a peace come over him. And now, after all these years, her heart is whole again.

"Eddie is our lighthouse."

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2002

Answers

Wow! What an awful mix-up! Glad to hear he will have visitors again after all these years.

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2002

My younger brother died when he was eight years old. I had nightmares for years that we discovered him alive, that we had abandoned him by mistake thinking he was dead. I can't even imagine what this family is going through. And I'm afraid I'll have the nightmares again now.

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2002

((((Helen))))) I understand your feelings.

I saw this story air last fall, and the update is the sister DOES go visit him often..but really, how horrible.

I was adopted and I used to think I was lost and would be found... (NOT)!!! I hope you don;t have nightmares.

-- Anonymous, April 22, 2002

Weird things happen in Ohio.

-- Anonymous, April 23, 2002

I guess I'm a big girl now. No nightmares. Just awfully, deeply sad about it them, about us.

-- Anonymous, April 23, 2002