With all the recent media coverage of the chaos in the Middle-East and the lingering sense of insecurity which lay in wake of the terrorist attacks of last September, I suppose it was only a matter of time until a self-defining question such as this should make an appearance on this message board :Who do you think would win in the event of a war between the Smurfs and the Gummybears?

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2002

Answers

I've been pondering this one myself, but was simply too chicken to ask the rest of the world. As with regular warfare, I think this one might come down to allies. As both the Smurfs and the Gummybears are happy-go-lucky and peaceful people (animals? things?) it might be up to their stronger and crueler friends to take things over. The Gummybears could get Gargamel on their side without much trouble. He's been battling the Smurfs for years. Unfortunately, he and Asriel have been proving themselves inept that entire time. Their success has been limited at best, and there's no reason to believe that a pep talk from the Gummybears could turn things around.

The Smurfs, on the other hands, are some of the most industrious little mofos out there. While there might not be a Battlemaster Smurf, they have inventors, philosophers and the like. Not to mention Smurfette, who is the ultimate USO girl, out there to keep morale where it should be. Think of her as the Marilyn Monroe of Smurf Village. And when it comes down to allies, the Smurfs clearly have the advantage. They're friends with the prince! (And his flute- playing sidekick, Johann, but that doesn't do them much good.) The prince must be prince of something, and that something surely has a royal army.

The Smurfs would definitely win.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2002

I agree with Captain Jackson. I tend to believe that if Gargamel and Asriel joined forces with the Gummybears, they'd end up double- crossing them and eating all the little Gummybears and drinking all their gummyberry juice. Since Gargamel and Asriel are bigger than the bears, and therefore have a larger stride, they would be able to "out-bounce" the bears and gobble them up in no time.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2002