My mom and other extended family members have already predicted that I'm going to be an old maid, who carries out her motherly wants by being an RN in labor & delivery (or in the pediatric unit). Isn't that the saddest thing? Jaimee and I have joked that we're going to be two old women in gree pea coats who shop together late at night at Safeway, buying 80 cans of cat food. Do you think we're going to be old maids? Do you think you'll be an old maid/old bachelor?

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2002

Answers

I honestly hope I don't become an old maid. More than anything, I'd like to be married and have some kids to make dorky costumes for, take to Disneyland, and watch grow up to be happy little people that look like me and my husband. But since my family has said it, it must be so. A lot of my cousins ended up marrying their first or second boyfriend, and since I'm past that mark already, I guess I'm out of the game in their eyes.

I don't think Jaimee will be an old maid. For one thing, she's a hot babe who has guys wanting her digits at every corner. She's Boobs Jackson, after all! I think Jaimee will get married -- nay, I KNOW she'll get married -- and have cute little smart babies that will love me because I'm so cool. Jaimee's got a lot of her "steps" completed, so I think she's on a good track to marital bliss, provided she doesn't become a grouchy cow after she gets engaged. (That grouchy cow comment goes out to all you women out there. Don't be Bridezillas, either!)

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2002

Today when I talked to Jenn, we were talking about marriage and the like. Turns out that after eight years, my mom is turning around and starting to like Richard (Jenn's husband) a little. Her reason? "I'm only going to have two. I might as well like them." She told Jenn that she has given up on me. She thinks I'm not the marrying kind.

She's right in one sense. I won't make any promises that I will get married. If I never find the right person, than I never will. I don't want to get married just to be married. I want to get married if and only if I know that I am committing myself to the perfect person. I refuse to settle, which (given her four marriages) she clearly wouldn't understand.

But you know, even if I never do get married, I guess that's okay. I would like the kind of life where I wake up happy to see the same person every day, and we know everything about each other, and finish each other's sentences, and have children together and slow dance in the kitchen after we put them to bed. But at the same time, if it's not right, it's not right. I'm willing to accept whatever comes my way, even if it's spinsterhood.

Then again, even if I never get married, I will still have a child. So I won't be a true spinster.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2002

My mom still holds out a candle of hope for me that I'll find a nice boy and get married, but I think she doesn't really see that happening, for whatever reason. Maybe it's because I don't wear jewelry. She's always trying to make me wear jewelry and make-up.

I don't want to get married for the sake of getting married either. I went out with a boy simply because he asked me, and it wasn't very fun. I just felt like I was being left out of the game, and once I got in, found out that the game wasn't very exciting if you didn't like your teammate. (Did that make sense?) I don't ever want to be divorced, so I know that if I marry, it has to be with someone I really love and am willing to make sacrifices for, if need be. If you ask me to marry you and I accept, you're basically stuck with me and my crazy antics FOREVER, so whomever I marry better be prepared for that too.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2002

If I ever become an old maid, would you think any less of me if I were to try and cash in on Robin Williams' success as Ms. Doubtfire and bring out a sequel?....

I don't know about myself becoming an old bachelor, but my older brother is well on his way there, I'd have to say. He spent the day over here yesterday and today and shared some of his latest dating experinces. They reminded me all too much of those relationships seen on the classic episodes of Seinfeld as I listened to him relate his own recent experiences with not only "man hands" but also "man FEET"(quite an entertaining story of him actually sneaking her shoes into his room with the door closed and trying them on only to confirm his fears that yes, her feet were bigger than his!...), and the girl with "too much gums cleavage"(aka 'The Horse Lady'). I love my brother like a.....brother, and I really get a kick out of hearing his dating tales, but at the same time I feel bad for him because he's way too picky and judgmental of those girls he dates. If he keeps this up, he's definite "Old Bachelor" material.

Did I really even answer that question here? I thought I was but I lost focus somewhere as I daydreamed about old Seinfeld episodes. By the way, does anybody have a copy of the final Seinfeld episode? I still haven't seen it.

If Joy becomes an Old Maid, I think it would be pretty cool if she were to take on a British accent. Joy with a cockney accent....heh,heh

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2002

Man hands? Man feet? I hope I don't have either one of those. I think I can relate (sort of) to what your brother is talking about though, since I used to kid with Jaimee that I wouldn't date anyone who had a smaller pant size than me, just because I'm sort of insecure about weight and things like that. Now that I'm on this health kick and have a goal to at least walk in a marathon (there's a 3-Day Breast Cancer one coming up in August that's 60 miles long), I'm motivated to get in shape. I've always dreamed about doing things like white water rafting and kayaking, but I know I probably wouldn't be able to do them now without passing out.

If (or when) I become an Old Maid, I'll probably have some kind of Tag-lish accent and throw things (junk mail, plastic bags) at happy young couples from the safety of my balcony out of sheer bitterness.

Poor Guy. We should go visit Richele in Seattle again when she gets back from California, and you could meet the girls in her ward that are Guy's age. If you think they'd get along, maybe we could hook them up or something like that. Those girls are hurting for a man too, and they're not getting any younger waiting around.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2002