Corinthian League Match 3

30 November 1996, Arsenal at SJP in the league, we lost 2-1 after getting a goal back through Shearer. No need to tell you who scored for Arsenal...

Playername	Status	Pts
Srnicek	Started	2
Peacock D	Started	2
Albert	Started	2
Elliott R	Started	2
Gillespie	Started	2
Batty	Started	2
Lee	Started	2
Watson	Substitute	1
Beardsley	Started	2
Ginola	Started	2
Asprilla	Started	2
Kitson	Substitute	1
Shearer	Started	4

Premiership

Home			Away
Barton's Samba	3	3	Bokbefok
Brewery Droopers	4	2	Mortlake Mags
Dynamo Seghill	4	2	Oooarya Oooarya FC
East Hepple Harriers	2	3	Pilgrim's Converts
Fatfield Fantoms	3	2	Real Gone Kid
Fumblebuck United	6	3	The CosmoStars
Kegsy's Kickabouts	4	3	Unreal Whalemeat
Yelli's Yobs	4	3	Wallsend Old Boys

Pilgrim's Converts manage to turn one of their 973 consecutive away games to their advantage while The CosmoStars learn that you simply don't mess with FUFC on their patch.

Division One

Home			Away
Baltimorons	2	3	Blaydon Racers
Cunning Linguists	3	2	Minnesota Fatties
Deportivo la Cramlington	4	2	Preston Big End
Douglas All Boys	2	3	Raphael's Rovers
Fife Flyers	3	1	Spayne
Garcia's Missing Finger	3	1	The SuperTarts
MinesaS&N Academicals	4	2	Wandering Athletic
Wellfield Wanderers	2	3	Wark This Way

The Wellfield Wanderers get a nasty surprise at the hands of Wark This Way whilst the Blaydon Racers and Raphael's Rovers manage important away wins despite Arsene Wenger type mutterings in the press during the week.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Answers

Tables

Premiership
Team	Manager	Pld	HW	HD	HL	HF	HA	AW	AD	AL	AF	AA	GF	Pts	GD
Brewery Droopers	Pete Miller	3	3	0	0	12	8	0	0	0	0	0	12	9	4
Fatfield Fantoms	Pit Bill	3	3	0	0	9	6	0	0	0	0	0	9	9	3
Dynamo Seghill	jonno	3	2	1	0	9	6	0	0	0	0	0	9	7	3
Kegsy's Kickabouts	Kegsy	3	2	1	0	11	9	0	0	0	0	0	11	7	2
Fumblebuck United	Galaxy	3	2	0	1	11	8	0	0	0	0	0	11	6	3
Barton's Samba	Barton	3	1	1	0	7	6	0	1	0	3	3	10	5	1
Yelli's Yobs	Yelli	3	1	1	0	7	6	0	0	1	3	4	10	4	0
Bokbefok	Bok	3	1	0	1	5	5	0	1	0	3	3	8	4	0
Pilgrim's Converts	Pilgrim	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	1	1	8	8	8	4	0
The CosmoStars	PeteT	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	9	9	9	3	0
Real Gone Kid	SellElena	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	8	8	8	3	0
Unreal Whalemeat	Josh	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	10	11	10	3	-1
Mortlake Mags	Dan	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	7	9	7	3	-2
Wallsend Old Boys	Hiro	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	2	7	9	7	1	- 2
Oooarya Oooarya FC	gus	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	3	8	12	8	0	- 4
East Hepple Harriers	True	3	0	0	3	5	12	0	0	0	0	0	5	0	- 7

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Division 1
Team	Manager	Pld	HW	HD	HL	HF	HA	AW	AD	AL	AF	AA	GF	Pts	GD
Cunning Linguists	Kennyboy	3	3	0	0	11	6	0	0	0	0	0	11	9	5
Fife Flyers	macbeth	3	2	1	0	9	6	0	0	0	0	0	9	7	3
Garcia's Missing Finger	Tony Green Jnr	3	2	1	0	9	6	0	0	0	0	0	9	7	3
Wark This Way	Bobby	3	0	0	0	0	0	2	1	0	8	6	8	7	2
Deportivo la Cramlington	Andy	3	2	0	1	8	6	0	0	0	0	0	8	6	2
Baltimorons	Ciara	3	1	0	1	6	4	0	1	0	1	1	7	4	2
MinesaS&N Academicals	Muzzainoz	3	1	1	1	7	6	0	0	0	0	0	7	4	1
Blaydon Racers	Geordie	3	0	1	1	4	5	1	0	0	3	2	7	4	0
Douglas All Boys	Gibbo	3	1	0	2	7	8	0	0	0	0	0	7	3	-1
The SuperTarts	Steph	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	6	7	6	3	-1
Raphael's Rovers	Nick Raphael	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	6	8	6	3	-2
Minnesota Fatties	Screacher	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	6	9	6	3	-3
Spayne	Garcie	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	5	8	5	3	-3
Wellfield Wanderers	Softie	3	0	1	1	5	6	0	1	0	2	2	7	2	-1
Preston Big End	Clarky	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	2	7	10	7	1	-3
Wandering Athletic	Paul	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	2	7	10	7	1	- 3

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Very disappointing. Threw away a 2 goal lead through sloppy, well non-existent really, defending. We'll have to remind our tea lady not to bring out the postmatch chocolate cake and ice cream until after the final whistle blows. Otherwise the players lose all concentration.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

I suppose being beaten by the league leaders isn't too bad, tho I felt we could have licked the Cunning Linguists. However, they pulled some cunning stunts that left theFatties exposed at the back (the bare-faced cheek of it).

Ciara, if your tealady is ever out of a job, just tell her to push her trolley round to the Pudding Bowl stadium.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Wehey....will you look at that score! Amazing how a bit of sunshine lifts the spirits! (:o)

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

How come half a dozen teams haven't had a home game yet? Is the Softitron 3000 fixture generator having some problems?

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Hey, how come I'm the team in red at the bottom?

Preston Big End clearly have the same stats as me.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Age before beauty everything.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

sorry Ciara but I did give the Racers a right bollocking after they surrendered to the Fat Bar Stewards.

An away win.... HOWAY !!!

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Is the Softitron 3000 fixture generator having some problems?

Oh dear - I think a swingeing points deducted penalty might need to be inflicted here. It's hardly the league management's fault if half the so-called "stadia" in the league have been condemned as unfit to be used as pig sties let alone be used to stage these crucial games avidly watched by upwards of half a dozen spectators in some cases. Those of us who have invested in our stadia are doing the league a favour by staging all the home matches we can.

Dynamo Seghill doubled it's seating capacity in the close season with a shrewd purchase of 4 garden chairs in a B&Q end of line sale, and it's this kind of investment in the future of the game which is to be encouraged rather than whinge on about not getting any home fixtures yet.

BTW, Dynamo Seghill would like to extend our deepest sympathies to Oooarya Oooarya FC for the loss of three of their players down a disused mine shaft during the first 5 minutes of this weeks match. This mine shaft, just inside the penalty area at the Brickworks end of the ground, is marked out by our groundsman, but after two matches, inclement weather, and over grazing by the cows on the adjoining farm, the lines were a little faded for this game. We shall be holding a minute's silence in honour of these unfortunate players, just as soon as we've stopped laughing.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

I'll have you know that Mortlake Mags new floating pitch/nightclub complex - HMS St.James' - meets all UEFA, FIFA and CBBC criteria for virtual competition. It does get a bit claggy at high tide, mind.

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

On behalf of the families of those three players, we accept the best wishes and condolences of the Sedgehill Bored.

There will be a minutes silence to be observed at every game over the next three rounds so we can remember each player individually.

A book of condolence will be available at each game and at all Tesco and Asda shops.

Unfortunately the coffins will not be available for the filing past as we have not recovered the bodies from the hole. Negotiations are underway to have those who wish to pay their respects can file past the hole at Segdehills ground

-- Anonymous, April 16, 2002

Sorry Paul, might I suggest a change of team title to "Awandering Athletic"? ;-)

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2002

The formidable men from Wark have made me proud. Obviously, the leaky defence is a concern, but our indomitable strikeforce once again has seen us through. A magnificent result...e-i-e-i-o it's up the table Wark must go.

Thankfully, the 2nd coating of creosote will have a chance to dry before our 1st home game. And the electric fence will have been installed for away fans by then too.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2002

Actually dan, we conducted a poll of both your fans (although one refused to answer in case we were from the soshul) and the response was that he reckoned he'd have a bit more cash after Christmas so could we save all the away games until then. This League listens to its fan.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2002