A blonde was out driving when a hailstorm struck. After that was over, she got out of the car and found it was severely dented. "My goodness, what shall I do" wailed the distraught woman. Then she saw a filling station up ahead.

The attendant was a mean turd, if you have my meaning. Upon hearing the blonde's tale of woe, he said she could pop out the dents by blowing into the tailpipe.

So she drove home and proceeded to take this advice. Just then her room mate, also a blonde, came home and asked what she was doing.

Upon being told, she broke into peals of laughter and shouted "HelLO".

"You have to roll up the windows first."

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2002

Answers

Groan!

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2002

And I have 2 days to top this?????

heheheehehahahahaheheheheh will try!

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2002

SAR, I think you've got it made.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2002

Peter,

When I read your first proposal, I thought it would be interesting. I didn't know it was about jokes. Could it be that your thoughts were on nothing but blondes? ;)

Hmmmm.... wondering just what jokes are to tasteless to post even here.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2002

are there any jokes more tasteless than that one?

maybe the object should be to try and post a worse joke. topping that is too easy.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2002

When I first made the proposal, I assumed that something would occur in my life, during the two-day period, worth communicating about. It was a very pleasant two days, but I judged it to be of zero interest to anyone besides me.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2002

I see that my tastelessness has stunned Barefoot. Well move over Andrew Dice Clay.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2002

Thursday afternoon dynamite:

I just did something I should have done before now, bought a copy of "Gardening for Dummies." (I like the "for Dummies" series.) Already I feel I know about my own particular situation, after reading one chapter, on perennials. One of my plantings may well be a winterberry, I'll have to do more checking.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2002

Peter, if you'd like something easy care for the summer, try Madagascar periwinkle. It's that plant that looks a bit like impatients but has dark glossy leaves. Very drought-proof and seems to be insect- and pest-proof too.

Then there's that great little annual, portulaca, looks like a tiny rose with lots of little spiky succulent leave--comes in fabulous colors.

I really like coreopsis "Moonbeam," a perennial that has nothing but good qualities, especially its lovely soft moonbeam yellow color.

Daylily "Happy Returns" reblooms, which is nice, and although a tad expensive to start with will multiply like a rabbit.

I've had hibiscus "Diane" for about five years and it's a very dependable shrub. Just needs a whacking back in late winter.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2002

OG, thanks for the tips. (My mother in Iowa has daylilies that she's very fond of.)

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2002

Make sure they're repeat bloomers, though, otherwise you get blooms only for a few weeks. 'Course, in dire circs, you can cook and eat all parts of the plant, including the tubers and blossoms. You can also mix day lilies with different blooming times.

I planted a viburnum about six years ago. It's now a very large bush covered, at the moment, with dozens of canteloupe-sized globes of tiny flowers, ready to turn white and very fragrant shortly. Wayside has a good selection of viburnums--find one you like then search on the web for the best price. I got mine from Appalachian Gardens--a very good source. Some viburnums are evergreen, or semi-, and some have attractive red berries. The flowers don't last that long but are worth the breathtaking display. App. Gardens also has a holly with yellow berries.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2002