The Hartlepool United mascot, H'Angus the monkey (I kid you not), has entered his name to join the race for mayor of Middlesbrough.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

Answers

How will the electorate be able to differentiate him from the other candidates?

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

It would be hilarious if he won (virtually impossible, I know)

Could you imagine turning up for a council meeting and there's a small man dressed up as a monkey as the mayor?

I wonder how many vote, for comedy value?

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

No doubt he'd do a better job than Shrub. At least mascots don't speak, which would be a major improvement. ;-)

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

We know where he'd stand on capital punishment...

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

A recent issue of Private Eye features Bush on the cover. He is sat in conference with Blair and they are evidently discussing Saddam. Blair says "He's getting out of control and he has weapons of mass destruction", to which Bush replies "So what's wrong with that?".

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

When did Private Eye quit doing satire? ;-)

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

This reminded me that many, many years ago when I was at university, we held the annual election for the President of the Students Union. This was a much sought after post because it carried a year's sabbatical and A SALARY. One chap stood for election dressed in a gorilla costume. At the hustings he never said a word, just leapt about the stage with a banana making gorilla type noises. Needless to say he was elected. After a stewards enquiry there was a re-run, however, and some boring git a jacket got picked instead. Sad.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2002

Is the Sunderland manager a democratically elected post?

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2002

The Coke machine at my college was elected as Events Officer. Clearly the decline in poltical interest is no recent phenomenonnononononthingy.

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2002

Anyone who has any residual confidence in the political process should check out the canditure for the esteemed post of Mayor of North Tyneside. Sheesh!

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2002

I understand that should H'Angus win his first act of policy is to give everyone a free banana (ITV Teletext 4.4.2) - clever canvassing of the makem vote, then

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2002