My friend SH sent me this:

Random thoughts

"Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything." -Unknown

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Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while...it isn't so hot.

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"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen."

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"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you." -Paul Newman.

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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

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"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."-- George Carlin

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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.

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"You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." -Steven Wright

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"According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars." - Anonymous

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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. - Larry Baum

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"All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism." - North DeKalb

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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

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I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.

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In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

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"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." - Ronald Reagan

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"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."

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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me"- Hunter S. Thompson

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"You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration." Jay Leno

-- Anonymous, March 30, 2002

Answers

April fool's!!!

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2002

SAR, welcome to a very select club consisting of Carl, Barefoot, and myself.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2002

http://www.jayb ill.com/article.php?articleID=49

sound needed for full effect.

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2002

That was for Carl. LOL

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2002

Peter..I feel honored!!! hehehehe

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2002