Some of you know that I am going through a divorce, well I have had to file contempt of court against my soon to be ex husband, as he violated a restraining order. Well when we went to court yesterday they decided without me being present in the courtroom to consolidate the proceedings into the divorce court. I was on the phone with my attorney who was supposed to be present but decided not to come as she felt I should handle this on my own. I understood why but when I came back to court the decision had been made. Anyway, later at the attorney's office I found out that he had also filed for divorce and were taking his petition over mine. And I had filed mine a month before he did. To make matters worse, he is now going to fight for sole custody of the kids. I know this is not likely but the way things have been going I fear anything is possible. I have also been told that I am being ordered to go to domestic counseling and my son who is six will also have to go before a counselor and tell him who he wants to live with.

The whole matter is just so frustrating.

I am putting it in God's hands and just asking for you to keep my family in your prayers.

Thank you.

-- Melinda (speciallady104@hotmail.com), March 27, 2002

Answers

I am praying for you. I was married once before. And I feel for your situation.

-- Kristean Thompson in Indiana (pigalena_babe@yahoo.com), March 27, 2002.

Melinda, you and your children will definitely be in my prayers. If your husband is being abusive (I'm assuming that since you said he violated a restraining order) I don't see how the courts could give him custody. Sounds to me like maybe he is trying to get out of paying child support. Again, my prayers are with you.

-- Barb (bjconthefarm@yahoo.com), March 27, 2002.

Oh, the stupid things people sometimes do when they are going through a divorce! Your soon-to-be-ex is acting this way because he has so many mixed emotions and also, he wants to hurt you. He really probably doesn't want custody, but, by doing this, he is causing you stress. Don't let his actions bother you as it sounds as if he is lashing out. Put it all in God's hands. He will take care of you and your son. And, pray for the soon-to-be-ex too. He probably needs God's help too.

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), March 27, 2002.

Oh Melinda, I will be praying hard. I know you are a good mother! I hope it all works out for the best. The counseling may be a good idea, once they get to know you, they will almost certainly reccommend you get the children. The couselors advice carries a lot of weight with the court.

-- Melissa in SE Ohio (me@home.net), March 27, 2002.

Melinda, my heart goes out to you. What a tough situation. I will be praying for you. Take heart.

-- Terran in VT (homefire@sover.net), March 27, 2002.

I agree Melinda..in these situations .. give it to the Lord. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son and yes I will say a prayer for a change of heart in your soon to be x.

-- Sher (riverdobbers@webtv.net), March 27, 2002.

Prayers for you, and a special one for your son; I know this is hard to understand when you are young. Prayers also for your son's father, that he will look into his heart and make this easy for your son, not harder.

-- Christine in OK (cljford@mmcable.com), March 27, 2002.

God's blessings on you Melinda. I have been in your shoes. Don't let the Counsellor bother you, as she is really for you and not against you. Hand all this to the Father who loves you, and trust Him. "Lean not on your own understandings...". Much love and prayers, Sissy

-- Sissy Barth (iblong2Him@ilovejesus.net), March 27, 2002.

You have our prayers but you also need to find a lawyer that is in court every time anything about your case comes up. Also you should never miss anything either. Turn your back and the court system will stab you right between the fourth and fifth rib. Last but not least WATCH YOUR LAWYER AT ALL TIMES. You have just experienced how the system works and have already suffered serious damage to your case. Nothing is as important as being there and having a lawyer that is also always there. If you and your attorney are not in the court room, then the judge figures you don't respect his court, or that you don't care. Both you and your lawyer goofed, don't do it again, you really don't want to lose. Its the pits but still the best system in the world.. Best of luck

-- David in North Al. (bluewaterfarm@mindspring.com), March 27, 2002.

Praying for you Melinda. This has to be very hard to go through.

-- vicki in NW OH (thga76@aol.com), March 27, 2002.

Hi Melinda, I will be praying for you! Tracy Jo

-- Tracy Jo in SE Ohio (tntneff@ifriendly.com), March 27, 2002.

I was reading the posts & getting ready to get to the bottom to tell you to really think about waht kind of lawyer you have --when I read Dave's post-- I agree--if you don't have alawyer who is watching our for you------ get another lawyer---thses are decisions that will effect you & your children the rest of your life-----you NEED A GOOD LAWYER NOW!!!!!!

I am speaking from experience!!!!!!!!! Thought I couldn't afford another one---as the one I had kept missing court dates also---- etc/etc/etc/etc/---your laywer can make or break your future!!!!!

Get one who knows the law----& will be there for you at ALL TIMES!!!!!!

Love & prayers to you----get as much rest as you can & please take extra Vit. B complex to help with the stress---

It will get better----but it may take a while ----hang tough!!!!

-- Sonda in Ks. (sgbruce@birch.net), March 27, 2002.

Hang in there, Love Mom

-- Cindy (S.E.IN) (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), March 27, 2002.

Prayer is good but the court system is not get a nother lawyer SAP and rember keep looking up. Bob se,ks.

-- Bobco (bobco@kans.com), March 27, 2002.

I was never married, but I know the fear of the legal system and the fear of not knowing with my son. I will be praying for your strength and courage, but know, God does not leave us in our time of need, he's there holding our hand and watching over our children. Be brave and have faith.God Bless

-- Micheale from SE Kansas (mbfrye@totelcsi.net), March 27, 2002.