1.So Saturdays game didn't go as you had planned? No. We didn't have a chance after Pires scored after 1 minute. And Bergkamps goal killed us off. 2.What did the coach say after the game? I didn't understand most of it. 3.What he was saying, or how he was saying it? No, Sylvain didn't want to translate some of it. The coach was very angry and depressed. 4.How did the game personally go for you? Well i had one good free kick, which the keeper stopped. And i was tackling back at 3-0 down. But it all went too fast. 5.How did you feel when Pires got injured? I was naturally concerned that he hadn't broken his leg and severly snapped every important ligament in both legs rendering him unavailable for the Scotland game. 6.I hear Djorkaeff has been called up. No, i didn't know that. I'm naturally quite surprised and hurt. He's 46. 7.Did you see the papers were linking you with a 10 millionEuro switch to Inter in the summer? No, but i'm delighted, er, that you told me so now i know. 8.Good luck for Everton, they have a new manager and Gascoigne used to play there. Thankyou, I'll be looking to win. But now i must go, we are doing trapping practice today with Carl Cort. Bye.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

Answers

Nice one swifty - it would be even more amusing if it wasn't for the fact that it could largely be true! ;o{)

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002

Would that be trap-door practice...perhaps with a noose swinging above it?

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2002