I'm surprised it took so long to name this element, seeing that there's so much of it around!

A new element, Administratium, has been discovered.

A major research institution has recently discovered the heaviest element known to science. This discovery has been tentatively named Administratium.

It has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does however, have 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into to contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2002

Answers

LOL Ciara!

An encouraging post. My life DOES have a purpose. :-)

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2002

Bloody excellent ciara - as a (former!) Chemical Engineer that appeals to me enormously, and will become extensively-circulated to real Chemists and Chem Engineers of my acquaintance.

-- Anonymous, March 15, 2002