My teacher, my facorite teacher has had cancer for about a year now. everyone thought he would be fine and be back to work soon but i turns out he took a wrong turn and is now headed twords the big D word... DEATH. i have delt with many deaths in my life but this one seems to be the hardest. my objective to make myself feel better is to write him a note. but what kind of note does one write to a man one knows is going to die anyday now? Thank you for your help, Alyson

-- Anonymous, March 13, 2002

Answers

Any note that is't going to remind they that they are about to die. Although any note would probably remind them of the fact. I wouldn't mention that you are going to miss him. Focus on the things you enjoy or why you feel the need to write.

-- Anonymous, March 14, 2002

I recently visited a mentor who was dying. I didn't want him to have to deal with my sorrow and depression over his death but at the same time I wanted him to know what a difference he had made in my life. It was hard for me - - but I got the feeling it wasn't so hard for him. He knew he was dying and nothing I said was going to remind him or keep him from remembering that. I finally just said - "You made a huge difference in my life and I want you to know that". Later I thought - we should tell people that even if they are not dying. My friend died within weeks of my visit and the hour I spent with him was one of the last lucid hours he had. I'm glad I told him but I'm more conscious of telling people close to me what they mean to me now. Ricia

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2002

I would say this: read Ricia's comments again. I think they have a good answer to this question. I would also like to remind you of this...HE AIN'T DEAD YET!! He is a teacher, a professor, a purveyor of knowledge...treat him as such. I would not write a letter, but go see him. Ask him some questions (after you follow the instructions of Ricia) -- is there anything I didn't get? Are there any last instructions? What did you most want to teach me? Remember that men draw much of their self-worth from their job, if he wanted to teach, let him! This is just a humble suggestion from someone who found out a week ago that his favorite French teacher died a couple of years ago. (Au revoir, Madam Judd, Au revoir)

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2002