First Dates

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Tell us about them. The good, the bad, the awkward.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Answers

My first date with The Smoker, first we got dinner. Then we saw Shaft. Then he drove up and down Johnson Ferry Road for what seemed like hours while he ranted about the CIA and OPEC and how the Pentagon had infiltrated CNN and there was more but mostly he was looking for an open Caribou Coffee and I was wondering if I was going to get ax-murdered later in the evening.

Then we went to Steak & Shake. Then he got a speeding ticket and a trooper asking him, "Is your name Richard Petty, son?" on I-285.

Best first date I've had so far.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002


The best first date I ever had was with C. After that date, I knew I had to marry him, because any other first dates with any other guy would just be sad and downhill.

The worst first date I ever had was with this guy I met in Buckhead. We went to a gross restaurant that couldn't rate more than a 67 with the Department of Health, and then we met up with some of my friends in the Highlands. It was about 11 p.m., and I was bored to tears and tired to death. My friends were talking, and this guy was being dull, and I fell asleep. I finally told the guy that it was past my bedtime and that I was ready to go home. I told my friends goodby, and thankfully, we were only a few blocks from my apartment. I ditched the guy at the bar and went home to bed.

Epilogue? The guy called and asked me out for another date. I was shocked at how desperate he must have been to call the girl that fell asleep on their first date. I politely declined.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002


First date with Partner, we went to see the Darkside of the Rainbow at the Civic Center. They played Wizard of Oz on two screens with the sound low and matched up Dark Side of the Moon. It was my first time seeing the sync and the first time I ever saw my all time favorite movie on a big screen. As if that weren't enough goodness, we got into a fabulous argument over what words are good words and what words are just lame. We had so much fun that we decided to be best friends right then.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Best Date: Went to Vegas with Brian and got married on our first date. Three years later, we joke that we are technically still on our first date. Also, had best steak dinner of my life that night.

Worst Date: Restaurant owner of the tapas place I was in met me at the door of the ladies room halfway thru my dinner date with this shmuck and offered me cab fare - said I could wait in the kitchen, he would go get my coat from the table, and I would never have to see this guy again. That is how awful my date was, and how obvious it was to everyone in the room.

My date was an awful human being - from picking his teeth with a matchbook cover at the table, to harrassing the waitress about how she was 'ripping us off', all the while smoking a cigar (in a no- cigar room) and telling me, very loudly, what a catch he was, because he was a lawyer, and how women were all gold diggers who wanted him for his money.

The kicker was when the bill came - I offered half, he accepted that and took my cash, then put the tab on his firm's credit card, and took the receipt, telling me he was going to write the whole thing off. His company paid the whole bill, and he made the half I paid as profit for himself.

He drove me home, got into my house by asking for something, the phone, I think - then stretched out on my couch, took his shoes off, and started to nap! And he was wearing these polyester dress socks with holes in the heels and toes - not attractive. I told him he had to leave, immediately, and he gave me this spiel about how he needed a place to sleep, it was too far to drive home, he didn't have his house keys, etc. And how I would be a lucky girl to have a wonderful man like him stay over - like i could show that off to my neighbours in the morning!

I need a shower just thinking about that guy. Blind date, last date.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002


Oh Kristin, that is bad! How did you finally get rid of him?

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002


This is a prom first-date. His prom, not mine.

I think things began to go badly when he arrived at the door dressed as a cowboy. Hat, boots, fugly shirt. Pardon my selfishness, but I almost died. I, of course, had decided to go all out, since I had a feeling I wouldn't be asked to my own prom.

When I got in the limo, one of the other girls said, "I love that dress! I wore the same one last year." So, from there, we went to the Salvation Army compound in Fort Washington (it's like a mini- castle) to pick up the last person. Which is where the Bible-talk started.

Yes, I got stuck all night with a bunch of born-again Bible-thumpers who confessed their sins to their parents on a nightly basis. I was, of course, raised as an Athiest. You can imagine my discomfort. But I was game.

He tells me about two hours into the prom that we're leaving. By this point, my heels are killing, so I'm like, "Whatever, fine." Do we go home? No, we drive to a Youth Group Revival for their church. I have no idea where the heck we are or how to get home. No one will tell me. I'm convinced I'm going to get killed or something.

Anyway, so I watched them dance to Mmm-Bop, my date sang Christian music in my ear - "There's a big, big house where we can play football," and multiple offers were made to assist in my conversion. I tactfully refused them. And then, after they finished praying about casting out Satan and lust in the prayer circle, I begged to go home.

How's that for a first date? Thankfully, the others were much better.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002


From our darling Ted: "Vince Vaughn, one very large Jon Favreau and one very skinny Adam Goldberg. The swingin' trio dropped by the sold-out El Rey Theater for a rare L.A. appearance by Merle Haggard."

What a coincidence, Naked Hannah! Not minor stars at all.

-- Anonymous, March 07, 2002


I'm pretty sure I could have a great first date with Vince Vaughn.

I did a lot of "non-dating" in high school, and one of my favorite stories involves this guy I had a HUGE crush on but who was really the world's biggest asshole. (His brother's high school girlfriend became a lesbian when she went off to T's alma mater, as a matter of fact. Just a little tidbit for you.)

One night he suggested we go out to dinner. Thinking that this is IT, our first date/date (before that we'd gone out a lot but always as a foursome with our friends who were a couple) I was super excited.

He took me to Denny's.

Then he used a coupon.

-- Anonymous, March 07, 2002


Y'all? I think last night I had a better first date than I would have if I'd met Vince Vaughn instead.

I kept thinking "Who is this person holding hands over the dinner table?? I'm supposed to be bitter and cynical, not over here all gaga."

We've got some future plans, too, including a trip to the Nixon library, which he's always wanted to go to. Y'all. He's always wanted to go to the Nixon library. I feel like he must have come from a kit.

-- Anonymous, March 07, 2002


Well, I went on the first date that wasn't. Let me explain.

When my fiancee, Mike, and I first met, I liked him immediately. It wasn't the same for him. Oh, sure, he thought I was nice and all...just no warm and fuzzies from him. I kept inviting him to do things in a group setting, to get to know him better. Finally, he asked me out to dinner and then we were going to one of his friend's drum recitals. Of course, I thought this was a date. He held both the car and the restaurant doors open for me. He paid the tab. We had a great time. I happened to mention to one of his friends that this was our first date, because I was all giddy about it. About 30 minutes later, Mike completely stops talking to me. Even during the 45 minute drive back, he hardly said a word. I found out later that the person I mentioned the date to had asked Mike if we were on a date, and Mike said no. His friend then informed him of what I said.

Oh, and after that...Mike called his dad and asked his father for a way to let me down easy. That's right, he asked his dad to give him tips on getting rid of me. I turn red everytime I think about it. But I think that I got the last laugh when he gave me an engagement ring for Christmas, in front of his parents.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2002



I just experienced the best first date ever. Of course, it was on A Dating Story, but still, I was giddy. They were cute and funny and I wanted to be out there with them. They went to a driving range and actually did the "Happy Gilmore swing."

Yes. This is my life.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002


Hannah, please call us. Clearly you are bored out of your mind.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2002

How about a date you didn't know was a date? i.e., the "fix-up".

My brother, a singles minister (who I had told in no uncertain terms *never* to hook me up) invites me to go to a hockey game with "a bunch of singles." OK. I can deal. I like hockey.

The "bunch" turned out to be 2 couples, one single guy, and me.

Uh...how dumb do they think I am? Sheesh. Plus, the guy was the late- 30's-living-with-his-mom type, and just generally, sad and pitiful.

It was a long, long, awkward, horrible evening. The guy was dumber than a sack of hammers, and the two couples kept encouraging us to sit together, telling us "you have a lot in common"...oh, man. My brother got ripped a new one after that, let me tell you.

My other favorite bad first (and only) date was the guy who thought he'd tell me booger and poop jokes while we were eating. Dude...I'm eating. The sad thing is, I can deal with crudity, but it's not really first-date material. At least *try* to impress me.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2002


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