The following is the outrageous story currently on Fromtheterrace.com. I'm not entirely sure if this is overtly a tongue-in-cheek wind-up or not:

Newcastle are ready to flog Kieron Dyer to fund a £30m bid for Juventus’ Alessandro Del Piero.

Del Piero is definitely ready for a change of scenery, after being booed off when substituted against Bologna at the weekend. Even Italian coach Giovanni Trapattoni thinks a move will beneficial for Del Piero and it could give him a chance to revive his career.

The 27-year-old striker is just getting over knee problems that have hampered him for the last couple of years. But the Serie A crowds are traditionally even less patient than the Premiership counterparts, so Del Piero may advised to move to England.

Liverpool are reportedly interested but Newcastle are set to hijack the Reds’ bid by raising £30m themselves. Around £20m or possibly more will be raised by the sale of Kieron Dyer, as the Magpies desperately need to find a replacement for the injured Craig Bellamy.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Answers

...the result of smoking an ounce a week that one I think.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

The time to go for Del Piero is when he's fit and doing the business again, not when he's coming back from a career threatening injury.

We'd be in the same boat we were when AS was coming back. It's taken him about two years to get back to somewhere near and I can't believe DP would get back any quicker.

And selling Dyer to finance this is absolute madness. If there's even a grain of truth in any of it, I'll immediately revert to being the ultra cynical miserable doddering owld whinger 40 odd years of NUFC mediochrity has turned me into.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Haha this must be one of the most unlikely stories ever.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

I would love to see us sign someone as talented as Del Piero but at 30 million???? For a player who's basically been knackered for 2 years??? And to sell our best player (and Dyer IS our best player, injuries aside, by miles) to buy him????

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Is that albert del piero?

If so ,he is contracted to Dunston mechanis until may 2003.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

I'm just surprised we haven't been linked to Rivaldo after he has been booed(sp?) for the last few games. Especcially with the Bobby- Barcelona link.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Rivaldo is basically knackered. his knees have gone. if we signed him it would a travesty, even for 10p.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

U mean Rivaldo or Ronaldo swift?

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

We should be paying out £5m or £10m for the NEXT Del Piero. I think he'd like to play for us - he was pleasantly surprised at his reception in the Juve friendly a few years ago, but £30m is surely OTT for a player booed off the other day?

BTW on the rumours front, there's a one-liner in the Mirror this morning thus :- Newcastle are close to agreeing a £6m deal for Feyenord's Australia midfielder Brett Emerton.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Rivaldo. Jonno is spot on. In JJ we may have done it already...

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Watching Football Italia, he hasn't overly-impressed me for a season or two. It's not necessarily that improbable that he'd conisder a move here, though. Remember how much he liked us after that friendly at SJP and as recently as two months ago, he mentioned us in 4-4-2.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

So he doesn't rate us in 3-5-2 :-)

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

we need a lock picker, maybe D P is just bored? 10 mil, and no more though :-)

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

I signed him for NUFC in Championship Manager, if that's any help. So if he signs, you can expect Kevin Hofland and Barry Ferguson to follow.

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

hofland piero and ferguson would be nice, barry NOT duncan

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

Is there some sort of fan-abuse-inflation rate going on here?

Booing at player = £30m
Small items thrown = £35m
Car bomb = £50

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002

its like that on the continent, but in england its different kick a girl student from inside a mercedes 500cl(silver) = 6m - 20m

have a mercedes 500cl(silver) complete with at least 3 girls in it =6m - 25m

go bald = reduce from 15m to manager

the deduction is simple, get every player to drive a mercedes 500cl (silver) and play about in it with student girls! facile!

its easy

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2002