just wondering,, what does the word FAMILY mean to you?

-- Stan (sopal@net-port.com), March 01, 2002

Answers

People (related or not), with whom we can share, learn from, grow with, love, support, encourage, teach, hold accountable, comfort, build up, respect, protect and care for. It is to be expected that being human, there will be occasional discord, but family members should always be respectful in working out their differences. Differing opinions can cause conflict, but can also be a means of growth if people show respect even while disagreeing.

Family is the one place you should be able to go when there is nowhere else to go, when the world is a hurtful place and you need some hugs and homemade chicken noodle soup. Family should be where you can go to share your joys and sorrows, be silly, ask trivial questions without being laughed at, share your dreams and pour out your heart. Family should be where the lights are always on, and you are met at the door with smiles, open arms and no questions asked. Family members should show each other the same courtesy they expect to receive, it's what's known as the Golden Rule. In short, family is love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

That is family, whether you were born into it or not.

And now I ask you, with all due respect, why are you here? This is, by definition, a "Family" forum. The people on this forum are very accepting of those wishing to join the family. We are even quite tolerant of those with widely differing opinions, generally cranky attitudes, and those who get out of bed on the wrong side occasionally. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that you wish to start conflict and cause division here, and I wonder why? If you don't like the moderator, don't like certain people on the forum, don't like "trivial" questions, or don't like the forum in general, then why stay? Again, I may be reading you wrong, but that is how you come across. If you like stirring things up and creating constant controversy and hard feelings, there are many forums out there whose members appear to enjoy that sort of thing. They shouldn't be hard to find, as the majority of the forums seem to be that way. This forum is different. If you are searching for a door with the light on and a family to be a part of, I will be the first to ask you to stay. But please, show the same respect to others that you would like to be shown.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), March 01, 2002.

Oh Lenette, You put it so beautifully! I've been thinking of this all morning. Family is so rare and wonderful. I've had to build a "family" twice and they're not all relatives either. Thank you for stating it so well and God bless!

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), March 01, 2002.

Good questions, Stan, it really got me thinking. I have many friends that I think of more as "family" than my blood relatives. Mostly because most of my family is a bunch of Hostess Cupcakes (ie: Ding Dongs)...LOL!

To me, family means being there for each other, accepting each other as they are, not keeping a scorecard of who-did-what-for-who, and loving each other even through our screw ups in life. Family does for each other because it is the right thing to do...not because you can hold it over each other so your "owed" one.

Not to say we all don't all say or do stupid things and we all know we won't always agree, but family forgives and knows each other well enough to know that each other's heart is in the right place and love prevails through the disagreements.

And most of all family builds each up...not tears each other down. Being part of a family shouldn't hurt.

-- Karen (mountains_mama2@hotmail.com), March 01, 2002.

Our family is breakfast cereal - made up of fruits, nuts and flakes, but when you put them all together, they are pretty good!

-- Christine in OK (cljford@mmcable.com), March 01, 2002.

Family should be taught when you're young. Although it does make for some interested revelations when you're older.

-- Cindy (SE. IN) (atilrthehony@hotmail.com), March 01, 2002.

Hello Stan,

I got the "impression" that this post came out of some disagreements that was between you and a couple of other forum family members. I also got this impression from the other postings that Melissa had deleted involving you. I really do not know what happened or even really want to know what happen but, I did want to let you know that I am concerned.

We do not know each other except for the postings that we have shared and I have never had any hard feelings with you or any other forum family members. But, if you or anyone has a grip or criticism about what I post or how I post it, I consider it "debating material" and will reinterate with a counter post.

Just like family will debate and counter debate issues among themselves, I consider this forum the same. I try to set an example of courtesy and respect...just as if I was talking with each person face to face. When someone is rude to me, I will comment to them about it and sometimes I will comment to the rest of the family about it. It really depends on the issue.

If a family member does not like what I say, comments about a post that I have submitted, I will not allow my anger to show on the counter posting to them. But, I will not let them mistreat what I have posted with sarcasm or disrespect. Again, I will counter with as much respect that I can muster. And so forth and so on. This is what use to be called debating. A tribute to the art of conversation to draw out as much conclusive evidence of the particular post. That is a work of art if done properly.

However, if it is debased with sarcasm, riducule, malious or contempt then.....it is not anything but an argument. Arguments on this and many other forums should be handle privately. In all family situations it should be handle privately. I take a family member to the side here at home and we settle the problem between the two of us. We do not "shout it out" in front of the rest of the family. That way no one else intervenes with their comments and no one is embarassed.

From the post that I read, it seemed that you and Mitch had some kind of a problem. Then I read that some of the forum members had sent you viruses and you were explicit in warning them. Now, those are examples of family disagreements that should have been handle privately. Now, others have joined in and sided with those members that you openly mentioned were causing you problems. Those members who have sided against you, have read some of your comments at the end of their post considered them callous and insensitive. They of course are the ones that will readily disagree with the way you are acting now. But, that does not mean that you are not part of the forum family! It means that we are all concerned enough to help work out a solution.

I would never tell a family member that he is "not wanted" or that he "should leave" as others posted in the deleted posts earlier. Because after all, you are still family dispite attitude or whatever. I would rather try to work out the differences and continue with the whole family and not just part of it.

Maybe this situation has taught us all a lesson, in the respect that we need to confront each other immediately in private and not let the feelings we have for each other "fester" until it reaches a point where anger takes over. In my opinion you Stan are family! Let, it be known that there are better ways to solve family problems then this.

Sincerely,

Ernest

-- http://communities.msn.com/livingoffthelandintheozarks (espresso42@hotmail.com), March 01, 2002.

Ernest, well said!

-- george nh (rcoopwalpole@aol.com), March 01, 2002.