Choose a chimpanzee, choose 20,000 empty seats to watch you play at home in the Worthington cup, choose Laurie Macmenemie, Mick Buxton, Dennis Smith and glue sniffing drug dealer Jamie Lawrence, choose Gillingham, Tony Cascarino and rubber faced twat Eric Gates in the 3rd division, choose a record signing that cost one third of Wimbledon's John Hartson, choose Claudio Marengoni, Vaux pissy beer and Bobby Ball as your 1973 FA Cup captain, choose a tramp dressed in detective Colombo's dirty rain coat running across wembley as your greatest memory, choose the last time you played in Europe pirates attacked the ferry, choose your biggest crowd of the 80's to watch Billy Graham, choose to allow 2,000 geordies to gate crash your relegation to the 3rd division, choose finishing 6th lose the playoffs yet still get promoted, choose a deformed dwarf with a monkeys heed as a manager, choose living in a city without a cathedral without a cinema without a concert venue, choose Black Lace as your biggest pop concert for 30 years, choose summer holidays at Crimdon Dene, choose having to travel 10 mile north in order to travel south by train, choose having an inferiority complex about your big north east neighbours, choose holding an international air show and telling people its free to watch, imagine charging 5 quid to look up, choose having to spend millions on taxes and waiting 20 years to see a metro train, choose a lump of concrete on a hill as your only landmark, choose a stadium named after a Portuguese club and then building it on the wrong side of the river, choose spending £37.50 on a few coloured light bulbs hanging them and lamp posts and pretending its f*cking Blackpool, choose copying off everybody ya monkeys heeds, choose having a shopping centre the size of Gosforth high street, choose building left hand drive tin cans for 2 foot tall slanty eyed Bangkock lady boys, choose travelling to South Shields for a decent night out, choose WEEZE KEEZE IS THEEZE KEEZE Choose banning away supporters cos ya scared of the Mags, choose letting 500 geordies invade the Fullwell end, choose back lane on new years day and telling people on holiday your a geordie, choose seeing your heroes Clark & Bridges cheering on the black & whites at wembley, choose a Newcastle shirt buried under your pitch, choose ginger tw@t Billy big lugs as your only sporting hero, choose Tyneside or Teesside when flying, choose a lion park which has been closed for 25 years as your shirt logo, choose building your entire stadium for less than the price of Alan Shearer, choose your richest fan on earth f*cking off and buying bloody Darlington, choose only ever playing in 2 european matches in your entire history, choose St Mary's lighthouse and Holy Island as your continental opposition, choose Status f*cking Quo to open your stadium, choose playing music to create an atmosphere when you score, choose serving Newcastle beers in your ground, choose not being able to fill your stadium 92% of the season, choose masturbating when beating the likes of Stockport County, Bury and Crewe Alexander, choose giving 1,000,s of free tickets to helpless innocent school kids, choose Michael Gray every time as your penalty taker, choose an unknown kit manufacturer from Abazajam, choose not spending any money, choose giving Leicester 6,000 tickets and still failing by 5,000 to fill your ground for a league cup semi final, choose ya club shop taking a fiver one day in January 1995, choose only filling ya 20,000 Joker park twice in your only ever Premier league season, choose walking around the metro centre with your mackem top on thinking you're hard cos your lass and somebody else's bairns with ya, choose your only England internationals for 70 years being sent to the Kosova war zone for target practice, choose Viagra to keep you pricks up next season, choose they think by spending 50 quid in the summer you'll win the double, @!#$ that I chose not to choose Sunderland I chose Newcastle I chose I think A LIFE.... I mean you cant even choose train spotting you haven't even got a decent train station....

sorry about the formatting but is a cut n paste special....

kb

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2002

Answers

Response to CHOOSE LIFE. . . . ••••

That's so bloody smallminded Kennyboy (snigger, snigger)

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2002

Response to CHOOSE LIFE. . . . ••••

And I thought this was going to be a thread about that dead smack-head. Her family is allowing the Govt to use a pic of her dead with the heroin stained hypodermic in her hand as a shock message to 'just say no'.

But as 'choose life' was from Trainspotting (smack heads in Edinburgh) perhaps it's appropriate after all :-)

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2002