DOGS' LETTERS TO GOD:

Dear God:

How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?

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Dear God:

When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

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Dear God:

Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

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Dear God:

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

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Dear God:

Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

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Dear God:

If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

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Dear God:

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

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Dear God:

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

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Dear God:

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

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Dear God:

Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

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Dear God:

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

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Dear God:

Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpet thing, again?

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Dear God:

May I have my testicles back?

-- Anonymous, February 23, 2002

Answers

May I have my testicles back?

ROTFLMAO

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2002