the good wife

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This is an actual extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in the early 60's.

THE GOOD WIFE GUIDE

"Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys,papers etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes.

Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.

Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work.

Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's.

At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion.

Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.

When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it.

In all things be lead by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent.

It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your nighttime face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."

How can we approach this level of relationship perfection on our homesteads?

-- snoozy (bunny@northsound.net), February 22, 2002

Answers

Just remember that little moan of satisfaction . . .

-- AyleeAnn (AyleeAnn@hotmail.com), February 22, 2002.

MMMMMMMMMMMM........Sounds dull for the husband and frustrating for the wife. I can't imagine living with someone and never knowing if he/she disagrees with me or is just remaining silent. I think I like the Bibles definition of the good wife better. I mean the part that says the good wife rises at dawn to put her maidens at their work. She takes the cloth they have woven and takes it to town and sells it, then she buys a field with the profit. I've always rather liked that definition. Still, if that was the prevailing philosophy in the 1960's, I think it may explain my parents comments about it being OK if my brother complained about something because he was just being a boy; they expected me to be more obedient!

-- Terri (hooperterri@prodigy.net), February 22, 2002.

And on what planet was that home economics textbook published on???!!!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), February 22, 2002.

I agree with terri, and I agree with MOST of the excerpt, except... If my hubby doesnt come home at all or is late, I worry.. ( or I would if my hubby was that insensitive..) and as for my interests being trivial.. my hubby and I share the same interests, great minds think alike... for instance, I love to quilt, so when we were blessed with our first pregnancy, I decided to make a baby quilt. My hubby came home one day and found me in tears , as I couldnt get the design I wanted to come out right, He sat right down with me and we began to fiqure out what I had done wrong. Every night till it was finished we worked on that quilt, now our " baby " has something from both of us to keep all her life. We also cook together, clean together, ( not the house stuff, but the garage, and other outside things. I would never ask him to help with housework, though I have come home on occasion and found my house neat as a pin. ). He and I can our garden produce in the summer , and make jellies ect.. It is grand fun, and draws us closer together. Although this info would be burned by the feminist movement, I for the most part, embrace my role as a PROVERB 31:10-31 wife. What is the value of a good wife? Her value is far above rubies...

-- Kristean Thompson (pigalena_babe@yahoo.com), February 22, 2002.

Wow, I have a friend who was married in the 50's who told me that married life was quite different back then, but that's amazing. And this was in a HomeEc textbook?! Now, since we're more liberated now, do we swap roles and my husband does all that for me? Who does all this when we both work...do we have to hire someone in or should we train one of the kids (and should it be a child/kid or a goat/kid)? I am SO GLAD that my husband and I are best friends and on equal footing!

-- sheryl in ME (radams@sacoriver.net), February 22, 2002.


Are you taking notes ladies?

-- john (natlivent@pcpros.net), February 22, 2002.

Ha-ha! This is a joke, right? Must be why I didn't get good grades in Home ec.

-- vicki in NW OH (thga76@aol.com), February 22, 2002.

When I first read this, all I could think of( after I stopped laughing) , was that my husband wrote this . lol Then I read the other comments and was thinking...isn't it great to be married w/ a family to take care of! We have a family business and actually all work together(good or bad, certain things still have to be done) I thank God for my husband and 5 children..no woman's lib here, just lots of love and respect for the family unit, and joy in the ability to raise them and do all the things required to make our home a haven from the world.

-- Chris (ceg@msn.com), February 22, 2002.

I'm glad I was born in the sixties and not married in them. I can not imagine myself EVER being that subservient and lord help the man that would think I should be. Some things listed I might do because I want to not because I have to.

-- Terri in WV (mrs_swift_26547@yahoo.com), February 22, 2002.

HAA, HAA, HHAA, HEEHEE, HOOO, HOOO, HAAAA, HHAAA, NOW I HAVE TO GO CHANGE MY CLOTHES, HAAA, HAAA, HAAA, HEE,....it's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything,

-- Thumper (slrldr@yahoo.com), February 22, 2002.


I saw this at work a few months ago, we just laughed so hard I wouldn't ahve believed this had I not. I know many of my old cookbooks have such ideas.

-- Bernice (geminigoats@yahoo.com), February 22, 2002.

Looks a lot like something I read from Afghanistan. Didn't mention the dress code, but very similar.

-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), February 22, 2002.

A lot of it makes good sense though I don't like the tone that men are superior. There are many women who are superior to men intellectually and otherwise.

However, as I read my Bible, God makes it clear that a woman's husband (not another man) is her authority when it comes to leadership and responsibility. A good leader is a good servant. We are called to be servants in general to our neighbor.

Wives are to submit to their husbands authority (not another man's) the husbands are to love the wives as Christ loved the church and laid down his life for it. Seems like the woman above has laid down her life for the husband.

It is a good idea to be prepared for him to come home and make the home a place he would want to be after a stressful day's work.

Thanks for the post snoozy. It probably wouldn't hurt if I put some of it to practice a little more.

-- LBD in Maryland (lavenderbluedilly@hotmail.com), February 22, 2002.


Vicki...I flunked home ec. class :-)!!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), February 22, 2002.

This really is the way things used to be. Submissiveness is still taught by many religions and demanded to be followed. I remember that it wasn't all that many years ago when the police would not respond to a woman being beaten by her husband. The women in our country, the USA, have many more rights than in the past and more than women in most other countries.

I had four years of HomeEc in the 60's and never learned any of this. Of course we were never taught about dinosaurs since that was against religious beliefs. How about that. I had read something like this list once but it was not a home ec textbook but a really old Home & Garden encyclopedia. But this was really a hoot. Thanks for the laughs!! Keep it up! Nita

-- Nita Holstine (nita@phancypages.com), February 22, 2002.



Thanks for the laugh- I love satire!

-- Rebekah (daniel1@itss.net), February 23, 2002.

P.S. Seems like the Bible also has a few words to say about idolatry. ;)

-- Rebekah (daniel1@itss.net), February 23, 2002.

The further I read, the lower my jaw dropped. That had to have been written by a man. I am having a hard time believing the validity of the claim that that was truly part of a textbook in the sixties! Looks more like a guide for concubines.

-- Debbie in MO (risingwind@socket.net), February 23, 2002.

Ok...and the problem is???????????

-- John J (jjj24588@homenet.net), February 23, 2002.

Let's see, there's Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Great Pumpkin, the Tooth Fairy, the Good Wife,...

-- paul (primrose@centex.net), February 23, 2002.

It happens I just read the "Is Society Degenerating" thread before I read this. Funny how nearly everyone agreed in that thread that society is falling apart, but here we all realize that some things have gotten a lot better. Good perspective.

-- Scott in Ohio (scottmcalpine@juno.com), February 23, 2002.

Nita made a good point. I remember back then and if a woman called the police because her DH was beating her, the police sided with the husband. In their eyes, she must have been at fault or he wouldn't be beating her! A lot of what is written was trie in the 60's. I married back then, so I remember. That married ended after 11 years. I can't imagine my DH of almost 25 years expected mje to treat him that way. He has too much respect for himself.

-- Ardie/WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

Once I have stopped laughing...yes, I remember...having been married for almost 50 years. I was so miserable that my husband sent me to college. HIs mother who only finished the 8th grade believed that boys should know how to do "women's work" and vice versa..women should know how to use tools, do taxes, change a tire, very new thinking for that time. But then I grew up on a farm where work was shared and no boys in the family. Now talents can be developed, not restrictive ideas. Wonderful. great grandma

-- n.l. (trooper806@webtv.net), February 23, 2002.

after working a 12 hr shift at the county jail,listening to 145 men fight, whine about someone took their milk,breaking up fights, booking them in and hearing about how they didnt do it while they are covered with blood. being careful not to hurt their pinkie while im' fingerprinting them because they broke it just before they came to jail,etc......... i dont think so.... ha ha hee hee . thats funny

-- cody (urbsuted@alltel.net), February 23, 2002.

I guess I kinda fall in LBDs way of thinking. And while reading this..I was thinking..oooh, my husband works hard..I really should pamper him a bit more. He is so good to pamper me.

There are abusive men..this article does not deal with them...abusive men are not who God was talking about either, right?

I think quite a bit of this is okay. But..my husband wants to know what kinda day I have had and what I did or what I think. Since I am the talkative one(thats no surprise..right?) it would be REALLY quite around here if I left the talking up to him!!

-- Sher is se Iowa (riverdobbers@webtv.net), February 23, 2002.


With the hours that my husband puts in at work....If I put him in a nice soft chair and gave him a drink.....took his shoes off.....All that you would hear would be ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! I think that it is a great idea to have your home be a haven for him when he gets there. Proverbs has a lot of good advice. The whole time I was reading this though....I kept thinking.....wonder what she did during the day? Betcha that she didn't milk cows, till gardens, can her veggies for the year, mow the yard, clean out the coop, doctor the farm animals.....on and on... Think if all we had to do was sit around and look nice all day and then hop to it right before he walked in the door......hmmmmmmmm Now that doesn't sound like such a bad idea.Heeheehee! Nah, I would be bored! Betcha that the woman in Snoozy's post played a lot of bridge and ate a lot of bon bons while her hubby was deciding when to come home!

-- Nan (davidl41@ipa.net), February 23, 2002.

Okay, I confess....my goal is to have a delicious supper on the table (though it might just be soup and bread) have the house and kitchen all tidied and dishes done, and I try to make sure I have decent clothes on and hair combed. If I'm on the phone, unless it is important, I hang up when he gets home, and then I greet him at the door with a kiss. This is the GOAL. Why? BECAUSE THANK GOD HE GOES TO WORK AND I GET TO STAY HOME AND HAVE FUN WITH THE KIDS AND ANIMALS ALL DAY!!! He doesn't expect it, and it only gets done about 3 days a week, but he does enjoy the calmness and warmth and a wife in clean clothes without bedhead.

Oh, and if I really want the guys at work to talk, SOMETIMES SOMETIMES SOMETIMES I cook him a hot breakfast and pack him a fabulous lunch. Then my friend calls and said, "My husband says you've been cooking breakfast and making lunch for your husband again...." but this really is more of a treat. It isn't common I am up when he leaves the house.

SLEEPING IN IS ANOTHER REASON I AM GRATEFUL TO NOT HAVE TO WORK!!!!!

-- marcee (thathope@mwt.net), February 23, 2002.


I had to look up the other meaning of "congress". Gee, I always wondered what I was missing when I didn't take Home Ec in high school. I thought they only taught you how to sew and make brownies. It is very interesting to note how much our culture has changed in the past 30 years. I can't wait to show this to my husband. He'll probably wonder why he got a defective wife.

-- Nancy in Maine (paintme61@yahoo.com), February 23, 2002.

"We've come a long way, baby".

-- Annie (mistletoe6@earthlink.net), February 23, 2002.

I showed this to my wife of 28 1/2 years and she is still LAUGHING!

-- Randall E. Ingram (Parsonrei1@aol.com), February 23, 2002.

Oh gee.....I left home at 17 and started working horse ranches. I don't recall that book laying around anywhere on the dash of my pickup truck!

-- Cindy in KY (solidrockranch@msn.com), February 23, 2002.

While I was reading this, Hubby is cooking breakfast for the family! Love it!!

-- Bren (wayoutfarm@skybest.com), February 23, 2002.

I majored in Home Economics in High School, always wanted to be a Home Economics Teacher....I dare say that the text in this book from the 60's would NOT have been my curriculum choice. I want to make the hubby happy....BUT JEEEEEEEEEZ!

-- Harmony (harmonyfarm57@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

Nancy...I studied Congress in Political Science class. Little did I know that there was a different kind of "congress" being studied in Home Ec :-)!!

I most definitely have a real problem with the statement about not questioning his actions or judgements and the statement that women's interests are trivial compared to men's. Like I said earlier...on what planet????

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), February 23, 2002.


The bible also says"husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church." So taken in perspective we should have balance. I have been both the provider and stay at home mom. I can attest there is no end to the work on a farm and house with 3 kids....so that said, having worn both hats it is easier to go to work and come home and expect that kind of treatment....yet in our society the woman comes home from work and immediately starts household chores or supper. I think all things should be shared. Statistics show children need a little daddy in their lives.

-- Carla (herbs@computer-concepts.com), February 23, 2002.

My loving(ha ha) husband says I should print this out and use it for reference....!!! That'll be the millenium!! I do believe if both husband and wife work,housework,cooking,etc. should be shared.

I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom,so I do all housework (except once in awhile he does the dishes).

Ok,so I admit I'm a little behind right now! LOL

I only threw that last part in because hubby is laughing at the mess in the living room!

-- Johna (marcnjohna@aol.com), February 23, 2002.


What are hair rollers and face cream? Just kidding--very very funny. I do strive for the Biblical wife status, my biggest problem is getting up while it is still dark out. Thanks for the smile.

-- Sharon (spangenberg@hovac.com), February 23, 2002.

Yeah, that whole "up with the dawn" thing really throws me, too. ALthough I guess if I had no clock, worked as hard as the Proverbial wife did, and fell into bed not too long after dark, it might not be so hard. Maybe it's electrical lighting that is the true cause of social degeneration! Without all those lights, people just don't do much after dark!

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), February 23, 2002.

I thought this excerpt was sooooo funny I sent it around. My mother, who was in high school in the 50's and no doubt took Home Ec said she just couldn't believe this was really in a text book. So I went to Snopes.com and checked it out. Although it is possible that Archie Bunker was writing Home Ec textbooks, no one has actually been able to pin down the source of this excerpt. While remotely possible, it is unlikely that this is authentic. Funny though!

Marcia, "congress" is my new word! : ) I'll be looking for opportunities to use it for the next month. But oh! I made a horrible mistake! I asked my husband if he wanted to play congress. He was quick to remind me that it was not proper for me, a mere woman, to initiate any intimate activities. Anyone know where I can rent a congressional costume so I can try for that "look that is welcoming without being obvious"? Maybe we could play "parliament" instead, and I'd get to wear one of those fun wigs!

OK, I'm having too much fun. I'd better go see how I might serve my husband.....

-- Nancy in Maine (Paintme61@yahoo.com), February 23, 2002.


I have been married to the same man for 29years and he would roll over laughing his a-- off if he came home and I was acting like that! My kids were always loud/laughing/playing/runnig/screaming--"Daddy's home--Daddy's home"! First one home brings in wood, starts the fire. If clothes need to be washed we wash them--We are a TEAM...I don't know how it could work any other way!

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), February 23, 2002.

Nancy....hmmmm...congressional costumes! Something to think about! As long as it doesn't involve Victoria's Secret, I'll play dress-up :-)!! This IS getting to be fun!!!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), February 23, 2002.

I think that is ridiculous. To think that back then women actually had to be a slave to the ones they loved. Marriage is something sacred for both men and women. Both are equal and should share in chores, hobbies, and especially feelings. You can't have a long-lasting, loving relationship with someone if you don't let each other know how you feel about something.

-- Heather (heathre872@hotmail.com), February 24, 2002.

On the reality side though. I had always done the tidy up at the last minute wash baby faces, run brush through hair, and supper on when he got home routine. I gotto stay home all day and had certain responsibilitys as he did goiung to work. My dearest freind was at a womens group meeting at her church and they were talking about such nicetys. She was so excited about it. I was looking at her like yah so? I always have. Really????? She said. This was a huge revealtion to her! Balance.

Hubby does take a moment to look at my trivial little hobbies and heaven help him if he should stay out all night! Sheesh...

-- Novina in ND (homespun@stellarnet.com), February 25, 2002.


Hey, thanks for the giggle!! You're gonna hafta prove that this comes from a Home Ec book from the 60's though; I was in high school in the 60's ,and I can assure you we had no such silliness in our texts. Even my very conservative mother would find this a hoot! Perhaps if it came at all from a text, it was more likely closer to the 20's.

-- e (earthmama48@yahoo.com), February 25, 2002.

This excerpt was forwarded to me on the internet, therefore it MUST be true...! In any event, it could not have been written by a woman, that is for sure. I read it to my husband in my best Suzy Homemaker voice, and he had a great giggle. I have enjoyed your responses as well.

-- snoozy (bunny@northsound.net), February 25, 2002.

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