Extract taken from sky sports:-

Chelsea have finally decided to resurface the Stamford Bridge pitch after their less sophisticated attempts to cover the mud met with skipper Marcel Desailly's disapproval.

The Blues resorted to the bizarre measure of painting the rutted surface green to compensate for the shortage of grass, a tactic which left Frenchhman Desailly less than impressed.

He said last week: "The pitch is terrible. I mean, they have been painting the pitch to let us think that the grass is still there.

"We have to look after it. We will try and sort it out because we cannot play. We are a kind of team who likes to play the ball on the floor."

It seems the complaints of Desailly and Chelsea boss Cludio Ranieri, who was caught on camera cursing the threadbare pitch, have been heeded, and a new surface will be in place before their next home fixture on March 6.

Managing director Colin Hutchinson explained: "It is costing £125,000 and will be ready for our next home game against Fulham on March 6. The turf has come from the same fields in Lincolnshire as the Old Trafford resurfacing was taken from. It is like carpets being rolled out."

Got to laugh at Ken Bates. He'll waste millions on a player but he'll try anything to avoid paying out on anything else.

-- Anonymous, February 20, 2002

Answers

Appalling Pitch

-- Anonymous, February 20, 2002

Hang on, Old Truffle's pitch cuts up nearly as bad as St James Park. And wasn't our turf only about £70,000 to lay?

-- Anonymous, February 20, 2002

So if the football's boring at least you can watch the paint dry.

-- Anonymous, February 20, 2002

That reminds me of the early 1970s when Brendan Foster broke the world record for the 3000 metres at the Gateshead Youth Stadium as was. It has the grand title of the International Stadium now. Well the Youth Stadium was a dump and so was the Old Fold estate next to it.
The breaking of the world record is a wonderful thing so the national TV cameras were expected for the big day. Felling MBC were so ashamed of how tatty the whole place was that they painted the slag heap opposite the camera position green to make it look like grass. My granny also got her front door painted with the same green paint.

I was down that way the other week and I noticed the new housing being constructed on the old Old Fold site is called the St. James Estate. I wonder if they picked that name because at one time NUFC wanted to build the new ground there.

-- Anonymous, February 20, 2002

Not everything is better in London Bobby =)

-- Anonymous, February 20, 2002

I know, mate - that's why I moved to where it's always great :-)

-- Anonymous, February 21, 2002

They seem to be doing something to the SJP pitch as it has the dome over it again.

-- Anonymous, February 21, 2002