Eastern Adds Newest Class -

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Eastern Adds Nudist Class

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In a controversial move to enhance security, Eastern Airlines will embark on a nude-only policy on all flights of their Boston-NYC shuttle starting in March.

With the heightened threats since the "Shoe Bomber" episode, and the discovery of explosive laced feminine napkins in an Afghan cave, airline officials charge that the only way to guarantee security is by thoroughly strip searching, probing, and x-raying all passengers.

"We are very concerned for our passengers security and comfort" says Milt Sparks, EAL president. "Our #1 club terminal will be converted to nude-only and contain plush carpet with the heat set to 85".

The airline is also addressing the issue of decorum in flight, requiring all passengers to wear black velvet head bags while disrobed, and remain buckled in their seats with new wrist restraints, in addition to the customary seat belts.

While the airline is presently holding short of taking MRI scans of passengers, they report that CAT scans and blood tests may be performed if a passenger appears suspicious.

-- Anonymous, February 19, 2002

Answers

LOL... be a fun flight :)

-- Anonymous, February 19, 2002

Yeah, I can imagine the cabin attendants in leather uniforms, carrying whips or cat-o-nine-tails in case someone gets unruly.

-- Anonymous, February 19, 2002

I have a friend with a child, a youth with severe school problems. He is now at a special school called New Dominion. Our little jest is that he was persuaded to go there and do his best because we pronounced the name of the school "Nude Ominion."

-- Anonymous, February 19, 2002

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