Anyone for tennis?

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unofficial Newcastle United Football Club BBS : One Thread

Tears to your eyes....especially if you're a male golfer. Not for the squeamish. A late entry for the Darwin awards, one Everitt Sanchez Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own balls in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies up'd the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.

Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2002

Answers

Above Par performance?

Anyone care to make a paragraph that includes the following:

wedge, putt, drive, handicap, tee, chip, better ball (ouch), rough, hook, slice, drop (ouch again!), out of bounds, etc.,

;7)

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2002


Bollox.

I don't know if that story was very interesting Bud, but I gave up reading it before the end of the first paragraph. Despite this precaution I shall remain sitting cross legged for some time yet. :-)



-- Anonymous, February 13, 2002

Crikey - that was a bit of a hairy one Bud.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

That's why we have spare balls!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

Fore???

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002


It even made me flinch and I haven't got any!!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

"....the remaining threesome....!!"

Crikey, how many did the blerk have if he left three behind?

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002


....about 15 pints, with whisky chasers. Shudda put his heed in instead.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002

Ouch

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2002

Moderation questions? read the FAQ