Let's talk about Love, baby.

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So it's almost Valentine's and since the forum has been inactive for such a long time, I figured it was high time we made some noise. So let's talk about Love. My question is a simple one. What, about Love, surprised you most? Had you been expecting less? Had you expected more? What were you never ready for? What have you learned about Love? What are the things they never told you about it? Stories, comments, quotes, entire epics...all responses are welcome. :)

-- Anonymous, February 12, 2002


I was quite taken aback by that overwhelming warm fuzzy sensation that overcomes your lower legs (thus rendering you immobile) and your tummy :)

-- Anonymous, February 12, 2002

I never knew that the ultimate sacrifice with loving someone is hoping and praying that everything would come out all right -- STAYING even when the person you love has just shattered your heart and you're bleeding to death by whatever's left of it. I had always thought that walking away was the bravest sacrifice you could make. I was wrong.

I never expected to ever, ever admit that sometimes love isn't enough. I never believed that. Call me a romantic, but I always thought that love would always make everything all right, even when everything else was falling apart. I was wrong.

I sound depressing, but really, these are enlightening revelations that honestly don't make me feel morose. I just discovered a deeper meaning of love, and I'm glad about that, even when it does get lonely at night, when I remember a certain Scorpio's embrace and know that I may not ever feel that ever again.

But life goes on, and once I meet a nice guy, the memories would fade and all I would do when I think about it is smile. Even then, I know I'd still feel a sharp "love pain," because that Scorpio has been a part of me for so long I won't forget the way we were.

-- Anonymous, February 13, 2002

Security, in Love, surprised me most.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2002

tonight is a good time to answer this question: it hasn't been the best of days, all told. you know what surprises me all the time? that i can have bad days & bad moods, pimples & pms, and they're accepted as temporary conditions - they're not things that matter in the slightest.

above all else, though, i think the biggest things i've learned about love are things i've learned in the past year or so. i've learned that you can love someone who doesn't love you back, and your heart will keep beating. i've learned that someone can love you differently than you love him or her, and it doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship. i've learned that Love, the capital-L kind, is one of those things you really do find when and where you least expect it ... and i'm thinking that maybe the trick isn't to go *looking* for it, but to be *open* to it at every turn.

*smile* i sure am feeling sappy tonight. have you ever seen 'west side story'?

-- Anonymous, February 16, 2002

I come some way since my first love, and today I find that it needs for me to think a bit before I can come up with my truth about love and loving. Thank you for asking this question. I hope my answer helps us, in any way at all. Today, right now, I see love as an attempt to validate myself, which is why a failed attempt is so personal, so gripping. I also see love as different for everyone. When two people meet, are attracted to each other, and have needs that are compatible, then perhaps love can be expected. But love is first of all selfcentric, it begins with the self, and it ends with the self. Even for those who hurt when the other is hurt, they protect the other to keep themselves from being hurt. For those who cry when the other dies, they cry for their selves who have lost the other. I have yet to feel sad for my dead dog because he could not enjoy another can of his favorite dogfood, for instance. Thus, when someone loves me, I accept that this is because that person has to feel a need, and if I love that person back, it is not primarily because I want to feel that need, but because I will feel that need so that my need will be filled. Whatever these needs are, whoever these persons are, this forms the basis of a relationship: reciprocity. One needs to work at love. Falling in love, or instant attraction do happen, but like money, that's easy come easy go. You won't let go so easily of something you worked hard for, of something you invest so much in. I am all out of steam. I am now at the duh stage. Cheerios.

-- Anonymous, March 18, 2002

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