Over the past two weekends I have had to ask a friend to help me haul hay. I do not have a vehicle that can tow or haul anything big these days. I used to have a jeep but had to trade it in for something more economical during the gas crunch a few years back. Anyway, I have to rely on friends, generally men for help. Now guys maybe you can understand this better than the other women out there and maybe I am just a very naive 43 year old. But I have a hard time asking for help without these guys thinking I want something more, or without them thinking I own them something more. I can not afford to hire someone to help so generally I offer a REALLY GOOD home cooked meal, a pair of wool socks, or any help I can offer them. To me this seems like a fair exchange. Buuuuuuttttt....... Usually, I won't say always, these guys seem to expect(?), more! Is it really impossible for men and women to be just friends? I really need the extra help but at what cost?! Any suggestions or advice is appreciated.

Susan

-- Susan in Minnesota (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), January 29, 2002

Answers

Hi Susan I have a similar problem too. Can't get any help with out men reading into it. Also, my female friends don't like to fish, my male friends do, but then want to turn it into some romance? Sherry

-- Sherry (tlnifty@ecenet.com), January 30, 2002.

Sherry, did I read you right? YOU LIKE TO FISH!!!! Hey, you live just south of that famous big walleye factory, dontcha? Do you have an icehouse out there? Do you have a power auger? What's your favorite tip up? Hey, maybe someday we could...ah....ah....forget it. I don't know exactly how to answer Susan's question. It is really hard for most virile single men to have a platonic relationship or friendship with a virile single woman. As a single man, I can honestly say that I have never had a platonic friendship with a single woman of my age (which is 48)....except for my ex-wife. I have had plenty of platonic friendships with married women or old widows, but friendships with single women always seem to develop into something more. I hope that makes sense, I would say it's dern near impossible to have a platonic friendship with a single person of the opposite sex. If you are attracted to that person as a friend, it would be natural that you'd also be attracted to him or her romantically...asuming that you're both single and near the same age, IMHO. I would never expect anything in return if a single gal asked me to help her (nor would I expect anything else in return from anyone who needed my assistance). But the truth of the matter is, when a single guy and gal...who are most of the time pretty dern lonely....work side-by-side doing a task and then afterwards find themselves together alone....well, at least for the guy, hormones start kicking in. Some guys are honorable and keep it under control (I consider myself in that category) other single guys are so dern lonely and desperate that they may not and pressure you. --Happy trails, Cabin Fever

-- Cabin Fever (cabinfever_mn@yahoo.com), January 30, 2002.

So Cabin Fever, does that mean I should stop asking the guys to go fishing? All I want is someone to go fishing with, and my female friends don't care for it like I do. Yes, I do live south of that big lake in the middle of the state, but I haven't been there since last summer.

-- Sherry (tlnifty@ecenet.com), January 30, 2002.

How much dynamite do you use to ice fish?

-- Grizz In Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), January 30, 2002.

Are you asking me or Cabin Fever? I don't need to fish with dynamite, just plain old rod, reel line and bait.

-- Sherry (tlnifty@ecenet.com), January 30, 2002.

Grizz, next time you're in Minnesota I'll take ya ice fishing. We'll drive my pick-up right to my favorite fishing spot....do ya think you can handle that? Ya first gotta promise not to jam any snow down my back for posting that picture of Pee-Wee Herman--HA! I used that same photo as a picture of myself over at another Homesteading site a long time ago. Here's a photo of an icefishing contest that takes place every year up here:



Close to 10,000 people come to this event every year. --Happy trails, Cabin Fever

-- Cabin Fever (cabinfever_mn@yahoo.com), January 30, 2002.

CabinF, Your post with *platonic* in it was REAL good.. Ahmen.

What lake is that a picture of? South of me there's a monster *tip up town* on Houghton lake.....I wont go near it...to dam crowded with drinkin' idiots....

-- Jim-mi (hartalteng@voyager.net), January 30, 2002.

No way!! am i gonna drive on a lake to go fishin!!!My luck the truck would sink!! as far as the snow Naww Im over my period now all is kool! Grizz!

-- Grizz In Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), January 30, 2002.

Hey Grizz! Just south of me during a radar run a week or so ago two semi-trucks filled with snowmobiles went through the ice. I for one have fallen through and it is NOT a fun experience.

Susan

-- Susan in Minnesota (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), January 30, 2002.

Setting on Ice!! inthe middle of a dam lake !! Thousands of people!! You call that fun?? I tryed snomobiling once!! Coldst 5 min off my life!! As for me A warm cabin A fire in the fireplace good music jug of hard cider pot of beans and a good woman to share it with sure beats that!! LoL GRIZZ!

-- Grizz In Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), January 31, 2002.

Hey Grizz, Maybe if you dress for those outside things you wouldn't get so cold!!

-- Sherry (tlnifty@ecenet.com), January 31, 2002.

Ok let me get this ice fishing thing straight!! You drive out on the ice!! You invite 10000 frends to join you!! You chop a hole in the ice!!! you get a big rock tie to the dinamite lite the fuse drop it in the hole and as it blows up the fish fly out of the hole were the other people are !!! Dam that would be fun!!

-- Grizz In Western Maryland (southerneagle@yahoo.com), January 31, 2002.

Well Griz, you almost got it right, except for the dynamite part. In MN we like to do it at a slower pace, wait for the fish to bite on the hook. But your idea sounds quicker!

-- Sherry (tlnifty@ecenet.com), January 31, 2002.

Hey why don't you explain to Grizz about spearing and dark houses.

Susan

-- Susan in Minnesota (nanaboo@paulbunyan.net), January 31, 2002.