1. Undoubtedly the top story in the current issue is that BatBoy has been dispatched to Argentina to lay some discipline on their sorry asses.

2. Dentist Jacob Keilstein, when faced with patients who can't stand needles, dons boxing gloves and knocks them out the old fashioned way.

3. Some bald men (hundreds in fact) are wearing scullcaps implanted with chia seeds. A typical happy recipient of this treatment is Rodney, who is very happy that he is now taunted "Hey, shrub head" rather than "Hey, baboon butt."

-- Anonymous, January 28, 2002