I am not Catholic, although my husband is. We married in August 2001. In the beginning, everything was wonderful. He was the greatest man I'd ever met. Granted, that's not a lot because I am only 23. My husband is 35. That is a big difference, I know. We were only married for 3 months when I started realizing that my husband was lying to me. Things he would say and do didn't add up. I found out that he'd lied to me about everything. From his profession to small things like his driver's license being suspended. He had me driving him all over the place. Anyway, he is now incarcerated for his lies and deception. Not to me, but someone else. I recently talked with a girl whom I had met through my husband. She has known him much longer than I have. She told me she thought he'd been married a couple times before me. I did not know this. So a couple questions...#1-how do I find out if he has been married before. And 2- if he has been married, would he have had to have those marriages annulled also? (I have heard that the Catholic religion does not believe in divorce) So I guess now there is a 3rd question-if he was married, did not get a divorce or annullment, would our marriage be legal or even legitimate? Thank you to anyone who may have advice or know where I can turn to. Thank you and God Bless!!

-- Alyssa Srdich (akwatson48@yahoo.com), January 28, 2002

Answers

Jmj

Hello, Alyssa.
It made me sad to read about the difficulties through which you are suffering, through no fault of yours.

In answer to your questions:

"1-how do I find out if he has been married before."
I don't know, but I'm sure that someone else here can help you. I think that it may be beneficial if you could mention the name of the country and smaller jurisdiction (state/province) in which you live.

"And 2- if he has been married, would he have had to have those marriages annulled also?"
Yes.

"So I guess now there is a 3rd question-if he was married, did not get a divorce or annullment, would our marriage be legal or even legitimate?"
If he got divorced, your "union" would be legal in the eyes of the civil law, but not in God's eyes; the Catholic Church would not recognize it. If he did not even get divorced, then he would be guilty of bigamy (or worse) in the civil law.

God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), January 29, 2002.

Alyssa, Did your husband attend Mass anywhere? Was he a practising Catholic? If he was, the Church would have the records, and you could go that route. If he just said he was Catholic, and didn't go to church anywhere, chances are he didn't get married in the Church. In that case, you could go to your county courthouse, and look up the records there. UNLESS he moved around a lot, the records wouldn't be too hard to find. I hope this helps you. I am so sorry this has happened to you. Please realize that all men are not like this.

-- Judy in IN (whileaway3@cs.com), January 29, 2002.