I am going to be conducting an etiquette class for my 4th graders class at school. We will study some high points and at the end of two weeks, we are taking the kids out to eat lunch. They get to dress up and use their manners in public. My oldest did this in 3rd grade and had a ball. The teacher taught that class, but I have volunteered for this one. Does anyone have any suggestions on topics that should be covered? I have planned on table manners, introductions and proper ways to address others. After having read another thread on CS we may also cover the correct way to treat a customer and how to count change back!! Thanks ahead of time.

-- Ivy in NW AR (balch84@cox-internet.com), January 17, 2002

Answers

I have some things at school. I teach speech communication / business communication, and part of my curriculum is restaurant etiquette. Do you want copies of my materials?

-- Rose (open_rose@hotmail.com), January 17, 2002.

Telephone etiquette might be a good area to cover, and maybe even touch on safety issues there also, since so many kids are left alone between school and mom/dad getting home these days.

-- Christine in OK (cljford@mmcable.com), January 17, 2002.

"How to order a meal" perhaps ought to be one of them. It used to drive me bananas when my kiddos were small and we took their friends out occasionally to dinner with us. My kids were taught to be very polite to the waitress/waiter, and not to make them stand there and wait while they decided and changed their minds, etc. etc. They had a few friends who would sit there and say (while the waitress was waiting and WAITING), uh, let me see..hmmm, well maybe I'll have a cheeseburger..no, wait, a hot dog, er, no, wait.....folks ought to be ready to order or ask politely for the server to give them a little more time. Also to say please and thank you to the person taking your order. Good luck, it sounds like a nice idea.

-- lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), January 17, 2002.

It is not nice to stick used gum on a plate for the waitperson to take away--yes I have seen this.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), January 18, 2002.

PLEASE and THANK YOU and YOU'RE WELCOME would all be helpful (it seems they should know this already, but they don't always)

Also, I wish children were taught to WRITE THANK YOU NOTES to those who give them gifts - that's one of my pet peeves

-- hmm (h.m.metheny@att.net), January 18, 2002.

My kids went to one where the teacher taught them how to stand. That may sound funny, but it is hard to stand still for more than a minute and sometimes kids have to do it--like on stage waiting for an award, or waiting for the choir concert to begin.

She said, "This is how the First Ladies stand" with their feet in kind of a modified "V". They don't shift from foot to foot or wiggle or rock. Watch on TV sometimes and you will see. Now my kids always notice that when they see a first lady.

The American Girls book on manners is VERY helpful.

Here are some other thoughts: How to answer the telephone. How to be excused at the table (never" I have to go to the bathroom" should be "may I be excused"), honoring committments (big one at this age-- you don't blow off a prior committment because a new, exciting one comes along), NEVER comment on the home you are in (even when it's true: "Something smells funny", "why is your house a mess")

This is a simple one but really a good one. Here in the south, children are taught to say Yes, Maam or No, Sir after being addressed by an adult. Basically, Not everyone in the world does this, but the point is--to answer, to acknowledge that someone has spoken to you ALWAYS! This is really a parent/child communication saver because you know the child has heard and understood and it prevents the parent from having to say things twice or seeking out the child to find out if they understood. BTW: how about yelling for someone or communicating over distances in a loud voice.

Funny about the CS thread about customers and cashiers.

-- Ann Markson (tngreenacres@hotmail.com), January 18, 2002.

I second the part about the gum. I've worked in scullery in college; forgotten gum made an awful mess in the hot dishwasher. You might want to let a few of the children chew gum the day you go out so they can practice what to do with it.

We usually remember "Please" and "Thank you"; how about "Your welcome"? Practice these when passing things.

"Yes, ma'am" and "No, sir" are polite no matter what section of the country.

Then there are "Pardon?" or "Excuse me?" instead of "What?" and "Huh?"

Put your napkin on your lap and eat with one hand. Put your silverware down before passing something. Don't talk with your mouth full or eat with your knife. If you are using straws, don't slurp the last little bits. Cover your mouth when you burp, and say, "Excuse me." Don't laugh or be crude when you or someone else burps or passes gas. Don't stare or point fingers at other customers.

Say "Yes, please" or "No thank you" when asked if you'd like something.

Keep your hands on your lap until everyone has been served and the waitress has emptied her tray.

Don't make rude remarks about the food. If you don't like it, try to eat it anyway. If you think it's really good, say so when the waitress comes by and asks if everything is okay.

When she comes by, if you want something (like a refill of drink), say, "May I please have....?"

Enjoy yourself, and think about what would make others around you happy.

Now, if you REALLY want to be polite and chivalrous, have the boys seat the girls:o)

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), January 18, 2002.

Great idea, and it sounds fun for the kids. Another topic that might be covered is how to act in public when in groups. So many times, I have seen well behaved children when with their family, turn into yelling, wild baboons when with a large group of peers. I know kids will be kids, but manners should apply at all times, not just when the parents or guardians are around.

-- j.r. guerra in s.tx. (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), January 18, 2002.

I also agree with teaching phone etiquette. It is NOT proper, after the person says "hello" to say "Joe (or Jane)?" or "Is this "your name"?

You are ALWAYS supposed to say, "Hello, this is (caller's name) with (name of business if applicable), may I speak with so and so please?"

Definitely one of the quick ways to determine if a caller is a telemarketer, because for the most part they have no phone manners. I have also corrected my older one's friends on this as well, and have told her that if her friends can't be bothered to identify themselves, they would NOT be allowed to speak with her, as it is MY phone, not hers.

I also tell the local telemarketers (they seem to think that "do not call" doesn't apply to them) that they MUST be shady businesses because if they were so great, that I'D be calling THEM! That statement often shocks them into speechlessness for a while before they hang up.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), January 18, 2002.

The first thing I would recommend teaching is to have the children always respond with an appropriate "yes sir" or "no sir" or "yes maam" or "no maam". Table manners are also important. Our kids know that they must wear a napkin at mealtimes. We always have them wear one across the lap but, we also require them to tuck a paper napkin in their shirt collar when they are wearing nice clothing or when they eat messy foods like spaghetti.

-- tom jenkins (tdjenkins@aol.com), August 04, 2002.

I insist that my children always respond to each and every adult with an appropriate "yes sir" "no sir" or "yes maam" "no maam". They must do this at home, school, and at friends and relatives homes.

-- Tom Shumpert (Tom35@aol.com), September 11, 2002.