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THE SMALL BANK where I work has only one drive-in window. In order to keep the line moving, customers with lengthy transactions are required to do their banking inside. Once a woman drove up to the window and asked for a cashier's check. "You'll have to come in for that," I told her. And she did leaving her car still parked in the drive-in lane. -- Contributed to Reader's Digest "All In a Day's Work" by Sharon Hancock

"We have 4,000 restaurants today, but if I had gotten my high school diploma, we might have 8,000." - Dave Thomas

A gentleman, fresh out of gift ideas, bought his mother-in- law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he bought her nothing.

She was quick to comment, loud and long, on his thoughtlessness. The gentleman said only one thing - "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year."

Quick Wit

My 3 year old son put his shoes on by himself. I noticed that they were on backwards.

I said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."

He looked up at me with a raised brow and said " Don't kid me Mom, I KNOW they're my feet!"

shamelessly lifted from TB@ from Dan V and Senses On:::

Where do the Chinese keep their Armies?

In their little sleevies.


What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.


Why did Cave Men drag their women around by the hair?

If they drug 'em around by their feet, they'd fill up with dirt.


A Priest, a Rabbi and a Mullah walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"


Two women are talking and one says to the other, "Hey, I saw your husband downtown buying you a beautiful bouquet of flowers today."

The other one says, "Oh shit, that means he's going to expect me to be on my back with my legs up in the air for the next 2 weeks."

The first one looks puzzled and says, "Why don't you just use a vase?"

Dan V.

__________________ Who me? No, it was like that when I got here.


Virginity like bubble: one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth. but next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

-- Anonymous, January 16, 2002



-- Anonymous, January 16, 2002

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