Evil Manc virus warning

Be on the lookout for a new breed of 'Evil Manc' computer viruses. They could seriously affect / infect your PC.

Virus name and what it does: 1) The Manchester United Virus - This where the computer develops a memory disorder and forgets about every thing before 1993. 2) The Manchester United shirt virus - This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every three months. 3) The David Beckham virus - This affects newer computers mainly.The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but nothing works. 4) The Roy Keane virus - Throws you out of Windows. 5) The Alex Ferguson virus - The computer develops a continuous whining noise. The on screen clock runs a lot slower than all the other computers in the building. 6) The Andy Cole (or should that be the Dwight York) virus - The computer is unable to get a thing into the Inbox. 7) The Ryan Giggs virus - The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.

8) The Fabien Barthez virus - You just can't save anything.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

Answers

The LR virus. Everything is red.

The LR virus II. Computer jumps over the wall and runs wild.

-- Anonymous, January 14, 2002

Surely #1 is a bit hypocritical!

And yes it applies to us circa 1998.

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002