Mysteries of life...

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Beyond the Sidewalks : One Thread

In the shower this evening, I started pondering one of life's great mysteries;

Why do you never use up the bottle of conditioner at the same time you finish up the bottle of shampoo?

Any others?

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2002

Answers

Why do hotdogs come in packages of 10 and buns come in packages of 8?

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2002

Why is the last bite of the cheeseburger never the right size. Its either so big, you look like your gorging yourself or its too small and your fingers go inside your mouth ?

What is it about standing naked in a porcelain tub with hot water running down our backs that makes our thinking processes go into deep mode to where the answers of the universe beacon us? Well the shower and the toilet for me. Sorry Polly you directed me in that one, otherwise I wouldn't go there, even though I have thought it every shower Ive taken for the last couple of years :>)

Why are people so shocked when an inmate escapes death row? If I,m on death row and you tell me you got a plan, I don't care how stupid it is, I'm in. :>)

Why do people say "the rain is sure coming down". Yea, thats what it does. I would worry and say something if it was hanging there suspended or going up. That would mean gravitational pull was lost and the day cows (and everything else )was flying was here and we got more to talk about than the weather.

Why do curling irons have warnings saying for external use only? Ouch, I aint geetin on that train :>o

Why do toasters carry the warning "do not use this product in or near a bathtub"? Dad nabbit, thats where I like eating my gooey peanut butter toast.

Why are shipping crates labeled "do not stack over three high" and "not to be on bottom of pallet" on the same box.

Why do drive up atm machines have braille keypads and visual displays?

Why, WHy, WHY you may ask? I can tell you why , SOCIETY IS STOOPID.

Thanks for the fun, hope my stand up rant was entertaining . Time for a martini and a five olive switzel.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2002


Why, if a horse has a whole acre free run, do they have to go into their run-in shed to go to the bathroom? Are they shy?

Why, if a goat has a large area to run in, does it always seem that there are always nanny berries in their water bucket? And always when it is full?

Why, if the neighbor's dog is allowed to run the neighborhood, does it always seem he does his doody right next to your driver's side car door? And you realize it as you are driving with the heat on?

Sorry, guess I'm in a crappy frame of mind right now.

-- Anonymous, January 11, 2002


Why is it that right after shampooing my favorite white 9x10 rug in my bedroom, one of my cats HAS to deposit a hairball on it spread out in several "piles". After all...the house is a 24x40 two story! ANY other place would have been better!!!

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Why is it that when someone seated in a chair is asked "Is this seat taken?" about the empty chair next to them, that they always have to look at the empty seat first to make sure no one has magically appeared before they say "No."

Why is it that you get a blank look when someone comes up to you and gestures to that same empty chair and asks "Is this seat saved?" and you reply "Well, if Thomas Aquinas argued that Animals have no Souls, how much less chances does an inanimate object have of salvation?"

(okay that was obscure...)

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002



Obsscure , yes. but still a deep thought.

Why do they call it the EPT home pregnancy test? Maybe to diffirentiate from the older version Ept public through fare pregnancy test that could only be accurate in crowded malls?

this thread is more fun than those short films on SNL :>)

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002


Why is it that no one calls for days, until you just have your hair all gooped up with shampoo, then the phone rings and rings and rings.....

No one else home, no answering machine (we can't stand them!!!) and the old housecat refuses to get the phone, says it's beneath her to do so.

Water does attract electricity ;-).

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002


LOL!! Julie, I can't wait 'til the next time someone asks me if a seat is saved!

Why is it that jobs that seem imperative in the summer when you have absolutely NO time to do them (like cleaning and organizing cabinets so things don't fall on your head!) totally fade in importance once winter sets in and you have the time to do them!?

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002


Another one of my questions about the great mysteries of life..."why is is some days I feel like running laps, and other days I feel so dang OLD!!??"

-- Anonymous, January 12, 2002

Julie, you've got me laughing out loud!!

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2002


Why is it that you get a blank look when someone comes up to you and gestures to that same empty chair and asks "Is this seat saved?" and you reply "Well, if Thomas Aquinas argued that Animals have no Souls, how much less chances does an inanimate object have of salvation?"

(okay that was obscure...)

But likely to make sure the seat STAYS vacant! ;-)

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2002


O.K., Here is mine,

Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

Why is there brail at drive up ATM's?

Why do they have life presearvers instead of parachutes in airplanes?

WHY does the guy next to me in Psych. class take garlic daily and not bother with antiperspirent or deoderent?? Hasn't he at least heard of baby powder??? Ugh??

Why can my husband wait all day until the moment I sit at the computer and get on-line to decide he must make an importent phone cal??

Why do things go on sale the day AFTER I buy them????

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2002


Moderation questions? read the FAQ