I have been a single mom for 9 years now. My husband left me for another woman and with a 6 month old, 1 and 1/2 year old and a 3 year old. I was residing in Germany at the time and now reside in Japan. When I arrived in Japan (after being divorced for 4 years), I went to the Chapel to try to get an annulment. There just happens to be no proof anywhere of me and my x-husband being married. It seems to be a horrible thing. I have submitted papers on my x-spouse adultry case in the military, abuse thru the police station, he married a couple months after our divorce, the court house has no proof of our marraige, and the Catholic Arch Diasis has no proof. Again, this annulment began 5 years ago! I finally found someone that I would like to marry and we now have been waiting 3 years for this annulment that seems to never come. I cannot provide anymore evidence and I have already gone through 3 Priest trying to get this annulment. Unfortunately, the person that I am with is in the military and will be moving soon, therefore, if we don't get married will be seperated. Where is the justice in this matter. The Priest actually told me to go ahead and get married and finish the annulment later...what am I waiting for???? No matter what, without the annulment I am pretty much cast out of the Catholic Faith, because I will be sinning...I think my boyfriend has been very patient, but this situation seems a bit far out~!

I hope you have a good answer for this problem....

-- Sharon StephensonPino (c013h@cfay.navy.mil), January 10, 2002

Answers

> "The Priest actually told me to go ahead and get married and finish the annulment later...what am I waiting for????"

Well that is questionable advice coming from a Priest, as you may never get your annulment, and you may be married to your husband in the eyes of God, unless a reason is found, that says you were never married.

I see that you were treated unfairly here, and you have my sympathy, but your spouse leaving you is not grounds for an annulment, as I am sure you have been told.

> "No matter what, without the annulment I am pretty much cast out of the Catholic Faith, because I will be sinning."

I agree life is unfair, and you may have to make some tough choices here, but do whatever it takes to try and finish the annulment process and abide by it's decision.

I will pray for you. God Bless.

-- G Vink (gordonvink@bigfoot.com), January 10, 2002.

Jmj

Hello, Sharon.
I think that you may be interested in reading about the St. Joseph Foundation, which I mentioned to a questioner on another thread (http://greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=007ci4) earlier today.

Perhaps the folks at SJF will have advice or hands-on aid for you.

But I have to say that something here is not making sense. Sharon, please go back and read your opening post. Please notice that you did not say where you got married (city and country) nor what kind of church it was (Catholic or other) nor what kind of clergyman witnessed the vows. If you have all those pieces of information, then you must be able to provide them to a tribunal.

That's why I can't understand your statement that "There just happens to be no proof anywhere of me and my x-husband being married. ... the court house has no proof of our marraige, and the Catholic Arch Diasis has no proof." Is someone claiming that the papers never existed or that they were lost?
You also stated: "my x-spouse ... married a couple months after our divorce ..." But how could there have been a divorce unless there is proof of a marriage. The court that handled your divorce will have that proof (e.g., a license, date and place of marriage, etc.)
So once you have the right documentation, a tribunal can proceed. Without documentation, how can you expect a tribunal even to believe that you ever exchanged vows? If they don't believe that, they have no way to start determining if your vows were valid or not.

If you really were married, but all papers have been lost or destroyed, then I would think that you could contact your bishop directly to discuss whether or not he has the power to grant an extraordinary approval of your contemplated marriage.

God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), January 10, 2002.

I agree with last post. There has to be a priest or clergyman that married you. DIdnt you get a marriage certificate?>?> What about blood test before the marriage. ( it does happen in some states still).If this happened in Germany, wasnt there a church you got married in ? A priest? Start with that.. Something doesnt seem right here. Good luck to you..The process takes abouta yr. and it canget very emotionally draining with all the questions.. but hey if they handed out annulments to everyone.... welll.. everyone would be getting divorced alot faster..They cantmake it that simple ..Its a long and grueling process. Good luck to you.. I am grateful that my annulment was granted.

-- A (amb_34@yahoo.com), January 10, 2002.

Sharon: In some ways, I hope the man in your life is gone, because I have admired you for a long time. You are someone for whom I see an inner beauty as well as your outer beauty. I often think and dream about you, but am afraid to approach you. Please write me.

experimental13@hotmail.com

-- Afraid to say (experimental13@hotmail.com), December 09, 2002.

Yes, I don't understand either the post here said was divorced yet seeking anulment, well, to me the divorce is enough and should get married and anything else can be handled. Yes, so long and sometimes anulment is not given, i think it comes more to love and what one feels is right then holding faith..

Im going through a ruff divorce as well, its over now, but i didnt want it, my ex wifes family caused it, was attacking from day one, ..

I am glad you found another man, and i know if the love is strong he will wait and be there for you however long it takes, but if it was me i would marry..

Again glad you found someone, i dont think i ever will again, and dont know if i can ever get over my ex anyway.

Good luck..

-- Michael (EcoGreenWorld@Netscape.net), December 29, 2002.

Michael, you wrote: "Again glad you found someone, i dont think i ever will again, and dont know if i can ever get over my ex anyway."

I hope that you don't find anyone else, because you have shown a willingness directly to enter into a "remarriage" and (objectively speaking) into the mortal sin of adultery. You wrongly have no use for the "nullity process."

-- (Don't@Damn.Yourself), December 29, 2002.