This question was raised on my earlier thread, and since there are probably as many different opinions on this as there are homeschoolers, I thought it might be helpful to share them here.

Most of our children started at 4 or 5 years of age, but I have one boy who was not ready until he was almost seven. Boys tend to be ready later than girls, but not always. Some boys are quick, some girls are started later. I try to look at overall maturity, not just academic readiness. My oldest was able to learn to read at 4 and a half, however, he was so wiggly that we could not do much at a time. Also, I have read of studies that show a relationship between a lower compulsory attendence age and an earlier need for eyeglasses. Before age 7 or 8, a school "day" (meaning what we think of as desk work) should not last longer than 45 minutes to an hour. We do only phonics/reading and math at this age, saving the other subjects for fourth grade level and higher.

-- Cathy N. (keeper8@attcanada.ca), January 07, 2002

Answers

Thank you, Cathy!

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 07, 2002.

Two of mine started by three with the alphabet cards, moving on quickly to the Blue Back Speller. But I never pushed them to read or do schoolwork of any kind that young. We did it because they brought me the cards, and said, what is this, so I'd tell them, that's B, B is for Baby, etc. They just thought it was a game. Eventually, they were doing the alphabet page in the front of the book. We'd do it together, maybe once a day(takes only a few minutes), and we stayed at that beginning page for a long time.

These two both read early and well. Karen is five, reading second grade readers, and loves it. She has also started this year with some first grade Abeka seatwork books: Math, Language, Writing with Phonics, and Letters and Sounds. But she doesn't do everything every day. We're still kind of casual about it. She still is able to enjoy her work.

I remember thinking when Jacob was a toddler that it seemed almost natural for him to be learning to read and spell almost as he learned to talk. It was like when he learned how to say something, he liked to see the word. He's my best speller today, sometimes telling the older boys how to spell things.

-- mary (marylgarcia@aol.com), January 07, 2002.

Oh thank you, Cathy! I was beginning to think I must be the either the worlds worst mother or worst homeschooler! My son is 5 yrs old and we homeschool. Of course everyone thinks we are nuts and severely damaging this child for homeschooling him. He is very very active and just simply has no desire to learn his alphabet nor a desire to learn to read. We are only doing homeschool about 45 min to an hour a day and on days that he is just too active or seems unconcerned we just forget school for that day or play some related games. He is very smart and figures out that the "games" are learning and he wants no part of it! Everyone says "well, other kids go to school all day and do fine"!

Everyone keeps telling me he needs to be in school and should know all of his alphabet by now and should be reading - so he should be in regular school. I keep saying, he is just not ready for school and who says age equals readiness, anyway?

I don't want him to grow up stressed, frustrated, and thinking everything he does has to be perfect or up to someone else's standards. Above all, I want him to enjoy being a little boy rather than a little man. You have to be an adult quick enough - and forever! Thanks again for the encouragement!

-- Karen (db0421@yahoo.com), January 08, 2002.

If Melinda could homeschool, her son would probably be right on schedule with public schools for academics, but I've never seen a kid so co-ordinaated and he's almost always colored 'in the lines' Jalynn on the other hand is 3 1/2 and alredy now how to count to 12 maybe higher, knows her alphabet, she can reason very well and has a little too much curiosity for her own good:~} She likes to see how things work and what will happen next.

I have a friend that homeschooled her kids, they're all grown now. Most of them were early or on time, but the one boy didn't read well, so she didn't push it. He started really reading at about 12 and hasn't stopped since. I think she was very wise not to push.

-- Cindy (SE. IN) (atilrthehony@hotmail.com), January 08, 2002.

Karen, Your relatives should thank God you are homeschooling your son. No offense to any teachers out there, but in many areas kids like yours are labeled ADHD or worse. We live in a small rural community where you wouldn't think you'd see much of this, but it happens here all too often.

A neighbor of ours has 2 young kids and on (rare) occasions took them to a daycare center here. The kids, a girl, then 4, and a boy, then 2, were "tested" and the mother was told the boy was definately ADHD and the girl was borderline. She was told they would be a real problem in school and would need to be put on Ritalin! Mom told them that was bologney and that she would never put her kids on that medication. They promptly informed her that the school would recommend it, and if she refused, she would be charged with neglect, etc. etc. ad nauseum. As for the schools here, I know for a fact they will do things with the kids w/o the parents knowledge, including getting medical treatment, using the public health dept. (birth control, etc.) mental health dept. etc. My own kids spent most of their years in public school but things have changed drastically. Even most of the good teachers agree, and many are taking early retirement and getting out rather than deal with what's going on. I have cared for these 2 children extensively, and I assure you the boy especially is FAR from any ADD type behavior. He is the happiest, most easy going, laid back kid you ever saw. The girl is the more active of the two, but not in any way "hyperactive". Both kids have great attention spans for their ages. The girl was reading by age 3, and now at age 5 is doing second grade work or better in all subjects. (Mom had worked with them at home just for fun, and now actively homeschools although only a short time each day.) The boy could even communicate in sign language at 2, and now at 3 is just starting to read, mostly from observing his sister. Both kids are well socialized, go to church, help with community service, etc. They are well behaved and know how to sit quietly. I don't know HOW this "testing" gave the people the idea these kids were hyperactive, but it couldn't be farther from the truth. I know these kids will never see the inside of a public school, mom is now a confirmed homeschooler.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 08, 2002.

Sorry about the lack of paragraphs in my earlier post, I did put them in but apparently didn't hit the space bar enough times.

My oldest daughter could count to 18 by age 18 mo. She knew all her alphabet at age 2 and could write short sentences at 2 1/2. I hadn't even heard of homeschooling at that point, I mainly just read a lot to her and we would count the animals in the story, etc. I put her in pre-school part time, just to keep her busy, and she drove the teachers crazy trying to think up things for her to do. When she started kindergarten (at age 6 due to a late birthday) she was terribly excited because she thought she was going to learn a lot. She spent most of the year coming home from school crying because they did nothing but play. I volunteered at the school at least one day a week. Her teacher had one full time aide, plus at least 2 parent volunteers coming in and helping out daily. The teacher spent most of her time in the teachers lounge with the rest of the teachers. At the end of the year, the kindergarten kids had only covered half the alphabet. I remember one beautiful little Hispanic girl who was shy and needed encouragement. When the teacher was in class, she frequently got angry with this girl and labeled her "slow", which was definately not true, all she needed was a bit of extra attention.

Those of you who teach, or have relatives who teach, please don't get angry. I KNOW this is not the case everywhere, or with all teachers. But unfortunately, it is becoming all too common, and is ONE of the reasons more people are choosing to homeschool. And yes, I'm aware there are parents who should never homeschool either!

My point is that most parents know what is right for THEIR children, and I hope those of you who are being browbeat for homeschooling your kids don't give in to pressure from outsiders who don't know anything about your kids. Hang in there, Karen! I might add that my other kids didn't take off early like my eldest - but they did just as well in school. :) Each child is different, which is why I was asking how you tell when a child seems "ready" to start learning.

-- Lenette (kigervixen@webtv.net), January 08, 2002.

Lenette, ADD and ADHD have become the way for lazy teachers to manage their classrooms. Also, if parents feel they HAVE to volunteer in order to keep an eye on things, that doesn't say much for the schools at all. I hope they require all of those volunteers to get background checks as well.

My little one will probably be going next year to kindergarten. She'd have gone this year except for a late birthday. The county wanted ME to pay $75 for a psychological test (I am not joking), and I then said, okay she passes and she's in. But no, they said the results would go to the district and a committee would go over the records, and they could still refuse to take her for any reason. So I asked if the test price was going to be refunded and was told NO. Not that I could understand the need for testing, UNLESS it was to determine how high she could count, etc., and it wasn't. I am sure any competent (and there are many) teacher could sit down with any child for 10 minutes and with a short chat determine that a child is ready. So there was no reason to go through with the test anyway.

As soon as someone asks me about volunteering. I am going to sweetly reply, "if things are so bad, then perhaps I should homeschool. Are you telling me the schools are unsafe? No offense, but I shouldn't have to be doing your job." By the way, how come you and the other parents didn't report the absent teacher to the school authorities? Or did you and nothing happened? Maybe time for an undercover media report. That teacher should have been fired!

Sorry that sounds harsh, but teaching is a very well-paid job for working only 9 months out of the year, having great benefits and paid holidays. Your statement about teachers spending time in the lounge a good deal of the time while uncredentialed (and not police background checked in many cases either) people are with the children in a school setting (credentials are important in the school setting--not applicable to homeschooling) really irks me.

On the testing issue, I hope the person you wrote about sued the daylights out of the daycare center for practicing medicine without a license, because that was EXACTLY what it was doing. The school should also be put on notice as well--last time I checked, except perhaps for the school nurse (who rarely sees the kids, and certainly not for any extended length of time deemed necessary for a proper diagnosis--not to mention that really only doctors are licensed to practice), NONE of those people have medical degrees. Just a thought.

-- GT (nospam@nospam.com), January 08, 2002.

Good post Cathy! This is the first year that I've homeschooled my son. I so wish we would have done it from day one. All I ever heard was that he could never pay attention. He didn't interrupt anyone, mind you, he was just off somewhere daydreaming, or playing with his pencil, or whatever was on his desk. Maybe they were just boring the daylights out of him. He seems to be doing fine now.

And that volunteer thing. Oh, they try to make you feel like a bad parent if you are not there at school the whole day. Do they realize some of us have elderly parents that need help, or other little ones at home, or hey, who is going to take care of the garden and animals? It's much better for Kyle to bring along his Algebra and Science book to his grandmother's and do his lessons and then help with cleaning or yard work. After he is done with school work for the day at home, he splits wood, or helps plant garden or harvest, or helps his dad on a home remodeling project. I sure wish I would have realized all of this sooner.

-- vicki in NW OH (thga76@aol.com), January 08, 2002.

Has anyone else noticed the P S kids that wear the ADHD label are angry and agressive? Has anyone wondered what they would be like if they were allowed to be themselves, in a learning environment that fits their learning style and adapts to their high energy needs?

I have one. Even as a baby, she couldn't hold still to nurse properly! She is ALWAYS happy, singing and dancing. She is so INTERESTING. She is slow with developmental stages and we have not forced her into anything she was not physically capable of doing, especially sitting still and whipping the pencil. She is 7 and just now able to do the Art projects my other kids were doing at 2 and 3 years old. She learned to count and do the alphabet while jumping on a trampoline. She is learning simple math by counting chickens. Learning to read may still be a year or two away, when she is ready.

Where does she excell? Her horsemanship skills rival those of her 17 year old sister. Both on the ground and on their backs, she has full command. She makes up funny skits and stories and likes to make people laugh. She always has a BIG smile, a hug and a kiss for anyone who wants one. These are things that wouldn't be permitted for developmment in a conventional classroom.

Every child is different and they all challenge our creativity in teaching. It doesn't matter if they are intellectually advanced or developmentally behind. I believe one of the most important things a homeschool parent needs is support and encouragement of other homeschool families who will tell you, "It's okay if you wait until they are 9 to teach reading. It's not like you're sending them off to college in diapers!"

-- Laura (Ladybugwrangler@hotmail.com), January 08, 2002.

Loved your post Laura, sounds like you have a very fortunate and happy little girl, I am puzzled by the P S in the beginning of your post??? Pre-school (I think not...)

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 08, 2002.

Oh I am so embarrassed as I have figured out it is Public Schooled

-- Melissa (me@home.net), January 08, 2002.

Oh I'm sorry, Melissa. I rarely use abbreviations because I know how confusing they are! I think I will stick to spelling things out in the future.

-- Laura (Ladybugwrangler@hotmail.com), January 08, 2002.

It occurred to me that since I talked about my early readers, I should have mentioned they were two out of six.

I agree that each child is different. And that one of the wonderful things, as well as one of the greatest challenges, about homeschooling is that the parent can recognize and work with those differences. Who but the parent will pray over each child and what is best for him or her in his learning?

-- mary (marylgarcia@aol.com), January 09, 2002.