I am a Baptist and was divorced last year. My fiance' is Catholic and so is his family. What do I have to do for our marriage to be recognized by his Church? We would like to be married right away so we will be going away to be married. We would like to renew our vows in his church in the future though. Will the church accept our marriage or will they not recognize it at all?

-- Jessica Dawn Thomas (jthomas@kardex.com), January 07, 2002

Answers

Jmj

I'm sorry to be the bearing of tidings that you won't like, Jessica, but ...

The Catholic man whom you would like to marry is not permitted to be engaged to you just yet. He is not really your fiance, though I understand why you call him that.

Since the Catholic Church assumes that your previous marriage was valid until its invalidity can be proved, your friend and I are required to think of you as still married in God's eyes. (Divorces are not recognized, except as civil procedures. They have no ability to separate what God has joined.)

Naturally, then, it is not possible for the two of you to be married until such time as the Catholic Church examines the facts of your current "union" to determine if it was a valid sacramental marriage or null and void (leaving you free to marry your friend).

I know that you wish to get married soon, but that will not be possible, because what you will enter into will itself be null and void -- and you will be entering into an adulterous relationship (if you have not already begun one).

As a fellow Catholic of your friend, I ask you to tell him to follow our Church's marriage laws and to delay the beginning of your engagement. Please go with him to visit his Catholic pastor as soon as possible, so that the Church can begin the marriage tribunal process that may terminate with a Decree of Nullity, leaving you free to be married.

God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), January 07, 2002.

Jessica, before comitting to the above, I'd suggest speaking with your Baptist Minister first, and pray with him as to what you must do.

-- Andrew (ajs_78@hotmail.com), January 23, 2002.

Andrew,
If Jessica's Baptist minister is a man of integrity, he will either agree with the advice I have given her or he will advise her to stop considering marriage with her friend.
What he will not do is advise her to prepare to get married with her friend in his Baptist church building. Out of respect for Catholicism, he will not ask her to pressure her friend to enter into something that his Church teaches him is adultery.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), January 24, 2002.

This is actually a question on the same topic. I am Catholic and am interested in dating a divorced Baptist. I understand the rule on Catholics not marrying a divorced Catholic, as the Church does not recognize the legal divorce. However, I've understood that the Church only recognizes marriages that occur IN the Catholic Church and by a Catholic priest. So if he was married in a Baptist ceremony, does the Catholic Church even recognize that as a marriage? If not (which would seem to make sense because that is the rule for Catholic marriage), then isn't he considered never married?

I would really like to know this, so any knowledgeable responses are much appreciated.

-- Meghan (meghanmcd1@aol.com), January 15, 2003.