Football makes a fool of you

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The papers were wringing their hands about Man Utd's demise a few weeks ago, they gave Liverpool the title in October, we thought Andy O'Brien and Craig Bellamy were shocking buys, we thought Speed was sh*te etc.

On that basis, can I just say:

1. Our defence is shite. We are always giving free headers, failing to mark properly, gallumphing forward at dangerous moments, can't communicate, panic and generally give the opposition too much space.

2. Shearer is way past it and will never score in open play with his feet against 11 men again.

3. Bellamy couldn't hit a cow's proverbial with a proverbial.

4. Lolo was a four match wonder.

5. Solano is shocking away from home. And at home.

6. Dyer isn't the same player he was before injury.

7. Speed and Lee are slower than than David Beckham doing a crossword.

8. The manager and his team of coaches haven't a clue.

Any additions to the "Gladly get egg on my face" list?

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

Answers

We will never win a trophy.

We will not buy another quality midfield player this season.

We will never break the British transfer record again.

I will never win the lottery.

There.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002


It will never be wor year ....

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

Distin is smaller than he looks on the telly

YBR will never get his knighthood

Alan Green, Mark Lawrenson and Ray Stubbs actually quite like Newcastle United

If we don't sacrifice some virgins soon, the sun won't rise in the morning

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002


And manure will win every feckin thing in sight. :-{E}

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

I reckon ciara has a thing for LR!

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002


YBR has indeed lost the plot.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

Trevor Francis is probably the best football pundit available. His unbiased, accurate assessment of every move in a game is outstanding.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

Mick Wadsworth chose some awful players for us to sign

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

Toon Down Under will never win a match in the Monday league.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002

... I reckon ciara has a thing for LR! ...

Yeah, but it'll cost a fortune in batteries.

-- Anonymous, January 03, 2002



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