From tomorrow's Torygraph:

Gudjohnsen's double shows up Newcastle

By William Johnson (Filed: 30/12/2001)

NEWCASTLE United have insisted throughout an intoxicating month, which has brought them remarkable victories at Highbury and Elland Road, that they do not yet possess a strong enough team to win the championship for the first time since 1927. The validity of that view was confirmed at a subdued St James' Park on Saturday.

Chelsea, who have developed a happy knack of being able to overcome the nation's top sides, put Bobby Robson's men in their place with a victory far more comprehensive than the slender margin would suggest.

Claudio Ranieri's cosmopolitan outfit may be six points adrift of the Toon Army going into the new year but they look a far better prospect to claim one of the four precious Champions League places on offer this term. And, in the most wide open title race for years, they cannot be discounted for the top hon...

...etc. Laahndan-arselick etc.

-- Anonymous, December 30, 2001

Answers

Tosser.

(Used with due acknowledgement...)

-- Anonymous, December 30, 2001

.......the standard fee will suffice. ;-{]

-- Anonymous, December 30, 2001

Is that a Mark Lawrenson emoticon?

-- Anonymous, December 30, 2001

Bollox! ©

-- Anonymous, December 30, 2001

It was a narrow victory that could easily have gone either way given a bit of luck for us.

Some of these tossers don't even know the slightest thing about football.

-- Anonymous, December 31, 2001

.......no Shags, it's a clarky emoticon! I had the bran mash long before that kn@cker Lawrenson!

Btw ;o{] is also ©

-- Anonymous, January 01, 2002