War on Dirt!

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With all the Government wars going on (War on Terrorism,War on Drugs,War on Warmth,War on Poverty,War on Taxes,etc.,etc.)I am in favor of starting a "War on DIRT"!

I mean it's everywhere,on your boots/shoes,clothes,truck/tractor/car tires,on your garage/barn floor,kitchen floor,in your carpet,on your pets/animals,in your hair. My God! it's even in the woods/fields/yards and adults and children alike work/play/sit/dig in this menace. We have to stop this increasing infiltration of DIRT into our lives. It doesn't go away,you search,you destroy and yet it keeps coming back. Some have even gotten high-tech weaponery to do away with it, but it evades them and comes back to taut you. We have to get our government to step forward and make new laws regarding this issue. Maybe the government could issue all citizens a "National Dirt Identification Card" to carry around on their person so that at least then we would know where and who the DIRT was coming from. This DIRT is a menace to society. We should be check for DIRT before boarding airplanes,before it gets into the engines or something.We should have to remove our clothes and pass under a irradiation system to sterile us and our clothes. At the Canada/Mexico borders we should have arm guards to stop anyone who would even think of smuggling their DIRT into our or their country. They could have DIRT receptacles and we would have to empty our floor mats and trunk carpets into them. !!!NOT IN MY BACKYARD!!! should be our War cry.

-- TomK(mich) (tjk@cac.net), December 29, 2001

Answers

Tom, what a terrific sense of humor !!! Way to go !!! You could organize a Mr. Clean and a Mrs. Clean for state titles, then compete for national title. While your grammar is not 100%, this is the funniest thing I have seen in weeks.

-- Charles Haddon Jr. (Buddybud@csranet.com), December 29, 2001.

This is a family friendly site, no dirty talk.

-- paul (primrose@centex.net), December 29, 2001.

What happens to folks like me who have their worms working overtime producing wormcast ? :>)

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), December 29, 2001.

Dirt is only matter out of place; and what is a blot on the escutcheon of the Common Law may be a jewel in the crown of the Social Republic. -John Chipman Gray

(One man's dirt is another's diamond)

-- Debbie in Mo (risingwind@socket.net), December 30, 2001.


Just Give Up !! We'll never win this war !! I could just see everyone removing their clothes at the border...might not be a very pretty sight !! (he he) But...the government seems to like to waste money of other things....please don't send this idea to Washington...who knows they might just go for it !!! Happy New Year !!!

-- Helena (windyacs@npacc.net), December 30, 2001.


mr. blair i need to see some id please.

thank you.

you are being held for investigation on un american activity of propigating, promoting, purchasing, selling and smelling DIRT.

please sit w/ the other un arrested uncharged 600+ detaineess since 9-11 to be in-jected, re-jected, in-spected, ne-glected....

-- bj pepper in C. MS. (pepper.pepper@excite.com), December 31, 2001.


I waved the white flag (OK, off-white flag) long ago! Kids, chickens, ducks, cats, dogs - too much dirt to deal with.

-- Bonnie (stichart@plix.com), January 02, 2002.

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