I have been divorced for the last two years. My marriage lasted only five years (and in many ways was never a marriage) but I have two children. At the time of my marriage, I had been somwhat estranged from the Catholic Church for several years. I had been very troubled by some philosophical differences with the Church and had attended services at an Episcopal parish for a while, and then had dropped churchgoing almost entirely during the time I was dating my exhusband, with the exception of joining my family at Catholic Church a few times and going to the local Catholic church a few times. My exhusband is a baptized protestant but does not believe in God and has never been a churchgoer in adulthood.

Our marriage was very troubled. I very soon found out that my husband had a very severe drinking problem and had taken great pains to hide this from me during our courtship. We sought counseling but he lied to the counselor and me. He was cruel and evasive during most of the time we were together, and our relationship quickly became hostile and cold.

We were married in a protestant church, with no dispensation from the Catholic Church. Shortly after getting married, I started attending Catholic services regularly again. I have continued to do so, my children were baptized in the Catholic church, and I want to stay active in the church.

Although I am not dating and am not even thinking about marrying again, I would like to see my marriage nullified because I really think it was a farce in many ways and would like the affirmation of that. I talked briefly to someone in the church office about nullity and she said that, because I did not get permission from the bishop, I could get a "decree of nullity due to lack of Canonical Form". However, I am not sure that applies to me because I was non-practicing at the time of marriage and because I had participated fully in the Episcopal parish for a time.

Is this the case? I would love to get the decree of nullity due to lack of Canonical Form, not only because it is easier, but because it would probably be accepted pretty easily by my exhusband. I do not think he would accept my making any kind of official statement about his drinking and other problems, even confidentially, and I am afraid that if I do so the children would suffer from whatever consequences he would decide to put me through. So I'd probably not do the anullment at all.

Thanks for your counsel.

Kate

-- Kate Muusk (muusk@aol.com), December 29, 2001

Answers

Response to anullment when non-practicing at time of marriage

Hello, Kate.
Thanks for visiting with your question. I'm sorry to read about the sufferings you've had to bear. I think that you are doing the right thing now, in trying to clarify your marital status.

You stated: "I talked briefly to someone in the church office about nullity and she said that, because I did not get permission from the bishop, I could get a 'decree of nullity due to lack of Canonical Form.' However, I am not sure that applies to me because I was non-practicing at the time of marriage and because I had participated fully in the Episcopal parish for a time."

Although you have provided lots of good information about yourself, and your husband, there is one thing missing from your account that would help me to know if you could petition for a decree of nullity due to lack of canonical form. You did not state whether or not you made a formal, public break from the Catholic Church just before your wedding. I would not automatically interpret the fact that you "participated fully in the Episcopal parish" as a formal, public break -- but possibly as a kind of "exploring other options." You did not say whether or not you told anyone that you were leaving Catholicism or that you had registered as an Episcopalian parishioner. Moreover, you stated: "Shortly after getting married, I started attending Catholic services regularly again." This tends to indicate that you had not separated yourself in a formal, public way. But only you know the facts with certainty.

If you really left the Church before the wedding day, then you became a Protestant and were not bound by "canonical form" and you cannot petition on that basis. You have to ask yourself, and answer honestly, "Did I really and freely will to leave Catholicism and then publicly act on that decision?"

God bless you.
John

-- (jfgecik@hotmail.com), December 29, 2001.