? - You must remember this (sayings of the year)

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You must remember this...
(Filed: 23/12/2001)

Sayings of the year

Home affairs
Politics
The Royal family
Lord Archer
Religion
Business
Love & Divorce
Europe
Presidents
September 11

Home affairs

"We haven't got a swimming pool or ice skating, so it's the only thing you can do." Tara Marshall, a 14-year-old from Kirkby-in-Ashfield, Nottinghamshire, explains on ITV's Tara's Story why she started having sex when she was 11.

"We seem determined to have an Alzheimer's civilisation - one with no past. It is appalling." Simon Gray, the playwright, on the prospect of Shakespeare being replaced by media studies in GCSE exams.

"How do you put an estimate on a 6ft hamster? We don't sell too many of those." Derek Sadler, an auctioneer, in February on the difficulties of selling the 15,000 exhibits from the Millennium Dome.

"I hope MI5 still listens to my calls. It's my last remaining link with the Establishment." Tony Benn, who announced his retirement as a Labour MP in March.

"The roads are going to be a lot safer now." Geri Halliwell, the pop singer, after being banned in March from driving for 42 days and being fined £400 for speeding.

"The weather is based on chaos theory and it does not know what it is going to do in three or six months." The Met Office on the accuracy of its forecasting.

"I am a sick man. My last wish is to walk into a Margate pub as an Englishman and buy a pint of bitter." Ronnie Biggs, the Great Train Robber, on returning to Britain from Brazil in May.

"Line dancing is as sinful as any other type of dancing, with its sexual gestures and touching. It is an incitement to lust." The Rev Ian Paisley, the leader of the Democratic Unionist Party, in May on why line dancing should be banned.

"Fifteen years ago, Britain was a great country in which to have a heart attack in the street. I don't think it is now." John Le Carre in June.

"I can see so many possibilities already - the Strawberry Fields Cafe, the Give Peace A Chance Lounge." Yoko Ono on July 8 about the newly dedicated Liverpool John Lennon Airport.

"The whole thing is nonsense on stilts." Christine Hamilton in August dismissing claims that she and her husband, the former Tory MP Neil Hamilton, were involved in a serious sexual assault.

"Now that someone has taken the signpost, people are getting even more lost." A spokeswoman for the Aberdeen Tourist Board in August after someone stole the signpost for the village of Lost.

"I hardly felt a thing, although it made me sweat a bit." Jonathan Heatley, the West Sussex GP, who performed his own vasectomy.

"It didn't look like art to me." Emmanuel Asare, an art gallery cleaner, after clearing away an installation by Damien Hirst which he mistook for rubbish.

"I'm a moral person but I think, like most people, my moral values tend to be pretty fuzzy." Mick Jagger.

"Love one another." The last message of George Harrison, the former Beatle, to the world before his death from lung cancer on November 29.

"Tracking through the Amazon, avoiding crocodiles and snakes, pales into insignificance compared to going to Liverpool by train." Col John Blashford-Snell, the explorer, earlier this month after a return rail journey from Dorset took four-and-a-half hours longer than scheduled.

"I can't explain it except that the lights are definitely on or off." Martin Creed, this year's Turner Prize winner, whose main installation was an empty room with lights that go on and off every five seconds.

Politics

"I do not accept in any way that I have acted improperly." Peter Mandelson announcing his resignation as Northern Ireland Secretary over the Hinduja passport affair on January 24.

"They are People's Peers in the sense that they are people who put themselves forward for peerages." Downing Street's response to criticism in April that the 15 new peers were Establishment figures rather than being chosen from among ordinary people.

"John is John." Tony Blair defending his Deputy Prime Minister after John Prescott punched an egg-throwing protester during the General Election campaign in May.

"He loses his temper on Monday and doesn't find it again until Friday." An unnamed civil servant on John Prescott.

"If you said to most people on the Tube, 'Iain Duncan Smith?' they'd probably say, 'Oh, it's the next stop but one.' " Sir Anthony Jay, the co-writer of Yes, Minister, on the then Tory leadership contender.

"At least when they have a vote in Big Brother somebody gets kicked off." Robin Cook, the day before the MPs' second ballot on the Tory leadership contest in July, which had exactly the same candidates as the first ballot did.

"I simply do not understand how Ken Clarke could lead today's Conservative Party to anything other than disaster." Baroness Thatcher, when the contest came down to Iain Duncan Smith and Kenneth Clarke.

"I think the Conservative Party has had quite enough of people throwing their toys out of their pram." Kenneth Clarke, the Tory leadership contender.

"It's now a very good day to get out anything we want to bury. Councillors' expenses?" Jo Moore, a senior aide to Stephen Byers, the Transport Secretary, in an email sent at 2.55pm on September 11.

"Horrible and wrong and stupid." Tony Blair commenting on the now infamous email.

"Let's make it clear. I'm no babe." Ann Widdecombe, during a makeover session for an interview on GMTV.

"Tony Blair is the best friend I've had in politics." Gordon Brown, the Chancellor, anxious to deny rumours of a rift with the Prime Minister last month.

"It's ridiculous to set up a watchdog and then when it starts to bite, shoot it." Tony Wright, the chairman of the Commons Public Accounts Committee, earlier this month on the decision not to reappoint Elizabeth Filkin as the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards.

The Royal family

"I can only assume that it is largely due to the accumulation of toasts to my health that I am still enjoying satisfactory health and have reached such an unexpectedly great age." The Duke of Edinburgh at a lunch in the City celebrating his 80th birthday on June 10.

"What's your brother up to these days?" The Prince of Wales on meeting Bakr bin Laden, one of Osama's brothers, two weeks after the September terrorist attacks, at a dinner at Highgrove to promote understanding of Islam.

"I have never been propositioned so much in my life. But my dad's the real babe magnet." Prince William on his first official visit to Scotland.

Sport

"Even Jesus Christ suffered only one Pontius Pilate. I had a whole team of them." Ken Bates resigning in February as the vice-chairman of the company that is rebuilding Wembley Stadium, after a series of disputes.

"It was thought that Viagra might give racing dogs an extra yard." A spokesman for the Irish Greyhound Board after it banned the use of the anti-impotence drug in June.

"Watching the Aussies at cricket is like watching a porn movie. You always know what's going to happen in the end." Mick Jagger on another disappointing performance by England during this summer's Ashes Series.

"It will be hard, but I would like to prove that humans are still worth something." Vladimir Kramnik, the world chess champion, on the challenge of playing Deep Fritz, the computer chess champion.

Lord Archer

"Wives are not the first to find out these matters." Lady Archer disclosing in court in July that she had learned of one of her husband's affairs from a newspaper.

"The dear old thing always did have a gift for timing, and made a worthy exit during the judge's summing up." Lord Archer's letter to a friend after his mother died just before he was found guilty of perjury on July 29.

Religion

"Christianity as a background to people's lives and moral decisions and to the Government and to the social life of Britain has almost been vanquished." Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, the Archbishop of Westminster, the head of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales, in September.

Business

"The branding consultants said that a word which is recognisable and describes what you do is better than some conglomerate of initials." Neville Bain, the Post Office chairman, on changing the name of the organisation to Consignia in January.

Love & Divorce

"If I ever go with another guy called Earl I'm going to make damn sure he's black." Lady Burford, the actress and singer, on her split from her husband, the Earl of Burford, after failing to fit into the aristocratic life.

"At least I can wear high heels now." Nicole Kidman after her divorce from Tom Cruise in November.

"Ms Hurley and I were not in an exclusive relationship when she became pregnant. It is her choice to be a single mother." American multi-millionaire Stephen Bing who has demanded a paternity test to determine whether he is the father of Elizabeth Hurley's unborn child.

"I was completely loyal and faithful to Stephen throughout this time as, indeed, he assured me he was to me." Elizabeth Hurley's reaction to Bing's statement.

"Steve is a nice Jewish guy who would never marry a yitzahara like Hurley. It was never on the cards." Perry Wander, Bing's lawyer, last week. [Yitzahara is Yiddish for she-devil.]

Europe

"Mussolini's ideas were 99 per cent good, one per cent maybe questionable." Guido Mussolini, the grandson of the Italian Fascist leader, campaigning to be mayor of Rome in April.

"Germans take their humour quite seriously." The German Cultural Attache in London on suggestions that his compatriots' jokes are not funny.

Presidents

"I was speaking and he was looking at the walls, admiring the paintings and frescoes. He was not listening to me." Pope John Paul II on how Bill Clinton, the former US President, failed to pay attention when they met at the Vatican in January.

"I tried to walk a fine line between acting lawfully and testifying falsely but I now realise that I did not fully accomplish that goal." Bill Clinton before leaving office in January.

"All hat and no cattle." George W. Bush on some political theorists.

"What was that about?." George W. Bush to an aide as Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, left their summit meeting in February.

"It is white." George W. Bush's answer when a child in London asked him what the White House was like.

"I'm profoundly grateful to Prime Minister Brown - er, Blair - who has been a strong support for President Bush." Bill Clinton last week.

September 11

"There's one terrible pilot." George W. Bush's initial reaction when he saw the first hijacked passenger jet hit the World Trade Centre in New York.

"You guys ready? Let's roll." The last words of Todd Beamer to a telephone operator before he and other passengers of United Airlines Flight 93 rushed the hijackers.

"We're all going to die, but three of us are going to do something. I love you, honey." Tom Burnett, a father of three, in a call to his wife before Flight 93 crashed near Pittsburg, Pennsylvania.

"If there's a hell, this is the place." Rick Cushman, a former National Guardsman, on the carnage at the World Trade Centre in New York.

"Wanted: dead or alive." George W. Bush describing his plans for Osama bin Laden.

"It's no good looking for a needle in a haystack. You must take out the haystack." Benjamin Netanyahu, the former prime minister of Israel, on the hunt for Osama bin Laden.

"We have to drain the swamp they live in." Donald Rumsfeld, the US Defence Secretary, on destroying bin Laden's terrorist network.

"Every nation in every region now has a decision to make: either you are with us or you are with the terrorists." George W. Bush in his September 23 address to Congress.

"Those who wash my body must be good Muslims. He who washes my body around my genitals should wear gloves so that I am not touched there. No woman must be present at my funeral or go to my grave at any later date." From the will of Mohammed Atta, the leader of the September 11 hijackers, which was found in a car at Boston's Logan Airport in October.

"The events of September 11 were plainly and simply an affront to all humanity. That is the view of the too-rarely heard Arab majority." King Abdullah of Jordan, during a visit to London in November.

"The situation in Afghanistan is just part of the wider story which is the destruction of America. Pray God that this will happen soon." Mullah Mohammed Omar, the Taliban leader, in November.

"They were overjoyed when the first plane hit the building, so I said to them: be patient." Osama bin Laden on a video released by the White House in mid December in which he described his role in the planning of the terrorist attacks.



-- Anonymous, December 22, 2001

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