Let me bore you with the meanderings of an ex-pat Toon supporter, in this case, the lows and highs,as Jonno would say, part and parcel of being `TOON`. okay grab your defibrillator and join me , silly auld fart that I am sitting here at midnight with the most stupid of grins on my face. Although I was due on night shift I awoke early as a sparky was arriving to fix a heating problem, job sorted no problem , casher ,happy buff. Then the last of our xmas cards arrived, mainly friends from Tyneside, a good mate of mine from Dunston (Braeside) informed me he has only three months to live having lung and liver cancer , he is fighting it but the chemotherapy is giving him grief. When you reach a certain age this news becomes more regular and any moans one has puts it all into perspective, Coupled with the fact that my daughter who is expecting her 2nd baby on Jan 10th appears to be having problems and is due for a scan on Monday had me thinking `its going to be one of those days`. We then visited a colleague from work who has been sick for a month to deliver some goodies, this guy same age as myself, (ex Piper Alpha) is waiting to see a specialist for Menias. Although born and bred on the Morayshire coast,apart from obviously his family he as far as I can guess has four main loves in his life, the sea(fishing trawlers) golf, Newcastle United and most of all Alan Shearer. I left my house at 12-15 and taped `On the Ball`, arriving at Benny`s he had the tele on and at first I thought it was the end of the show. I then realised on leaving that he had taped the match against Arse and had set up Shearer on pause just for me. Bit off putting when you ask the guy how he is, he then points to the tv at Big Al and says "still the No 1

Went to bed for an hour at 3pm to get a wee bit of kip, no way, Radio 5 and the match , did I enjoy that, you bet your sweet bippy I did. BTW I now realise that football pundits are all biased to their region etc, if Brooking was pants midweek, Jimmy Armfield had his long Johns on today. Motored into work , reasonably happy after the result and a nosebag of beef curry at home. Only 10 on nightshift, apart from one who is a Rural Rebel, all football fans,most players. I have developed this strategy since we went to the top of being quiet, reserved, non gloating ,still taking in all the comments,in the brief shift changeover it went something like this and not all at me, Jocks discussing with Jocks, -: "Some team eh Buff", Happy noo Buff, "Thought you would be leaping up and doon by noo Buff, all comments and there was a lot more answered with a knowing smile, hard to think of a word for it. Then amongst themselves the pearls of real fans, `Its great to see them dee well for the sake of Robson`, man`s a gent, taaks sense, near enuff 70 ya ken, deserves it, long gone now but after some of the childish stuff put out on RTG in ref to YBR this is music to my ears. Watched the highlights tonight, what can you say without being there, Given is up for it, I stated on here way back that Hughes only position is full back , he has not got the prescence of a cb. Like Pit Bill I admire Distin, early days but the first time he stroked the ball away I knew he could play football. Overall Bellamy has made the biggest difference to team performance , lot to learn though, Dyer was/is class, the way I see it confidence,run of the ball, and my favourite (and Dan`s) pace and movement are the main ingredient of our recent results. Quote of the Day Rad 5, when LuaLua went past Kelly in last minute commentator muttered, "speed of the sub, looks like Kelly is running backwards". So when the chef rang up tonight and said Beef Curry was on tonite I said "No problem pal", in fact nothing is a problem, the toon can have that effect on you. Thanks for listening.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 2001

Answers

Accentuating Positive

-- Anonymous, December 22, 2001

Merry Christmas, Buff! Cracking posting. You shoulod have been there. It wez bliddy fantastic, but the bits we miss being "there" are great to hear afterwards. Have a good 'un.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 2001

Buff,
You're right. Nee half measures with the Toon. It's either 'Try this on for size, pal, it doesn't get any better', or 'You think this is bad, pal ? You ain't seen nothin' yet.'

When it is good, but, it's bliddy good. I thoroughly enjoyed today's performance, they hardly put a foot wrong. Okay, Leeds scored 3, but we still scored one more. I can live with that, although me blood pressure, me nerves and me geps might not agree.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 2001

Wakey Wakey, wherever you may be,

We are members of the Toon Army,

Not the cat`s, they are Reid`s,

We are the team that just beat Leeds,

Breakfast menu.

Glass of left over dog.

Woodbine (provided)

Rashers of bacon, Tommy Dixons sausages, black pudding

Eggs(3) sunnyside up cos we are happy chappies.

Toast....I give you Sir Robert Robson.

Stotties, optional. enjoy.

House hint, Thoroughly clean teeth today as you will smile a lot.

Last call for Screacher

Rise and shine, hands off c££ks, on socks ,dont lie

there looking at it, sling it ower the side and climb doon it,sing hi ho hi ho , off to pub we go,with tales to tell,feelin well?? hi ho hi ho hi ho.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 2001

another gem Buff. Pour yersel an extra splash of malt and bask in that warm glow

-- Anonymous, December 23, 2001

Morning, Buff! (well it's morning in Baltimore anyhoo) So glad you've still got 'net access to lead the celebrations! :-)

-- Anonymous, December 23, 2001

Great postings Buff, glad you're still here.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 2001

Cheers Ciarra, I seem to have a wee reprieve, the team leaders have flown back to Houston until the 7th leaving the net accessible and Lotus 5.0 in the deep stuff, there is a Houston Jinx, pse

-- Anonymous, December 23, 2001